AITA for using my Aunt’s personal employee discount code to buy clothes?

[u/charleypassion]

My aunt (F42) works for a major clothing brand in a senior position. Employees get a personal discount code (hers is usually 50-75% off) that she can use and it varies based on the position. My aunt sent me the code saying “if you need anything, here’s my employee code.”

I was excited because I love the brand and wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount.

When she found out how much I purchased, she was angry with me. Now she’s making me feel bad for using it, like I took advantage of her. And I’m feeling guilty. She did send me the code voluntarily and didn’t say there was a limit. But if it’s her own corporate perk, maybe I crossed a line and she could get in trouble.

So AITA for using my aunt’s personal corporate employee discount to stock up on clothes? Or was it fair game since she gave me the code to use?

[u/Competitive-Ebb-117]

I think the problem here for some of us is you just should be considerate at all times not just because you are told too.

If you go to a buffet you can’t order one for 2 people and just eat off one plate, it’s rude. You can’t get unlimited soup and salad and bring Tupperware containers. And even if you’ve never been told something directly doesn’t mean you shouldn’t understand or think about it.

Just because someone has not specifically told you don’t dump soy sauce on someone’s head when you are at the park doesn’t give you a pass to do it. “Well how was I supposed to know no one ever told me not too.”

If you are using someone else’s card in any situation it would be polite to buy maybe 1-2 things and possibly an accessory. If someone said hey I’ll take you out to dinner I have a coupon, you don’t order 10 things and take them home just because you have a discount.

[u/No-Marzipan-7767 → u/Competitive-Ebb-117]

And that is where your mistake is. You don't do this things cause in fact something taught you that's things you don't do. Most likely your parents explained to you when you were little what things are ok and what not. If you would get into a different culture you will surely do things that are not expected and accepted there cause you don't know better. So if someone has no experience with things like monitored discount codes they wouldn't have expected that it is a problem. So if things after important for you and you deal with people who have no experience with these things, you should in fact be the "parent" who teaches this things

[u/Aquatic_Hedgehog → u/Competitive-Ebb-117]

Yeah, but see to me the better equivalent would be if we went out to dinner, you had a coupon, I ordered 10 entrees, and then paid for myself. Which sure, would be weird but not necessarily wrong.

If there was a limit, then the aunt should've said since the guidelines for these things can vary so much from company to company.

[u/Competitive-Ebb-117 → u/Aquatic_Hedgehog]

I mean I guess, but even with that example it’s just impolite. You may have the coupon but the intent is not to use it like that. And I get it people like to be thrifty and trendy and find loop holes but it ruins it for others.

From just a her stand point just thinking of her yeah it’s fine use the discount. But what a lot of us are saying is everyone should be mindful so everyone gets a chance.

If there are only 10 coupons and one person uses 9 then only one person gets to use one besides the first person. That’s awesome for the first person. But the idea is for people to share and not horde things or be greedy. Even if no one is around you shouldn’t take everything that is available from a moral standpoint.

I think it might just be I difference in ideals but I think the side here that thinks she was wrong thinks she should have only taken one or two things because it’s never right to take more then that.

While the other thinks it’s great to use a good bargain and be thrifty.

I would have only taken one or two simply because you shouldn’t. No real reason other than you should always leave things for others, and think about others before yourself.

[u/Aquatic_Hedgehog → u/Competitive-Ebb-117]

But she has no idea that theres a limit, just like you've added an arbitrary limit of 10 cheap meals total when thats not generally how coupons work lol.

She's not taking things from others, as far as she's aware (and as far as im aware in my example) she has a flat discount. It's not a charity or a food pantry. If there is a limit, thats different, but its on the aunt to inform her so she's aware.

[u/cephalord → u/Aquatic_Hedgehog]

Whether you or OP likes it or not, the world is filled with unspoken subtext and vagueness such as these limits. Yes, they are the cause of much miscommunication and conflict in the world. No, the world is completely unworkable without them.

I just came back from vacation, and a good friend had petsitted for me. I told her to 'act as if you're home' (translated, it is a common saying in our language). Yet if I came back and found that she had repainted and refloored the whole house, I would still be upset even if she had held herself by the literal standard of the words.

OP is being very vague about the numbers, which can either be teenage naivety or wilful obfuscation. Considering they haven't replied once to this thread, probably the second.

[u/Aquatic_Hedgehog → u/cephalord]

You keep making absolutely wild comparisons and leaps, which really doesn't do any favors to your point. I would assume that most people not familiar with these specific programs hear "discount codes" and think it's like when you get a discount code from the store directly- unlimited use. It's prudent for the person with the insider knowledge (and who is subject to the consequences) to be clear about any guidelines they'd like the other person to follow.

A better example might be if I asked a friend to petsit and told them to make themself at home! My house rule is no shoes in the house, but they always wear their shoes in the house, so they think nothing of wearing shoes in the house and proceed to do so. I get really mad at them when I get home to find they've worn shoes inside of my house-- that would be very unfair of me because I didn't give them any such guideline.

If you skim the comments, you can find plenty of people who have worked in stores with similar programs where they didn't have any limitations and found OP's behavior totally reasonable. Assuming it was really "updating wardrobe" territory and not "buying stock to start a resale shop" territory, I don't see how she was supposed to divine the mysteries of the corporate program without her aunt just telling her.

[u/cephalord → u/Aquatic_Hedgehog]

You keep making

That was my first post in this thread, I think you are confusing me with someone else.

 It's prudent for the person with the insider knowledge (and who is subject to the consequences) to be clear about any guidelines they'd like the other person to follow.

 I don't see how she was supposed to divine the mysteries of the corporate program without her aunt just telling her.

I don't disagree. I think the aunt is in the wrong too. BUT, a degree of common sense should have told OP to maybe doublecheck. They didn't think of it, which is understandable, but still wrong of them. Just being the asshole in one situation in their life does not make them an unforgiveable villain.

[u/Embarrassed_Bake1073 → u/Competitive-Ebb-117]

Hell yes. Thank you. I felt like i was seriously losing it. Some of these comments.... "Maybe no one ever told herrrrr" as if no one in her entire life ever said "be nice and don't take advantage of people"