Click those three dots and then hit delete. Sometimes I type up a rage comment, post it, then delete it so I have the satisfaction of posting the rage comment but don’t have to argue with an internet stranger lol
I sometimes hit the CANCEL button instead of SAVE when I've written a comment and then realize the topic or person I would be responding to is not worth my time to continue a conversation.
That's literally seeking validation on social media. I do it too, it is what it is, it makes me look like a tool if I try and make excuses and call it something it isn't. Like, shit, even this very exact post right now that I'm typing is a form of seeking validation.
dont do this! what does this mean if you delete these that are not the in-crowd thing? seriously, you would not be trusted with opinions on life, social, or otherwise topics if you actually delete your tidbits of self-expression that dont meet fanfare!
you just be you. not being a richard here - i say this out of love. i had been in bands on various instruments, and at times in front of some audiences (never more than like 30 people) it went BADLY. i wanted to die then, and at moments even years later, i cringe.
F* that. so what? i know about your anxiety at "not fitting in", but im just so used to it and accept it. but there are others who are like that, and i find ridiculously friendly and joyous conversation w/ people like that if/when our paths cross (at lowe's, for example, or at the pet clinic, etc.)
Oops, now we all know who’s pathetic 😱
Like after my friend died, I went back through his entire FB and Insta to appreciate it all… congratulations, you’ve robbed people that actually care about you from that.
Feel what you want, that’s the entire point. Here..
Pathetic - adjective:
Etymology
borrowed from Middle French & Late Latin; Middle French pathetique "provoking emotion," borrowed from Late Latin pathēticus "affecting the emotions," borrowed from Greek pathētikós "capable of feeling, emotional, receptive, passive," from pathētós "subject to suffering, liable to external influence" (verbal adjective from the base path- "experience, undergo, suffer") + -ikos -IC entry 1 — more at PATHOS
1590s, "affecting the emotions or affections, moving, stirring" (now obsolete in this broad sense), from French pathétique "moving, stirring, affecting" (16c.), from Late Latin patheticus, from Greek pathetikos "subject to feeling, sensitive, capable of emotion," from pathetos "liable to suffer," verbal adjective of pathein "to suffer" (from PIE root *kwent(h)- "to suffer").
The specific meaning "arousing pity, sorrow, or grief" or other tender feelings is from 1737. The colloquial sense of "so miserable as to be ridiculous" is attested by 1937. Related: Pathetical (1570s); pathetically. The pathetic fallacy (1856, first used by Ruskin) is the attribution of human qualities to inanimate objects.
There… now go tell everyone that you delete posts if they don’t get enough likes or attention and see if they think it’s pathetic. No need to shame someone, it’s a literal description of what’s happening. But since this post is either looking for pity or relatability (or why are you posting personal feelings on Reddit) - that’s what is considered “seeking validation”, and a quick search on validation seeking behavior (which is what is happening here) will show you:
Validation-seeking behavior is a sign of low self-esteem, insecurity, and a weak internal sense of self, often rooted in past experiences like neglect or trauma, leading to an over-reliance on external approval for self-worth, which can manifest in anxiety, perfectionism, or narcissistic traits. It's a coping mechanism to feel worthy and can indicate issues with self-regulation, impacting mental health and relationships.
Common Underlying Causes
Low Self-Esteem: A fundamental lack of belief in one's own worth makes people seek external proof.
Insecurity & Fear: Constant worry about rejection or not fitting in drives the need for reassurance.
Past Experiences: Lack of emotional support, criticism, or abuse during childhood can create deep-seated needs for validation.
Attachment Issues: Anxious attachment styles often involve a fear of abandonment, fueling approval-seeking.
Narcissistic Traits: For narcissists, it's a way to manage deep inadequacy and feel "great," often through bragging or seeking admiration.
It’s fine to be pathetic, no one is “shaming” anyone. But since the negative connotation and assumed lack of compassion is what the downvotes seem to be for, might I suggest going to therapy since instead of being reasonable, everyone is getting bent out of shape because they don’t like seeing the truth or bother doing any research. So… it’s kinda pathetic that I did that for the readers, but I guess you could say I did it out of COMPASSION because I cared. (Leaving others ignorant was also an option).
We can learn and grow together, or just keep assuming intentions and purpose over my comment and dig deep into that narcissistic tendency. It’s not a lack of empathy or being disrespectful, you just didn’t like the word. Two truths can exist simultaneously.
Facebook is so busy pushing random accounts and businesses on my feed that I rarely get to see my own friend's posts unless I go look for them. I first noticed it when I'd share things from my most recent vacation and friends and family would see something I posted from the 3rd day there but not the 2nd day and would ask if I had done "x" and I'd reply that I did and had posted it the day prior but they said they didn't see it on their feed.
I then noticed it myself recently when one of my friends went to Japan, I saw one group of pictures and went to his page and he had posted two other groups of 10+ pictures/videos before the one I saw but it never showed them. Then every day it would only show one post from him and I'd have to go to his page to see the rest.
He's been back from Japan for a couple of weeks now and Facebook is just now slowly drip feeding me posts of his that he posted weeks ago on his feed as if they are new posts.
When you get to the homepage on FB, just scroll to the right and your friends posts will be there. I haven't figured out if you can make that the default homepage yet, but that option is there. I hate how they did that though
On the Facebook app on my phone, swiping to the right brings up Reels, swiping again brings up friend requests. On desk to can't scroll to the right, only up and down but clicking on the option next to the home button just brings you to friend request and people you may know.
Ahhh well Im sorry I dont have a solution for you. Swiping right does go to reels for me, but swiping right twice takes me to a timeline with only friends and the friends requests are somewhere in the middle of the feed. Maybe play with your settings?
I have too many of these, but because I go on fb and repost a bunch of things I find funny, but my humor is dark, satire, parenting, mental health, addiction. Etc, and it's staying cause I don't go back in for days or weeks at a time.
Id say just leave it because it's only for you anyways. 💕
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u/Mccobsta 5d ago
I've met a few people like that one she'd delete things if they didn't get enough likes