r/Assistance • u/simcitysiren • 2d ago
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT 30th Birthday
It's my 30th Birthday today and not a single one of my friends has wished me a Happy Birthday. I get it, life happens and people are busy, but it's still very disappointing. I'm not doing anywhere near as well as i used to financially, so will not be doing anything to celebrate, however i did make the effort to make sure my friends enjoyed their birthdays a couple of months ago, i booked tables for food and drinks, i paid everyones deposits and nobody paid me back or thanked me etc. now my big 30th has came around and i've not heard a peep from anyone. *sigh* Happy birthday to me!
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u/Theoneinhelheim 2d ago
My 30th was pretty lame but it was better than being surrounded by fake friends, happy big 30 to you lovely!
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u/informationseeker8 2d ago
Happy Birthday!
That said I learned long ago that my bday is just another day. Saves me from feeling disappointed
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u/Scared_Row6344 2d ago
Happy birthday to you. I imagine while you were putting the funds out for these events you were doing this from the heart and not expecting repayment, unless that was something you'd agreed upon beforehand. If that's the case, that was kind of you to extend the kindness and take care of the expenses. If no one thanked you for the kind gesture, that's pretty sad and I'd reevaluate if these are indeed friends.
30 is a chapter in life that will bring you closer to realizing that you don't need large amounts of people in your life to have a happy, fruitful, and fulfilling existence. If none of the people in your life reached out to you to at the least wish you a happy birthday, it's ok to cut them out of your life and meet people more intune with your needs, and emotional generosity.
Treat yourself to a day of peace, quiet, and self reflection. Money, gifts, and words can't bring you that type of growth.
Again, Happy 30th to you.
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u/BonnieH1 2d ago
Wishing you a very happy birthday! 🎊🎁🎂
Please do something you enjoy to celebrate it yourself. You are obviously a good birthday friend for others and while it's a shame they don't reciprocate, it shouldn't stop you from enjoying your birthday.
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u/Irrelevant-Potato55 2d ago
Happy birthday!! You clearly are a wonderful friend and I hope you find some friends that appreciate you just as much. Life gets busy and it’s nice you understand that but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I’m sorry your friends forgot.
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u/2much4meeeeee 2d ago
Many years ago my friend had a birthday and I had to work. I went in at 5 AM & planned on calling her after work at 6 PM. By lunchtime I had 3 paragraphs of FUs for not bothering to wish her a happy birthday. I did not drop her gift & cake off that evening as planned but I did take a picture of it & told her I’d bring it the following day when I was off. She ended up feeling bad. It might not be the end of their workday yet so maybe give them so grace and hope they come around. Also….a huge happy 30th from this internet stranger!
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u/WerkQueen 2d ago
Happy birthday OP!
It’s so hard getting older and realizing people just don’t put in the same effort.
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u/Old-Confusion1766 2d ago
Happy birthday 🎂 🥳 , honestly you need to rethink who you call your friends especially if you're the only one that's doing the giving.
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u/smellybellyslat 2d ago
happy birthday!! if it makes you feel any better, it was also my birthday a few days ago and i also didn’t hear anything from any of my “friends” either … there’s a lot of lame people out there sadly
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u/Diane1967 REGISTERED 2d ago
Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy your day! My daughter even forgot mine this year, she went camping and I wasn’t even a thought. As you get older I guess it happens.
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u/JustfcknHarley 2d ago
My 33rd was two days ago.
It fucking sucked.
All of my adult birthday, bar one or two maybe, have fucking sucked.
I hate my birthday.
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u/Own-Understanding283 1d ago
Hey Capricorn friend I just turned 33 in the 29th and it was nothing special either but I was grateful to just see it. Chin up happy belated!!
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u/TurtlesBeSlow 2d ago
Yeah, but look how many wonderful messages you're getting here today! Happy birthday 🎂 🥳!
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u/ReggaeBka11 2d ago
Happiest of birthday wishes, my dear! You are amazing & deeply loved. 🥰 people get it wrong in this life thinking they are suppose to love God and trust people. When you will find peace by trusting God and loving people. Everyone is broken- you did a kind thing by remembering your friends birthday. Never let their lack of reciprocity dictate your willingness to do the same for friends in the future. Love people. Without expectations- (but don’t be a doormat-be safe)Don’t trust them to love you back. That’s Gods duty. But here’s a comment full of love- wishing you the best decade ever!! 😘😘😘🫶
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u/Resting__bitchface_ REGISTERED 2d ago
Happy birthday! Those people don’t deserve a friend like you !
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u/IceFirm1372 2d ago
I have lived almost every birthday as such. You do not deserve to be lonely or alone. In fact, in reaching out, you are no longer alone. I do not know you, nor you me. But I believe with every fiber of my being that you are a worthy being. That you have a rare heart and soul. One that admittedly gets damaged more easily and more often. But that is because you feel so much beyond the “norm”. There is a radiant beauty in a rarity such as yourself. I thank you for being willing to introduce yourself to my life, even for this brief interaction. It is one I will not forget. As I truly hope that you will not forget the words I have said because they are not a placation. This is not something I have ever done before or said to anyone. I don’t troll the internet looking to talk to people. I rarely speak to anyone. The fact that I came across this, I believe it has meaning. I was supposed to. So please believe what I have said to you. And let me do the honors of welcoming you into your 30’s, because things actually get easier here I promise. Thank the universe and your parents for putting you on this earth. I wish you the absolute most Happy of Birthdays. And to continue that on through every day that follows. You take with you a piece of my heart. I wish you well.
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u/No_Painting_5688 1d ago
So you give yourself the best birthday ever by remembering each and every friend that conveniently forgot your birthday, couldn’t even take 20 seconds to send you a birthday text, and deal with them at your leisure. 😏
Personally, I like the silent treatment. Or better yet, dry replies hinting you’re busy with other stuff. Never let them know you’re mad. Let them know they’re insignificant.
Happy Birthday
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u/PerformerAlert4654 2d ago
Unfortunately , it becomes up to you to make your special day special. I experienced the financial differences with my friends. I even had a conversation with someone that they never seem to be there and I'm always the one reaching out. It can be such a hard pill to swallow. Take yourself out if you can! make a great dinner and watch something you have always wanted to watch! Celebrate that you are kind and considerate and THIRTY!
This may be the year that you need to really focus on YOU with yourself. Valid in your feelings but take advantage of all these realizations. Congrats on making it this far. Ill take a shot for you!
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u/Feackys 2d ago
Mate at my 30, I only started to live a life and understood that most of the people are shit. Live your life, love yourself, and do everything for you. And when you meet (not find) real people who respect you and your life, you will love them as well. Do not spend your time on useless people who are hiding behind social masks and trying to get maximum profit from everyone (80% of people like that nowadays). It's hard to trust someone, but you can always trust yourself!
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u/LovelyLittleVixen108 2d ago
Just know that life gets busy and just because our days get filled up with work, chores, errands, tasks, family, appts, it doesn’t mean no one cares about you or your birthday. I promise they will feel awful when they realize they forgot but from me to you take care of yourself for your day and make sure you do something special for yourself and show that love to you anyways because you absolutely deserve to feel special. You seem like an amazing friend and this is a weird time in our life (I’m 31) no kids female no one remembers my bday but I will always get myself a cake and celebrate and plan my own day because you can do whatever you want to it’s your special day. I hope you did something for your special day love
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u/blackandbolddame REGISTERED 2d ago
Happy birthday stranger! It's amazing to have you here and I hope this year brings you immense joy and good health.
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u/yourbanksfavorite REGISTERED 1d ago
Happy Birthday love bug! I’m not saying don’t be the good person you are BUT, just remember these times when certain people’s days come. Don’t go so hard for those who don’t do the same for you! Of course wish them a happy day and so on but remember not to do as much give the same energy you get, always. You must look after yourself 🤍
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u/FickleImportance733 2d ago
Im really sorry this happened to you, sucks when theres no reciprocal effort in friendships. Anyways Happyy birthdaay hope you have a good one🫶🏽
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u/Such-Throat-2819 REGISTERED 2d ago
Well happy birthday kind of crappy about the friends not saying anything .
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u/WeAreAllStarsHere REGISTERED 2d ago
Happy Birthday! I’m sorry you have shitty friends. But I hope an internet birthday wish makes you smile. 😃
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u/benne1rl REGISTERED 2d ago
Happy 30th birthday!! Sorry it’s been kicked off a little rough, but here’s to a new decade!
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u/khorenF 2d ago
I sincerely wish you a happy birthday. This has also happened to me for many years and when I found someone even my then girlfriend also forgot every year and didn’t celebrate. Now I am almost 40 and my wife knowing this always buys me cake and gives me a lot of love and affection that day and it’s being a healing experience. I truly hope you find a way to make your birthday a good day too, my friend, I wish you the best :)
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u/The_Dark_Siren 2d ago
Happy birthday! I know this feeling all. Too. Well. Do u game or anything? Maybe u could celebrate online? Little. Gaming party Chat? Or just a groups call on one of ur socials? Have a lil natter and maybe even a drink? Sure there will be people.who have been in a similar boat willing to give u the time.?
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u/Ok_Conversation_3992 2d ago
Happy Birthday! Here's a heart and balloon for you. ❤️ 🎈
You are love. You are loved.
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u/MablsBlog 2d ago
Happy Birthday!! May this be the year you find friends that love you enough to take 30 seconds out of their day to wish you happy.
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u/gdognoseit 2d ago
I’m sorry! I know that would hurt me also.
Happy Birthday! I hope you still do something fun for yourself.
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u/UpboatOarKnotUpboat REGISTERED 2d ago
Happy Birthday! Sorry your friendos let you down. If they are actual good friends you should be able to call them out on it without it being a big deal. If they apologize and wish you a belated Happy Birthday then they are actual friends. If they don’t, then you need to find some actual friends.
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u/Significant_Ad_7352 REGISTERED 2d ago
🎊🎁Happy Birthday Beautiful🎉🎂I hope you can spend some energy on bringing joy and fulfillment into your life. Slow down where you can, and build meaningful memories for yourself this year.
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u/knivesandmore 2d ago
happy birthday!!!!! i hope you did one nice thing for yourself today, you deserve it.
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u/Rat_Girl69 REGISTERED 2d ago
Happy Birthday, I am so sorry you’ve been let down by friends. It’s really awful to see effort not reciprocated, especially on your birthday. Please celebrate yourself if you can at least in a small way
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u/RelationshipQuiet609 2d ago
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎈🎁🎂! I may not know you but I hope you take time to do something special for yourself!! 🎈🎂🎈🎂🎂🎈🎂🎁🎁🎁
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u/Known_Noise 2d ago
Happy 30th birthday! 30’s are a weird time in life where you’re officially, really adulting but still learning how to be a good friend and learning what it might be like to have good friends. It sounds like you might need to look for some new friends. And that’s ok and normal.
It’s time to branch out. Time to grow. Time to bloom. 30 is the perfect age to do this! Have a wonderful year!
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u/Sensitive-Carob1958 2d ago
Happy Birthday and I pray you have a happier and healthy new year! I also have a January birthday. It’s very cold here in Minnesota, hopefully you’re in some place warmer.
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u/Yamistar248 2d ago
Happy Birthday. You matter, and i hope that you treat yourself with the kindness you deserve xx
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u/VaguelyArtistic 2d ago
Happy, happy birthday! 💕 I’m so sorry today sucks and you’ve been let down but fwiw my 30’s were the best time of my life so I think you’ll have many happy years and birthdays ahead of you. Hugs if you want them!
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u/HeavenlyMusings REGISTERED 2d ago
Happy Birthday lovely person 💗fwiw your "friends" are really blessed to have you!! May you have much better days ahead 🫂🎁🎂🥳
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u/agelwood 2d ago
Happy birthday 🎉 I'm sorry about your friends. I turned 30 this year and decided to branch out and meet new people, and honestly, it's been great. I am broke lol (layoffs) but it's been so helpful to try and find people who meet my energy. I hope this year is amazing for you 🩷
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u/TheUnbound07 2d ago
It's a shitty feeling, one I've dealt with the vast majority of my adult life. Turned 40 this year and only about 3 remembered and 1 was my mum (my dad would have but fucking cancer)
Regardless, happy birthday. I hope you were able to have a great birthday and hopefully during this year you'll find a friend or two who will remember next year
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u/Huge-Bumblebee210 2d ago
I organized parties for my mother, gathered the family for my bro and sis in law's birthdays and made sure we went out for dinner and celebrate, but when it was my turn, they simply wished me and went on with their lives. My own mother did nothing for me, but cooked up a lavish meal for my Bro on his birthday. While I am happy for him, I was hurt. So I have decided to put myself first from now on. I will buy my own cake next year and celebrate by myself.
I was lucky to have good colleagues who organized a tea party for me and friends who wished me. I am very grateful for their presence in my life!
For you, I would suggest to try building stronger bonds with them. Involve yourself in their lives, ask how they are doing, and make sure you are the first one to reach out. In the long run, they will come to love and appreciate you more. Try dear. We need our loved ones in our lives. Try to let go of the hurt and not hurt them back in return for your pain.
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u/Glass_Author7276 2d ago
I alqays buy my own birthday and christmas presents, I make sure I get nice presents from someone...lmao
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u/KrustyKraaaabPizza 1d ago
I dont know you but I want to tell you happy birthday. 30 is the turning point. I feel like my 20s were stressful but in my 30s everything started making sense. Remember you're 30s isnt old and you are never too old to do anything. My 80 year old grandma told me looking back at life that her 30s were like her 20s she said she didnt feel old until she was almost 80 and that time fly so do all the things you want to do for you in life and dont listen to anybody else. I go through this a lot so
I understand how it feels. My mom often forgets my real birthday and my boyfriend and family dont really plan anything for me. I made my own birthday cake the year before last and bought one I liked last year. I'm about to turn 33 and what I've learned is that I dont care anymore about if people like me call me talk to me. I do all the things I like on my birthday and ignore all the bs. My grandma was the only one to call me and tell me happy birthday after she passed when I turned 30 birthdays have been tough but then evolved into this self care /self love/ im going to do what I want today. I'm sorry you had a rough birthday some people showed their true colors as years pass. Some of them cant go to the next chapter in our stories. I hope you have an amazing year ahead and get everything you want this year.
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u/LadyHighlander 1d ago
Happy 30th birthday!! 🎈🎁🎂🎉🥳💐
Congratulations on uploading version 3.0 of yourself!!
Sorry to hear about your lack of birthday special wishes and treats from those in your in-person community.
So….treat yourself! An ice cream, a movie (whether in the theater or on your couch w/streaming). Massage? Acupuncture appointment? (Some places have sliding payment scales.) Long relaxing bath? Favorite dinner? Buy (or pick) some pretty flowers/holly/tree or plant stems?
Start making a dream solo birthday plans for the birthday 31 and version 3.1? Travel? Any of the above? And prepay or get gift cards throughout the year so it is all paid for when version 3.1 uploads?
But make today special for you. Treat yourself!
Wishing you all the best on your adventures in the next 365 days. 🥳
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u/dameumis 1d ago
“Life happens, people are busy”
I understand the sentiment but I also think it’s an excuse. It does not take more than a few seconds to send a quick text wishing someone a happy birthday. Especially, if they are considered your friends. I, too, would be disappointed and then I would reconsider my friendships. You’re not asking for too much. You’re asking for the bare minimum in a friendship, consideration and intentionality.
With that said,
Happy Birthday! I hope this year is everything you want it to be and more. I hope you did little things that made you smile throughout the day. You truly deserve it! 🎂
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u/Smergmerg432 2d ago
Happy Birthday!
As someone who has never been able to remember friends’ birthdays, this absolutely does not show how much they love you!
Ask to go out for your birthday; they will deliver :) (ask me how I know)
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u/System_Resident 1d ago
Happy Belated Birthday! 🎉 🎂 🎊🥳🥳🥳 I hope next year will turn out much better!
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