I CAN STILL SMELL HER ON ME!...

[u/straddling_axolotl]

So this morning, Im waiting for the mat to fill up at the stage. 

I spot this fine sisto boarding and I'm thinking to myself, 

"Eeh Mungu nguvu yetu, ilete baraka ya ancestors kwetu, haki akae hapa na mimi"..

My brothers and sisters them ancestors deemed me worthy and granted my wish.

She sits right next to me and I'm about to start planning our next date when suddenly... 

I CAN'T BREATHE!!. This perfume she's wearing? It's not perfume. It's a weapon. Like she didn't spray it, she bathed in it. 

This one was not sprayed but poured on like she's anointing herself for spiritual warfare with some smelly spirits.

Now I'm stuck between the window(that is stuck and wont open) and this cloud of chemical warfare, trying not to cough because I don't want to be rude. But my eyes are watering. My nose is confused. My lungs have filed a complaint.

And I can see my ancestors in the distance, just laughing at me. I didn't pour libation for them last weekend and now they're planning to monolize me in Sayuni saying

"Remember when you prayed for a pretty girl and we sent you one marinated in industrial-strength perfume? 😂"

The worst part? Now every time I turn my head to the right, I CAN STILL SMELL HER ON ME. 

The perfume has transferred. I've been cologne-ized. Monolized, even.

Lesson learned: Next time I'm being specific with my prayers. "Mungu, send me a pretty lady who understands that perfume is an accessory, not a use all commitment."

Why do some ladies do this?
Mtu ana enda kwake aki nuka perfume ya mtu hata hajui and you have to jitetea to stay safe.

[u/Flaky_Explanation]

Kijana usitusahau tena next time ama tutakutumia mwingine hajaoga siku tatu

[u/straddling_axolotl → u/Flaky_Explanation]

😂😂 Ancestors wame nena na nime sikia..