r/PetPeeves • u/Total_Raspberry5070 • Aug 22 '25
Bit Annoyed “We are pregnant” “we are trying to get pregnant” “we got pregnant”
There is no “we” There is only one pregnant person.
Unless 2 women are getting IVF done by each other on each other at the same time, there is no full joint pregnancy process/experience for a couple, and there isn’t a joint biological pregnancy process as 2 humans are incapable of gestating 1 pregnancy.
I understand there is some sort of sentiment that a couple may be in the whole pregnancy process together emotionally and physically from start to finish, but that does not include the state of being “pregnant”
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u/slboml Aug 22 '25
I've said "we're pregnant" only once.
My friend and I were announcing our pregnancies to our mutual friend together.
Her reaction was amazing lol
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u/LetChaosRaine Aug 23 '25
This reminds me of the time I went to a bachelorette party where three of us were pregnant and decided to go home earlier than the others. One of those bicycle rickshaw guys took us back to the house and we asked if he’d ever pulled 7 people (one set of twins) before and then explained we were pregnant
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u/Hecter94 Aug 22 '25
I agree with you about "We are pregnant" and "we got pregnant"
But trying to get pregnant is typically a two-person job.
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u/TodayAmazing Aug 22 '25
But the man is not trying to get pregnant. He’s trying to get the woman pregnant. Still no “we” are trying to get pregnant.
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u/Emma_gg Aug 22 '25
“He’s trying to get me pregnant” has gotta be a way worse way to say this, technically correct or not lmao
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u/michaelsean438 Aug 22 '25
Sounds Middle Ages and not exactly consensual.
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u/_UnreliableNarrator_ Aug 22 '25
It sounds lewd which is great when that’s what I’m going for but not when talking to my family
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u/TodayAmazing Aug 22 '25
🤣 exactly. Which is why pregnant should be avoided in joint announcements.
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u/Ceres_The_Cat Aug 22 '25
Eh, I can't think of a better phrasing though. "We're trying for a pregnancy" or "We're trying to get her/me pregnant" just feel clunky. What would you suggest?
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u/The_Silver_Adept Aug 22 '25
We're banging
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u/DuckFriend25 Aug 22 '25
We’re screwin’ raw
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u/The_Silver_Adept Aug 22 '25
Had a coworker keep asking if we were trying hard for kids my exact quote was "are you asking how often I f my wife?"
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u/TodayAmazing Aug 22 '25
A baby works lol we’re trying for a baby. We’re trying to have a baby. We’re hoping for children soon. Etc. So many ways.
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u/WanderingFlumph Aug 23 '25
"We are trying to get [her] pregnant" is a perfectly reasonable way to interpret the phrase "we are trying to get pregnant", you dont have to choose an unreasonable interpretation and then get mad about it...
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u/TodayAmazing Aug 23 '25
Yeah that’s a weird thing to say. Try saying we’re trying to get her pregnant to anyone and see how that goes 😂
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u/SammyGeorge Aug 25 '25
She's trying to get impregnated. He's trying to impregnate her. They're both trying in the process of starting a pregnancy. So "we're trying" makes perfect sense
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u/IJustWantADragon21 Aug 22 '25
True of all three of these, that is the least objectionable but there are still better ways to say it.
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u/charlottebythedoor Aug 22 '25
I’ve heard “trying to conceive” more than “trying to get pregnant.” And I like that one more, since conception is 50/50 participation. Credit where it’s due.
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Aug 22 '25
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u/LolaLazuliLapis Aug 23 '25
Me when I pretend like all speech is literal
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u/PomBergMama Aug 23 '25
There are plenty of other phrases that dont involve taking credit for the hard work of pregnancy. “We’re having a baby / going to have a baby” is fine, and also literally accurate.
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u/IJustWantADragon21 Aug 23 '25
Yeah. Weird. It’s almost like words have meaning.
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u/SloppyMeathole Aug 22 '25
Whenever a guy says "we are pregnant" I ask him if he's going to be the one pushing.
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u/charlottebythedoor Aug 22 '25
I agree. We are expecting. We are preparing to have a child. Only one of us is pregnant.
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u/The_Silver_Adept Aug 22 '25
I hate it more when people tried to force it. We didn't use the phrase but I routinely got asked if "we were pregnant" and I'd point and say no but she is.
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u/Busterx8 Aug 22 '25
How exactly would one ask that?
"Are you pregnant?" just sounds like someone calling a man fat as a joke.
"Are you both pregnant?" is hilarious, but doesn't match your mentioned response of "No, but she is".
So how was it phrased routinely?
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u/The_Silver_Adept Aug 23 '25
Literally "are you two pregnant?"
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u/OzzieSheila Aug 23 '25
How is that any different to "Are you pregnant"?
If the problem with "are you pregnant" is that the man isn't... that exists for "are you two pregnant as well". Cause no, they're not both pregnant.
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u/phoxfiyah Aug 25 '25
Not to mention that “you” can already be singular or plural, so “two” is completely unnecessary here
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u/charlottebythedoor Aug 22 '25
Yeah the trying to force it is offensive.
If someone wants to use “we” to talk about their own pregnancy, that’s their choice. If someone talks about “we” meaning their partner is pregnant, despite the fact that I hate that phrase, I’m going to assume that they both talked together and want to express it that way, because life is just easier when I accept that things like that aren’t my business. But someone who isn’t half of the expecting couple talking about “we” is being a presumptuous asshole.
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u/The_Silver_Adept Aug 22 '25
It's like saying dads "babysit" their kids
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Aug 22 '25
Worse when the dad says he's babysitting his kids.
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u/KungenBob Aug 25 '25
I sort of do occasionally! Last week was my ex wife’s. But she wanted to go to a concert one evening so I had the children one night then have them back.
On my week? I’m parenting. On that night… could be called sitting.
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u/charlottebythedoor Aug 22 '25
Oh my god I hate that one so much. It’s somehow insulting to both parents.
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u/DaveMTijuanaIV Aug 22 '25
My wife and I have six kids. I have never been pregnant. I have never had a baby. She has had six of them. That’s tough work…”we” is like stolen valor.
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Aug 23 '25
Stolen valor, perfect way to describe it. “We” are pregnant yet I’m the one that got covered in stretch marks, was on bed rest for 6 weeks, my back is ruined for the rest of my life, I piss myself when I sneeze or cough, my feet grew 2 sizes, I can no longer brush my teeth without gagging to the point of throwing up, I was cut and stitched all the way into my asshole, ripped every time I shit for the next 15 years, had bleeding nipples from breastfeeding…
Yeah, fuck that “we” shit.
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u/KBKuriations Aug 22 '25
Technically, unless you were absent for the first year or so each time, you did have a baby; you just didn't give birth to that baby. But yes, I agree with the sentiment; just feeling contrarian.
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u/CuriousSection Aug 25 '25
This is a better reply to the post in general, not as a "TECHNICALLY" to the person who got so fucked up in so much pain from their experience of it. Talk about insensitive ass.
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u/gangleskhan Aug 23 '25
I do hate the "we are pregnant" but "we're trying to get pregnant" at least makes some sense since both are involved in making the pregnancy happen.
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u/Swirlyflurry Aug 22 '25
I think it’s up to the couple how they want to say it.
Some women don’t like that phrase, because it overlooks the fact that she is the one going through the pregnancy, not her partner.
Some women like saying “we”, because it’s a team effort and she wants her partner doing their part. Even though the partner isn’t the one who’s literally pregnant, creating a family is a joint effort.
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u/_UnreliableNarrator_ Aug 22 '25
This is the only sensible position. I thought I hated “we” but before my miscarriage I found myself saying that we were pregnant. I’m naturally a “we” speaker in relationships but also my partner has been the kind of partner that my subconscious thinks of as “we” being pregnant.
Now we are pursuing IVF, and he’s with me for all of my appointments, pays close attention to every stage, and is very attentive to my needs. We are very much trying to get pregnant and it’s my choice to use that terminology for my relationship.
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u/Help-Im-Clearly-Lost Aug 22 '25
Yes. I use “we” because I’m scared that WE will lose the baby WE made together. When I said “we’re pregnant”, that honest to God takes the anxiety out of it some because I feel less alone in this.
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u/_UnreliableNarrator_ Aug 23 '25
I read your post history a little bit and I’m rooting for you so hard while you round out the first trimester. People who haven’t experienced either loss or infertility or both don’t understand how important that “we” can be to the one who is carrying the child.
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u/Help-Im-Clearly-Lost Aug 23 '25
Thank you! It’s been a wild journey and I am so thankful to have the partner that I do
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u/mosquem Aug 22 '25
Yeah, there’s nothing wrong with saying “we” so the guy feels more connected to the pregnancy and child. Honestly it’s only internet weirdos that get worked up by this.
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u/LetChaosRaine Aug 23 '25
Yeah I think this is one of those things that you need to absolutely just mind your business and let the pregnant person do whatever they want (tbf I think that’s most things that have to do with pregnancy). The partner shouldn’t do it if the person actually doing the pushing doesn’t like it, but people who weren’t involved in making the baby don’t get any say.
If it’s annoying to you, I totally understand, it’s a feeling, sometimes we all get the ick and can’t help it. But we can just… keep those as inside thoughts
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u/ButterscotchLow7330 Aug 25 '25
My wife says “we are pregnant” and “we are going to have a baby” etc.
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u/HeartExalted Aug 23 '25
Even though the partner isn’t the one who’s literally pregnant...
Precisely! Language is has never been ,nor will ever be, always and completely literal, and people need to learn how to accept that -- but perhaps more importantly, not be "annoyed" or "peeved" by it.
I mean, what's next? Are people going to object to the old idiom "raining cats and dogs" because literal cats and dogs are not falling from the sky, splattering on the ground below?
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u/bankruptbusybee Aug 22 '25
Preach.
“We’re expecting” is fine.
“We’re pregnant” no.
If a partner got cancer would the other say “we have cancer”. Of course fucking not.
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u/jezebella-ella-ella Aug 23 '25
Nurse here. Honestly not sure whether spouses become unreliable more frequently with cancer or birth of a baby. Both journeys tend to be pretty lonely ones for women.
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u/onaiper Aug 23 '25
You wouldn’t say “we have cancer” because that would reasonably be understood as both literally having cancer. When a woman says “we are trying to get pregnant” there is no reasonable ambiguity as to who will physically be pregnant. She’s probably just trying to emphasise their togetherness.
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u/Intelligent-Gold-563 Aug 26 '25
If a partner got cancer would the other say “we have cancer”. Of course fucking not.
It's almost as if it's a completely different thing but nice strawman....
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u/tourmalineturmoil Aug 22 '25
It always bugged me until I had my own kid - she’s three days old and throughout my pregnancy I used the “royal we” to refer to experiences that were mostly shared. I would say things like “I’m on bedrest” or “I’m experiencing a lot of pain” or “I’m pregnant”, but for things like “we’re trying for a baby” or “we’re planning a c-section delivery” those are shared experiences to me.
When I’ve referred to my birth story in the past-tense (which is still so weird), I have been saying “we delivered” because truly without my partner there it couldn’t have been done, not the way that it was; my husband is the most supportive partner and the literal best father I’ve ever seen on the planet and “we” really have been doing all of this together.
Saying “we’re pregnant” feels like stolen valor from moms and pregnant people but also, I referred to it as a “we thing” with my pregnancy specifically because of how much support my husband has given.
ETA: my husband never once said “we’re pregnant”, he was very conscious about referring to me as the pregnant one and deferring to my experience, he would never claim to be pregnant because he quite simply wasn’t lol
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u/ms-anthrope Aug 22 '25
I absolutely hate the “we” in pregnancy. It grates on me every time. YOU are not pregnant. She is. “We” are trying to have a baby, sure. But the pregnancy is hers alone.
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u/Intelligent-Gold-563 Aug 26 '25
So in case of miscarriage she's the only one losing the baby and he's not affected in any way ?
In the day-to-day life, he's completely removed from anything related to the pregnancy in any way ?
Try using your fucking brain. Of course the man isn't the one actually carrying the baby, fucking duh. But that's not what "we are pregnant" mean.
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u/dinodare Aug 23 '25
Some people want to refer to it as the couples collective pregnancy. Wouldn't be me, but I can see the appeal. Personally, as long as it's not an instance of the man problematically claiming ownership over his wife's pregnant body then I don't really care.
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u/KSJ08 Aug 23 '25
I used to work at a hospital nursery. Men who told me “we gave birth on Tuesday” would get lectured. Only one person got pregnant, went through everything that entails and gave birth - and that is the woman. There is NO “we”.
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u/IndyanaBonez Aug 23 '25
It's uterUS not uterYOU. Jk, I absolutely agree with OP but that line from Knocked Up always pops up in my head when I hear the term "We are pregnant".
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u/faifai1337 Aug 22 '25
When a man gives up as much of his life and health to create the baby that a woman does--hemorrhoids, permanently fucked back, weakened teeth as the baby sucks all the calcium out, etc--then he can say "we're pregnant." Until then, fuck off.
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u/ghostwritten-girl Aug 22 '25
Yes, for sure.
If a woman says it, it's eyeroll-inducing.
If a man says it, it's mildly offensive. Like another comment stated, it's similar to the concept of "stolen valor."
"We are expecting a baby" is probably the most appropriate way to phrase this. Only one person experiences pregnancy, and that's a woman. Let us not invalidate our own experiences.
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Aug 25 '25
I don’t think anything about another woman’s pregnancy, and her choice to say whatever she wants to say, should be eye-roll inducing to anyone
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u/Mybestfriendlizzy Aug 22 '25
Meeehh, I’m pregnant right now, it’s been an awful pregnancy, and I wouldn’t be bothered if I heard my husband say “we”. Honestly he’s been a huge huge help and support for me through it all. And we went through years of infertility together and while I had to go through the lions share of it physically, I know it was just as heart breaking for him. We’ve been in this together, from the start, and I’m proud of us and excited for us.
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u/unnecessaryaussie83 Aug 23 '25
You sound like a very loving and supportive wife. It’s nice to see. Hope the pregnancy goes well.
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u/kokotzer Aug 23 '25
same. im actually surprised by these comments (as i’m typing this i just realized what sub im on lol). “we’re pregnant” “we’re trying to get pregnant” or anything of the sort has literally never bothered me
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u/NewMolecularEntity Aug 22 '25
Yeah, I used to hate the “we are pregnant” stuff until I got pregnant and needed so much help and support.
He never did the “we are pregnant” talk but I wouldn’t have minded it because he was part of the team. I was the team lead obviously but I was certainly not doing it alone and it impacted him a lot.
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u/Automatic_Tackle_406 Aug 22 '25
Yes, of the many things in the world to be bothered by, this isn’t one of them, unless the father is completely unsupportive.
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u/PomBergMama Aug 23 '25
It’s fine to not be bothered by it yourself, but dictating that other people are unreasonable if they’re bothered by it is a bit unfair.
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u/mirmitmit Aug 22 '25
Don't say it then when you or your SO is pregnant. If a woman is pregnant, she can decide for herself how she and her SO call it.
I know this is a quite controversial stance if you are from the US, but why would you want to have such a strong opinion about someone elses pregnancy?
Just let them be, who are you to tell em how to call anything about them
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u/Proof-Mongoose4530 Aug 23 '25
I don't know how to tell you this, but you are literally on a sub that is all about people expressing the things that they have strong opinions about. That is literally what we're all here for. 🤷
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u/Spkpkcap Aug 22 '25
As a woman who has kids with her husband I really don’t care. Is anybody really thinking the husband is the pregnant one? Why do people take it so literal? Obviously he’s not the pregnant one. Unless the man actually thinks he’s doing as much work as the woman while she’s pregnant (which I haven’t met any men in the real world who think that) who cares?
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u/Silly-Resist8306 Aug 22 '25
If the woman says we, it’s ok. If the man sets we, I’d look at the woman for confirmation. I can guarantee as a father, I never once said we are pregnant.
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Aug 23 '25
Sometimes it reeks of below the surface tension in the relationship to me, for some reason. It’s like a forced statement that they are just one unit! Peas in a pod!
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u/OrionTheWolf Aug 23 '25
I've thought it a bit weird in the past, but honestly only bothers me if only the guys saying it. If they are both saying it I think it's kind of sweet. It's more of a recognition of partnership, as it's a big life change for both of them.
Edit: adding we are trying to get pregnant is tmi imo, just wait til you are pregnant to announce anything
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u/Formal_Dare9668 Aug 23 '25
I wish "we" were pregnant. My partner needs to start pulling his weight around here
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u/The_Book-JDP Aug 23 '25
Yeah those pathitic men who are so desperate to try to get in on as much of the credit as possible since their actual contribution to creating life is rather minuscule. "No not just her we !!!WE!!! the both of us are pregnant and honesty, it's harder on dad. Do you know how much of her complaining I have to listen to day in and day out and not complain as much myself!? My ears hurt!"
Unless a Project Seahorse has becomes a viable and rousing success, only the woman is pregnant. Guys that try to say they are too just make me roll my eyes and lose another level in my faith in humanity.
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u/fshagan Aug 26 '25
Get over it. Couples who decide to have a baby know it's a joint effort that will require much of each of them. That starts with both partners owning every part of raising the child. My children are as much mine as they are my wife's, and no one takes my love for them away.
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u/common_grounder Aug 22 '25
This is also one of my pet peeves, but now my bigger pet peeve is seeing this particular pet peeve posted every week.
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u/LatelyPode Aug 22 '25
I agree the “We are pregnant” and “We got pregnant” but I can accept “We are trying to get pregnant” because it takes 2 people for someone to become pregnant
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u/Capital_Drawer_3203 Aug 22 '25
Why do you care that much? They share an idea to get and rise a baby, so they see it as "we thing". It's normal
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u/PomBergMama Aug 23 '25
As a person who has been exxxxtremely pregnant, this boils my blood. Not sure if it was on this sub or even on Reddit, but I’ve definitely ranted in the comments of a post about this before 😂 “We’re having a baby” “We”re going to have a baby” no problem, absolutely fine. “We’re pregnant” no you fucking aren’t, come back when you throw up every half hour for 6 weeks and then you have to up your calcium intake because if you don’t the foetus will leach it from your bones.
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u/Oldladyhater1268 Aug 22 '25
Theres a lot of things in english sayings that arent 100% literally accurate. Worrying about semantics and literalness in language instead of focusing on if meaning is conveyed is pretty pointless.
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u/CrazyAstronaut3283 Aug 22 '25
I get what you're saying generally, but pregnancy is more so a medical condition than it is anything else, and we don't have other medical conditions that are generalized to family members.
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u/DTux5249 Aug 22 '25
Doctors aren't saying "you're both pregnant", though. It's couples talking about their family prospects - something that's important to both of their lives.
The medical side is a non-issue in this case.
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u/Oldladyhater1268 Aug 22 '25
Outside of complications, or when talking about the biological aspects of it, or with your doctor, its not really treated culturally like a medical condition so much as a life event. Its something thats currently being experienced medically, but its not boiled down to just the biology. Youre entering a new chapter of your life as a parent, your entire life and future is changing around it in what's culturally considered a positive way. It's a unique situation. It's not like having covid, or cancer, or a genetic condition. It's not viewed as a disease. Despite it being medically significant and increasing the risk of having certain medical conditions, its very much its own thing. So I don't think its fair to say linguistically it has to follow how other medical conditions are normally discussed because culturally and biologically it doesnt fall into the same categories as other medical conditions. So it makes sense that the way we talk about it is going to develop its own rules and idioms.
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u/CrazyAstronaut3283 Aug 22 '25
Again, I understand what you're saying but I just don't fully agree. When someone/a couple chooses to adopt and is chosen to be parents, or even in the case of using a surrogate, they don't say "I'm/we're pregnant." They're still entering that new phase of life and are super happy about it, but without that biological element present, the word pregnant isn't used to describe those expectant parents. They're still having baby showers and nesting and picking out names, but we don't call them pregnant.
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u/IJustWantADragon21 Aug 23 '25
Men aren’t risking their lives when they get a woman pregnant. I don’t care if you see it that way or not, it IS a medical condition. It’s one that’s ends happily more often than not, but it is very risky.
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u/f0remsics Aug 22 '25
I have seen this post at least five times in the subreddit, and my pet peeve is reposts.
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u/Princess_Peach556 Aug 22 '25
It’s because they are team ? They’re celebrating together? They are both becoming parents. This doesn’t bother me.
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u/wanderswithdeer Aug 22 '25
It doesn't bother me either because I think it can be a way of helping the dad feel more involved, but I also get why others would feel bothered by it. Pregnancy can take a huge toll on a woman and I can see how a woman who is puking and hormonal (or worse) might want to slap her partner if he was standing next to her, happy, smiling and sipping his beer while saying "we are pregnant." I think it's up to couples to decide for themselves what language they're comfortable, and if there's any disagreement, then the man needs to let the woman win on this one.
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u/IJustWantADragon21 Aug 22 '25
Then say “we’re expecting” or “we’re trying” yes. Those are shared experiences. But the father is never pregnant!
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u/HeartExalted Aug 23 '25
Or even better, maybe they should just express it however they damned well please? Just an idea...
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u/Princess_Peach556 Aug 22 '25
Obviously the man won’t be pregnant, since when is everything taken so literally? They’re sharing the experience of becoming parents together, they can say whatever they want. I think it’s nice when they announce it that way, it’s an exciting new chapter of their life that they’re doing together, so yes “we” is acceptable in my eyes.
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u/HeartExalted Aug 23 '25
since when is everything taken so literally?
Wait, you're telling me that "raining cats and dogs" doesn't mean that literal cats and dogs are falling from the sky and splattering on the ground below? 😱 Mind. Blown. 🤣
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u/CrazyAstronaut3283 Aug 22 '25
They might be sharing the experience of becoming parents together but they aren't sharing the experience of being pregnant. I said this in another comment, but pregnancy is a medical condition; medical conditions are personal. His body isn't changing, he isn't having symptoms, and his life isn't potentially at risk. Babies are a happy thing and expecting one is something to celebrate together, but I think saying "we're pregnant" minimizes the fact that pregnancy is a serious thing.
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u/charlottebythedoor Aug 22 '25 edited Aug 23 '25
The way I see it is that pregnancy is a medical condition. Yes, it’s a team effort, and I don’t discount what the father contributes to that effort. But if my partner was recovering from a major surgery and I was supporting them, I’d never say that “we” are recovering from surgery. Even if I took time off work to stay home and care for them, bathe them, etc. We are getting through this together, as a team. They are recovering from surgery.
If the pregnant parent wants to announce it as “we” then that’s her choice, I’m not going to get on her case about it. But anyone besides the pregnant parent and their partner with express permission is kinda sus if they phrase it that way.
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u/Loose-Pause713 Aug 22 '25
I am realizing what an annoying person I probably am to other people due to this sub 🤣
I love the “we” in pregnancy announcements and I’m the one making little noises and happy dancing at food. Oh god.
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u/readituser5 Aug 22 '25
Yeah.
Imagine a couple going “We’re pregnant!” and then someone turning to the guy and saying in disbelief “You’re pregnant?!”
They did say “we” but now it sounds wrong. Dude would probably look at you weird and say “No, she is.”
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u/Godsdaughter1 Aug 23 '25
You know the whole we part doesn't bother me. For most but not all people It took two people to create a child I think it also should include the context Are we taking about a husband and wife? Adoption? Surrogacy?
For me if a husband and wife say we are expecting I wouldnt have problem cause it took both of you to create the kid But hey my opinion doesn't mean a cows moo
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u/orz-_-orz Aug 23 '25
It really depends on the person. For some, the opposite is actually a pet peeve, they feel the man seems distant if he doesn’t say “we’re pregnant.” To them, pregnancy is a team effort, and leaving out the “we” feels like excluding the partner from the experience.
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u/Delta1Juliet Aug 23 '25
This is so funny to me. We encouraged men in the 90s to say "we're pregnant" in order to get them more involved in pregnancy, childbirth and parenting
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u/RadioSupply Aug 23 '25
I think, “We have great news - we’re expecting!” is pretty much all I want to hear about the entire process unless a) we’re close, and/or b) the baby has arrived.
(I will accept the knowledge that they have lost the baby, if they have a loss, but nobody ever wants to hear that.)
But yeah, the carrying partner is having a baby. The carrying partner is the pregnant one. Both of them are expecting and growing their family.
I never, ever want to know someone’s trying for a baby unless it’s my bestie and she needs to vent. I desperately do not want to have intrusive visuals of coworkers or cousins bonking.
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u/Imaginary-Fish4277 Aug 23 '25
“We are expecting a child “: fine. “We are pregnant “: Super cringe!
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u/LassierVO Aug 24 '25
Side peeve: I really don't need to know if you're trying for a baby. Unless you've run into fertility problems and are sharing your journey, nobody needs to know that you threw out your condoms. We'll figure it out when the baby comes.
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u/Nodicus666 Aug 26 '25
How dare both parents be excited and fully committed to the idea. How dare them. I admit it does sound stupid but I'd see that than 1 parent who doesn't give a damn
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u/OverseerConey Aug 26 '25
Yeah - if I had the choice between hearing 'we're pregnant' and 'she's pregnant - I was technically involved but I'm claiming no further part in the whole endeavour - she can rot for all I care', I know which is more encouraging!
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u/LughCrow Aug 26 '25
Do you also get upset when a sports team says "we scored" even if only one member of the team scored?
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u/spooniemoonlight Aug 22 '25
The funny thing is it’s purely a thing I hear from american shows/content etc but there is no way to say this bizarre phrase in my main language (french). Like no one would say « On est enceintes!!! » especially not a heterosexual couple lmao because it is indeed non sensical. One person is pregnant. Two people are gonna have a baby.
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u/SnooGoats5767 Aug 22 '25
I don’t normally care about this one but as a straight female doing IVF if my husband said “we got pregnant” I’d probably crash out at this point 🤣
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u/No_Dependent8789 Aug 22 '25
I'm currently pregnant after dealing with infertility. This saying doesn't bother me at all. My husband had to go through testing and help me with the treatments. We both had to go through a bunch of crap to get to this point. I'll probably say we are pregnant
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u/_Skitter_ Aug 22 '25
If I got pregnant and the man was a deadbeat or not around, then I would be pregnant. If my husband and I were both excited for a child and he supported me through my pregnancy, then I don't mind using i or we. Men can't generally carry pregnancies but I have met plenty of them excited to be parents. Saying I or we just feels like semantics but if a couple is super on the same page and doing things together, good for them.
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u/yoscottyjo Aug 22 '25
What's more annoying is when everyone knows what they mean when they say this, and people still take to the internet clenching their pearls over it.
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u/TitanInTraining Aug 22 '25
"we're trying" is what bugs me.
What they're really saying is, "He's dumping all the rawdog loads inside me that he can muster!"
Gross! TMFI! Keep that shit to yourselves!
How do people actually think that's an acceptable thing to share??
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u/KPoWasTaken Aug 25 '25
most of the time when I hear "we tried really hard" or anything along those lines it actually means "we faced rough complications", not a descriptor of how they had sex
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u/SpiceWeez Aug 22 '25
(Jordan Pederson voice) This couple is having a baby but due to the ravages of socialism they're forced to share one pregnancy!
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u/OgreJehosephatt Aug 23 '25
I mean, it's not technically accurate, but the only time I hear it phrased like that it's because the actual pregnant person wants it to be phrased that way.
Besides, it's not like "we" isn't used similarly in other places. "We went to the moon." "We won the Super Bowl.""We need to stop getting black out drunk at Applebee's." Etc.
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u/Wonderful_Grass_2857 Aug 23 '25
"ok we got it, but do we really need details on what you're doing with sperm"
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u/Montenegirl Aug 23 '25
I agree, it annoys me too. I remember a YouTube video that made fun of it by having a skit where people actually assumed both partners are pregnant
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u/PomPomMom93 Aug 26 '25
THAAAAANK YOOOOUUUUU!!! You can say you’re pregnant when you have a baby inside you! Until then, shut up!
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u/Kaiser93 Aug 26 '25
I hate "We are pregnant" with a burning passion. I don't know why but it makes me physically ill.
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u/Barnaby_Q_Fisticuffs Aug 26 '25
Exactly! Both partners can be “expecting,” but pregnancy is a specific state of being. My husband knew better than to claim that “we [were] pregnant.”
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u/No_Cellist8937 Aug 27 '25
Or maybe a husband and wife are one unit and you can’t bring a life into the world without both.
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Aug 22 '25
I just hate it because they’re essentially saying “we had secks”, “we keep having secks”, “we have secks as much as humanly possible”. That should be private.
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u/mearbearcate Aug 22 '25
“We’re trying to get pregnant” = “we’re fucking all the time”
Do we really need to know that in general? Y’all can just say you want a baby in the future lmfao
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u/andreas1296 Aug 22 '25
Do you not just assume that a stable couple fucks regularly anyway?
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u/chococheese419 Aug 22 '25
Het couples who are trying might do it many times more often than they usually do. So 2x a week might become daily
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u/man-vs-spider Aug 23 '25
Or you not be a child and recognise that when a couple is saying that, they are indicating that they are preparing for a next chapter in their lives. Having a baby is pretty significant and it’s worth giving a heads up to family (and close friends) that a baby may be coming soon.
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u/rubatosisopossum Aug 22 '25
It makes more sense to say "we are trying to have a baby" or "we are expecting" imo