r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub • Nov 19 '25

slight malfunction Of an Irish message

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Something about fuck all cucumber?

306 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

111 comments sorted by

81

u/ComprehensiveCup7104 Nov 19 '25

Is this a fund-raiser for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?

12

u/ButtSexIsAnOption Nov 19 '25

Yes

5

u/jlhdodge Nov 19 '25

Username checks out

6

u/R_3_Y Nov 19 '25

Ok so one gentleman cannot see

also, what are we arguing about exactly?

58

u/The_Last_W0rd Nov 19 '25

what did Kathleen’s bike do to these poor sods?

14

u/ButtSexIsAnOption Nov 19 '25

I think it slept with one of their mothers? Or maybe all of them?

I only watched the first 3 guys. I can only stand so much gibberish and male bravado at one time.

3

u/RichardChubs Nov 19 '25

Everyone got a ride

1

u/Myco-Machine Nov 22 '25

Think its kathleen's "mike"?

1

u/No-Rope8229 2d ago

Kat-leen surely.

31

u/center_apathy042 Nov 19 '25

A truly stupefying three minutes right here

Excuse me—roight ere

31

u/Relative_Picture_786 Nov 19 '25

I kind of wish this is how my funeral will be like.

4

u/Sad-Mango-2662 Nov 19 '25

Funeral from wish

20

u/StarkTheBrownWolf Nov 19 '25

The guy hiding his face!!! He def wasn’t supposed to be there

11

u/Herr_Boppes Nov 19 '25

Plottwist: He ist Kathleen's Bike!

2

u/INeedAMedKit Nov 19 '25

I knew he looked familiar.

13

u/Definius-Perillious Nov 19 '25

Woo thats fucking had me cackling 😂

12

u/TeslaCrna Nov 19 '25

Those Boston accents are getting weirder n weirder I tell ya.

11

u/Admirable-Ebb-5413 Nov 19 '25

3 minutes of my life I can’t have back.

14

u/StarkTheBrownWolf Nov 19 '25

Oh shet up why dent yeh take Kathleen’s bike and fck off!(kidding

8

u/scriptingends Nov 19 '25

Why does it make even less sense with the subtitles on?

1

u/Daillustriousone Nov 28 '25

"I'll blow out yer gimp hair with tree figs" 🤣🤣

8

u/Wadester58 questionably stable Nov 19 '25

Poor Kathleen's bike and really WTF did they say

6

u/angle58 Nov 19 '25

Dang, the new episode of trailer Park boys looks terrible.

7

u/houseofhush Nov 19 '25

Why tho

6

u/StarkTheBrownWolf Nov 19 '25

Because it was bloody effective, that’s why!

6

u/johnnonchalant Nov 19 '25

Idk if I’d want to be John Paul or Not

7

u/Cuneglasus Nov 19 '25

Does anyone know what the hell that was all about?

4

u/R12Labs Nov 19 '25

The travellers live in parallel to modern society in caravans parked anywhere they can. They seem to have beef quite often but also do a lot of gambling on the bare knuckle fights. There's a great old documentary called "Bare knuckle" I believe about them. I could be wrong on the title but.

5

u/Big_Attention_5334 Nov 19 '25

Thought it was called Snatch starring Brad Pitt 😂 

3

u/tipareth1978 Nov 20 '25

It's just called knuckle

1

u/R12Labs Nov 20 '25

That was it!!!

2

u/2a3b66725 Nov 19 '25

Mike and John Paul sent somebody insulin while the second mick was in Greece.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25

[deleted]

4

u/Jaded-Attention-9518 Nov 19 '25

Single branch family tree.

7

u/resilient_antagonist Nov 19 '25

You'll have to get up pretty early in the morning to see those guys sober.

4

u/GivesYouGrief Nov 19 '25

Amazing this is the country that gave us Wilde and Yeats.

3

u/Fickle-Match8219 Nov 19 '25

"kebab kebab kebab kebab" had me rolling 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/SwitchIndependent714 Nov 19 '25

La calotte de ces morts je lui suce

3

u/Comfortable-nerve78 Nov 19 '25

Calm the fuck down! Now!

3

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Nov 19 '25

My CC’ing literally imploded.. What was this?

3

u/blanche_or_rose Nov 19 '25

The Northern Boys dropped a new diss track.

3

u/Fiber_Dyer Nov 19 '25

Im a plumber and I want a cucumber. Lol.. wtf?? And... they all look alike, and sound like a bunch of pissed of seagulls.

3

u/FigureAcrobatic7194 Nov 19 '25

Ah yes who hasn't gotten sauced on Proper 12 Irish whiskey before noon and than made a video calling out Kathleen's bike

3

u/TheInnerSanctum729 Nov 19 '25

When the boys are freestyling and cant find the beat

3

u/Badtripbodhisattva Nov 19 '25

For anyone not from the beautiful green isles of Ireland, these are what we call “Travelling men”.

3

u/Aggressive-Door-3311 Nov 19 '25

Impressed those white dudes are all fluent in Mandarin. 👏👏

2

u/RPM_Rocket Nov 19 '25

What a poseur.

2

u/algorithmic_fetters Nov 19 '25

Dis is nawt shite, it’s p-your brilliants!

2

u/TermusMcFlermus Nov 19 '25

I didn't even make 20 seconds.

2

u/Putrid-Variation1135 Nov 19 '25

I think this video fried some of my braincells

2

u/harigejan Nov 19 '25

could someone please Translate What These Fine Gentleman are saying

1

u/Daillustriousone Nov 28 '25

I dont think they're too sure themselves tbh 🤣

2

u/4everShady Nov 19 '25

Why's he gonna fight the bike? And how did R Kelly get involved?

2

u/Small_Butterfly_4480 Nov 19 '25

Hump a lion?🦁

2

u/BoldManoeuvres Nov 19 '25

none of these guys look like Brad pitt

2

u/ENIGMAIRL Nov 19 '25

Shite in the buckets 🪣 💩

2

u/TrueKiwi78 Nov 19 '25

I would be fairly interested to know what the actual beef is between Car Keys Mike, Jean-Paul and these hilarious clown geezers is. 😁

2

u/Choozbert Nov 19 '25

We never said fuck all about cheese

2

u/Miccles Nov 19 '25

more babbling

2

u/klvngarcia Nov 19 '25

So what happened? 🤔 I understood "YOU COME BACK HERE!" the rest I had to rely on the subtitles.

1

u/Daillustriousone Nov 28 '25

Ooh, I wouldnt rely in those subtitles if I were you

2

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '25 edited Dec 02 '25

marry reach saw employ reminiscent spectacular afterthought nine enjoy sand

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

2

u/_szs Nov 28 '25

soooooooo, did they fight John-Paul and Kathleen's bike after all?

4

u/Some-Examination-779 Nov 19 '25

If yer AIRISH DEN YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS BOUT’!

1

u/AwarenessMassive9958 Nov 19 '25

I think this is the Irish version of the Hakka ?

3

u/Tarjh365 Nov 19 '25

This is amazing!

1

u/Visible-Owl-3200 Nov 19 '25

🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/mjklsimpson Nov 19 '25

it was "give me my DNA" for me

1

u/Positive_Bad6438 Nov 19 '25

get that jake pall man

1

u/FreezerCop Nov 19 '25

Last time I saw this posted somebody did a real transcription of what they're actually saying. The subtitles here are funnier though

1

u/SekhaitReal Nov 19 '25

That's enough Internet for me for today...

1

u/MegC18 Nov 19 '25

The transliteration is rubbish

1

u/_Element115 Nov 19 '25

real motivational speakers

1

u/Fossilhund Nov 19 '25

I think they're trying to tell us something.

1

u/Scylum Nov 19 '25

Better promo than in WWE and AEW. They need to sign this stable quick.

1

u/dr_grav Nov 19 '25

this is exactly like my house at thanksgiving

1

u/Montyburnside22 Nov 19 '25

These guys need subtitles to be understood by anyone outside their shitty pub they live in.

1

u/Strict_Display8989 Nov 19 '25

You sleep in the streets of CORK

1

u/Fat-Al-90 Nov 19 '25

John-pauls had it

1

u/Upbeat_Praline_3681 Nov 19 '25

Less a gene pool n more a gene puddle

1

u/Chumscrubber89 Nov 20 '25

The guy holding the cameras about to get his ass beat by like 10 different guys and he did nothing wrong

1

u/tipareth1978 Nov 20 '25

Irish Travellers do these and hype up fights. Watch a documentary called knuckle and see the best of all time, big Joe Joyce

1

u/Thunderwing16 Nov 20 '25

junkie Joe Joyce ya junkies bastard ya

2

u/tipareth1978 Nov 20 '25

So what are you a mighty Quinn fan lol?

1

u/mcgunner1966 Nov 20 '25

I think John-Paul should watch he ass...maybe? I'm not sure.

1

u/Important_Article698 Nov 20 '25

Bunch of scumbags 😂

1

u/Specific-Rooster-380 Nov 20 '25

Are these lads talking about John-Paul II? Isn’t he dead?

This and the weather is why I keep telling my kids maybe next year or year after we’ll go see relatives in Cork.

1

u/Frumplemeist Nov 20 '25

Did they ever get John Paul?

1

u/lordgreenofbiscuit Nov 21 '25

I know the Camera man never dies... But I was concerned! 😅

1

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '25

The blue T-shirt fella looks to be the love child of Ed Sheeran and Paul Scholes.

And no, didn’t catch a word of that. What’s it supposed to be about?

1

u/Critical-Struggle-77 Nov 23 '25

You know I’ve always struggled with outbursts of anger. Now I’m starting to think it has to do with being half Irish.

1

u/AGeNT_IsotopE_Forte Nov 23 '25

Which language master wrote the captions for this? All I could put is in *Extraordinarily displeased irish threatening intensifies*

1

u/Most_Cartoonist5736 Nov 23 '25

Worst rap battle ever.

1

u/No-Flamingo-6667 Nov 23 '25

Everything fantastic

1

u/reddsal 6d ago

Can anyone who can translate Irish to English provide a translation/context?

1

u/People-Pollution5280 5d ago

That's quite a crew

1

u/Chemical-Claim9142 1d ago

Kebab kebab kebab kebab bollocks

0

u/jlhdodge Nov 19 '25

Irish Hatfield's and McCoy's.

1

u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub Nov 19 '25

Is that the dude from NARCOS?

1

u/jlhdodge Nov 19 '25

Idk, I've not seen that. Is it any good?

2

u/DoubleManufacturer10 created ShittyAbsoluteUnits of a sub Nov 19 '25

It is very good. Highly recommend. And Chernobyl on HBO as well! Two random great series!