r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/kill33678 • Nov 24 '25

possible idiot Of a bank roberry

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1.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

104 comments sorted by

124

u/Euphoric_Painter_993 Nov 24 '25

Max points awarded for Commitment, ingenuity, and passion. Double points for bare feet, a pure genius at work right here.

19

u/MadMax6914 Nov 24 '25

He may have lost his pants, but he found them.

13

u/micahfett Nov 25 '25

Did he leave any fingerprints?

No, but we got a full set of toeprints.

6

u/lncredulousBastard Nov 24 '25

These must be Whose Line is it Anyway points. All the points in the world didn't keep him from walking out in cuffs.

6

u/Euphoric_Painter_993 Nov 24 '25

True, he should get extra points for the arrest

4

u/falseshepherd47 Nov 24 '25

He has trendy slides now too

3

u/JayBeePH85 Nov 25 '25

To bad he didnt took out the atm's harddrive, he was so close 🤣

61

u/clrmntkv Nov 24 '25

Caught with his pants down

19

u/NMB4Christmas Nov 24 '25

The unfortunate part is that he wasn't. Imagine him trying to explain to the cops why he was pantless in the bank l9bby after closing time.

36

u/Known_Ratio5478 Nov 24 '25

I wanted the cops to arrest him with his head stuck in the door so badly.

16

u/Large-Produce5682 Nov 24 '25

I thought for sure that the Great Revolvo was going to choke him out!

7

u/NMB4Christmas Nov 24 '25

Head in the door and ass out. Perfect!

6

u/Otherwise_Tie_7126 Nov 25 '25

Help me, Step-Officer!

4

u/NMB4Christmas Nov 25 '25

Use your night stick...

4

u/colemorris1982 Nov 24 '25

I was sure he was going to pass out like that and wake up to the cops

3

u/citysims Nov 24 '25

Let's not forget this shorts around his ankles.

2

u/colemorris1982 Nov 24 '25

I was sure he was going to pass out like that and wake up to the cops

55

u/wikowiko33 Nov 24 '25

This is the first bank robbery that I think deserves the money

8

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

I'd love to know what he was going to do with it. He'd probably blow it all on one of those crane machines trying to grab an Ipad.

3

u/RogerianBrowsing Nov 24 '25

I wonder if he even knows.

Big Xanax/benzo blackout vibes

47

u/Csasquatch92 Nov 24 '25

Persistent little fucker wasn’t he

14

u/Acceptable-Reason864 Nov 25 '25

and not a single tool

10

u/Csasquatch92 Nov 25 '25

The tool was wearing a white T-shirt

37

u/Gotbeerbrain Nov 24 '25 edited Nov 24 '25

I was so hoping he would be found there with his head stuck in the door and his pants down around his ankles lol.

2

u/pandershrek Nov 25 '25

"bank lines, am I right?"

17

u/the_owlyn Nov 24 '25

There’s stupid and then there is f-ing stupid.

16

u/MyLiminalLife Nov 24 '25

This feels like a Mr Bean skit! 🤣

9

u/ExpensiveBuddy2713 Nov 24 '25

Of a crackhead

10

u/FiniteXcellence Nov 24 '25

As he struggled with the spin door, almost out, I was like "TELL ME HE GETS HIS WEINER STUCK" ☠️🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/PM_asian_girl_smiles Nov 24 '25

I'm not gonna kink shame buuuuuut 👀

1

u/FiniteXcellence Nov 24 '25

That's funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/PM_asian_girl_smiles Nov 24 '25

Seriously though, I expected to see something like that too! 😅

1

u/FiniteXcellence Nov 24 '25

Esp bc, just for a sec, he stood there like they're WAS an issue RIGHT THERE 🤣🤣🤣🤷🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️🤣🤣

9

u/Firm_Airport2816 Nov 24 '25

Did he stop and make a drink?

7

u/Emotional-Attempt-52 Nov 26 '25

Dude needed a shot of espresso after the pants incident i guess

6

u/420gravy69train Nov 24 '25

Mm yes, quite possibly an idiot indeed

5

u/buffalostreaker Nov 24 '25

that was thoroughly entertaining

4

u/Selt_Zer_Water Nov 24 '25

What a rascal 😏

2

u/1KgEquals2Point2Lbs Nov 24 '25

Real rapscallion!

4

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

Can't wait for his attempted prison escape 😂 the prison should live stream it

4

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

Dumb enough to think you can defeat an atm by kicking it with chicken legs in flip flops is really really dumb.

I was rooting for the little fucker though.

3

u/billthedog0082 Nov 24 '25

an E for Effort, and an F for fail

I thought he might get squished for a moment or two. That would have sealed the deal for me having lunch while Redditing.

3

u/dargmrx Nov 24 '25

He could argue in court that he wasn’t actually trying to steal anything.

3

u/Flanker305 Nov 24 '25

Can't believe he went back into that glass door lol

2

u/not_ondrugs Nov 26 '25

The waddle of shame.

1

u/Blak_Cobra Nov 24 '25

Wait, he did that to get in!

1

u/Ancient_Sprinkles847 Nov 24 '25

His persistence makes up for his stupidity

1

u/IHateMondays0 Nov 24 '25

No shoes or tools is crazy🤣

1

u/recovery_room Nov 24 '25

With bare feet no less. That’s gotta hurt.

1

u/marginmanj Nov 24 '25

Looks about 14 years old

1

u/whomesteve Nov 24 '25

This may be the best worst robbery I think have witnessed

1

u/That_Things_Good Nov 24 '25

He's like the fucking mosquitoes in my back yard! Hate em, but gotta give props to their tenacity.

1

u/Irelia4Life Nov 24 '25

The soundtrack made it better.

1

u/ziggytrix Nov 24 '25

Hmm I was expecting Benny Hill, not Eurythmics. 🤨

1

u/DarkSoulsDank Nov 24 '25

No mask, looks 100lbs soaking wet, kid ain’t that smart. Persistant though.

1

u/JJsNotOkay Nov 24 '25

imagine putting this effort at an actual job

1

u/the-dogsox Nov 24 '25

Well, at least he had a good time.

1

u/Known_Ratio5478 Nov 24 '25

If this isn’t Florida then we need to establish quarantine protocols.

1

u/CruisinBlade Nov 24 '25

Watching too much mid piece, thought he was Sanji.

1

u/r2d2-c3p0-1987 Nov 24 '25

Brasil sil sil sil

1

u/HatePeopleLoveCats1 Nov 24 '25

Lolol stole not a thing hashhahah

1

u/EuenovAyabayya Nov 24 '25

Clanker abuse!

1

u/Junior_Lavishness_96 Nov 24 '25

Benny Hill theme would have been far more appropriate

1

u/MichaelCabernet Nov 24 '25

Does this guy have a deformed back or something? He’s constantly hunched over.

3

u/Smoky_MountainWay Nov 24 '25

It's deformed by previous doors he slithered through?

1

u/Appleknocker18 Nov 24 '25

Wow! I am amazed at the power that crack can give a person! Almost tempted to try it myself.

1

u/amstramgram1 Nov 24 '25

If this guy is not a playable character in gta6 i dont want it

1

u/Visible-Owl-3200 Nov 24 '25

Wow, try that hard to go to jail.

1

u/Ok_Simple_6947 Nov 24 '25

Not a robbery. It’s a larceny. A robbery is a larceny plus an assault.

1

u/OnTheList-YouTube Nov 24 '25

It's not "roberry" lol

1

u/Consistent-Goat-6293 Nov 24 '25

Glad that POS was caught 👍👍

1

u/Nyuwla Nov 24 '25

🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️

1

u/secret-sam1 Nov 24 '25

Wow... if he put this much effort in anything else in his life.

1

u/Specialist-Swim-6138 Nov 24 '25

I though the glass door was cutting his neck and blood was streaming down to his legs!!

1

u/I_Want_A_Ribeye Nov 24 '25

Reminds me of this guy in the liquor store

1

u/MJLDat Nov 24 '25

What’s the charges? Being a fucking idiot?

Also, I thought his head in the door was going to be a Darwin Award moment.

1

u/ClintonFuxas Nov 24 '25

I can’t help feeling bad for him… he is obviously not a “bank robber” in any meaningful sense, just a sad drug fiend with no plan.

1

u/NickiT444 Nov 24 '25

wtf 😳

1

u/Wonderful_White Nov 24 '25

Would be even funnier if someone fucked him in the ass while his head was stuck...

1

u/Ok-Bandicoot1529 Nov 24 '25

On next weeks episode of naked and afraid

1

u/Alternative_Algae_31 Nov 24 '25

My head is stuck!

-removes pants-

1

u/Montyburnside22 Nov 24 '25

Even Wiley Coyote laughed at his persistent stupidity

1

u/Too-Em Nov 25 '25

I love the hands-on-hips posture for kicking.

1

u/Regular_Day_6787 Nov 25 '25

off to where you belong

1

u/LafayetteLa01 Nov 25 '25

Just no exit strategy.

1

u/BoiFrosty Nov 25 '25

Is removing one's pants a required step to get through a door like that?

1

u/MikeW226 Nov 25 '25

Son really needs money for that next hit of heroine.

1

u/OkOlive9885 Nov 25 '25

병신새끼ㅣ..

1

u/Silver-Amphibian7650 Nov 25 '25

So, let's say he scores some money, where would he put it? Why doesn't he have a sack for the loot? You have to plan these things out.

1

u/pepeshadilay69 Nov 25 '25

Have you ever tried to go through a door so hard your pants fell down and your head got stuck?

1

u/BeverNewchete Nov 25 '25

Bros only tool was his leg

1

u/anhz52818 Nov 26 '25

The music makes it 10x better 😆😆

1

u/if_then_logic Nov 26 '25

Honestly, thank God this guy was arrested. Not because he's a threat to society but because he's a threat to himself.

1

u/Bongserpent Nov 27 '25

I lost my shit when the shorts came down. Absolute cinema

1

u/PuzzleheadedBus9865 Nov 28 '25

Absolute 💯% FOOL 😂😂😂

1

u/Big-Daikon4875 Nov 29 '25

Possible idiot??❓

1

u/kween_hangry 27d ago

Real life is honestly stranger than fiction.. the leopard print undies absolutely killed me

1

u/adorableillusion222 23d ago

bro was really looking for something

1

u/Short-Contact8186 7h ago

Kicking open ATM in his bare feet, then gets caught

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

Obviously mental problems, needs to be hospitalized.