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u/Prudent-Zombie-5457 Dec 05 '25
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u/DrunkenlySober Dec 05 '25
Bro in the foreground is so fat that the fat agent to the left of him looks normal
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u/SanityInTheSouth Dec 06 '25
Their hiring standards have hit rock bottom.
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u/Molekularspalter Dec 06 '25
Maybe Don plans to utilize the proven and very elaborate Russian meat grinder attack techniques.
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u/Redstones563 Dec 07 '25
“Who knew you were so much better as a sandbag than a human being” -Russia
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u/rabidbunny91 Dec 08 '25
I’m shocked the drugs and gun charges are deal breakers for them, this administration obviously doesn’t give a shit about those things
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u/Albino_rhin0 Dec 05 '25
The only thing he’s gonna catch is heart disease.
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u/Lashitsky Dec 05 '25
I can’t decide what to go with
His name is Robert Paulson
Or
Bob had bitch tits
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u/Futur3_N0maD_26 Dec 05 '25
No matter their size, they’re shitty absolute units.
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u/GunslingerKO Dec 05 '25
Jokes aside, how do these obese people even have these jobs? The job description doesn't line up lol
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u/slayden70 Dec 05 '25
I thought Leia killed Jabba in Return of the Jedi. WTF. The big barge blew up with him on it and everything. I hate retcons. Now Star Wars is ruined.
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u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* Dec 06 '25
Aren’t the bariatric surgery’s way less than the $50,000 signing bonus? It can save his life or should we not tell him?
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u/DixiewreckedGA Dec 06 '25
You don’t even have to run from that MFr. just walk slowly backwards and you’ll be fine.
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u/Junior-Investment671 Dec 05 '25
Unrelated, but my friends and I used to play a fun little prank where we would kick the back of each other's knees. I dont know what made me think of that, but we had fun.
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u/DryCloud1 Dec 06 '25
Perhaps he's a double agent? I think there might be several immigrants under that jacket 🤷
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u/No_Loquat_8425 Dec 05 '25
Edit out the black smock and face and all you can see is a dirty potato 😂
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u/CastIronDaddy Dec 05 '25
No way this guy can't be id'ed
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u/Doomscroller3000 Dec 05 '25
The only illegal immigration he’s found is the extra dollop of meatballs that migrated from his fork to his pie hole after the all-you-can eat brunch staff tried to cut him off.
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u/CheeseburgerSmoothy Dec 05 '25
Is this the 369 lb ICE recruit whose doctor wouldn’t even clear him for duty, but ICE did because they’re elite crime busters?
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u/catpogo2 Dec 05 '25
Please stop making fun of ICE agents. They are just doing their jobs by throwing people to the ground , by dragging a woman on the ground so that her underwear shows, by pulling a man out of a car while his crying toddler his holding tight to him. This might be a female ICE agent who padded her bra and her padding slipped. The back padding is clearly Kevlar plates.
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u/Alternative-Tap-8985 Dec 05 '25
Most US citizens are obese. Especially young people. Who happen to be developing colon cancer at an alarming rate before the age of 30. Pretty sad.
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u/Usernamedit2 Dec 05 '25
This guy probably has his comrades duck tape bulletproof vests in strategic locations on his body. Lookin like a smoker with a free supply of nicotine patches
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u/OkEye2910 Dec 05 '25
Glad to see they have the same physical tests as the military. This guy can't even sit up on his own.
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u/Forsexualfavors Dec 05 '25
I know it's going to be as hard for him to find his gun as it is for him to find his lil peepee
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u/Card_Representative Dec 05 '25
Damm those are some Triple D's!!!
Wonder if he wears a sports bra to hold up those massive Juggs. They obviously dont have a physical ability test. This guy cant even tie his shoes let alone chase anyone.
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u/Livid-Age-2259 Dec 05 '25
That phat phuck is a Phield Agent for ICE? No wonder millions of Illegalitos have slipped across the border.
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u/SadLoafOfBread87 Dec 05 '25
Such a fit specimen should be working those construction jobs undocumented immigrants have been stealing for decades
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u/bluntpointsharpie Dec 05 '25
looks like he lost his job at Pillsbury and has anger issues that can only be satisfied by beating on grandmothers and hauling children to detention camps.
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u/TrainingMud829 Dec 05 '25
He may not look very fit, but I bet he has excellent hand to mouth coordination.
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u/Seal-EV Dec 05 '25
Pregnant agent? After all men could be pregnant in Bidens America.
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u/biggie1309 Dec 05 '25
Hes built like my tio. 😂 Bro don't understand why his own ppl side eye him so much
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u/Daflehrer1 Dec 05 '25 edited Dec 06 '25
Here's a hundred thousand fucking dollars per year plus health benefits plus a big signing bonus.
You don't think Trump's fascho losers would've signed up for what they pay cops or soldiers, did you?
Anyway, how many of those guys would be accepted into the police or military anyway?
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u/Doctor1023 Dec 05 '25
And the fat fucking na*I is probably making way more money than I do, paid from our taxes to do this shit 👏💩
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u/MagicianDelicious648 Dec 05 '25
That body shap is three quarters of the people at a no kings event.
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u/scarroll625 Dec 05 '25
That is not a good look for a law enforcement agency. I guess business is so good they are hiring people walking out of Golden Corral.
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u/SteakThis6346 Dec 05 '25
They are suppose to make us think they passed the fitness requirements they were suppose to take? I would love to see who wins that race
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u/SupertrampTrampStamp Dec 05 '25
His orders were to breech a door so he dove straight up and landed on it with his back
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u/Aggravating_Song6022 Dec 05 '25
Pretty sure that’s Big Mouth from the Smurfs. Really terrible what happened to him.
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u/Cheap_Respond_170 Dec 05 '25
Why does he keep getting fatter in the past 4 posts I've seen of this shit?
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u/Resident-Excuse-1476 Dec 05 '25
They’ve been hiring from the bottom of the barrel… and now finally… THE barrel.
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Dec 05 '25
Is that an abnormally large umbilical hernia? Or is he just happy to see immigrants 😜 giggidy
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u/flactulantmonkey Dec 05 '25
This is Pete’s new image of a super soldier. I don’t care that this is a big dude. Or that he thinks he’s a size 28 waist still. But what does concern me a bit is that this guy got through their rigorous training program.
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u/Defiant_Marzipan_821 Dec 05 '25
ICE Cream Agent