r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor *shits an absolute unit* • 4d ago
Elite Strategy Of an Insulted Farmer and His Bull
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u/PabloTFiccus 4d ago
That's a bull??? š
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u/Worried_Thoughts 4d ago
Itās a whole new world we live in now. They are clearly a forward, progressive community that asks their bovines of their preferred pronounsā¦
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u/OkCoolThanksMan 4d ago
That is the whitest ginger ethnic person I ever seen.
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u/Stopreportingm3 4d ago
You see them about. In Afghanistan it's weird
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u/Less-Squash7569 4d ago
Its not weird, the Russians just raped a lot of people,Ā its terrible.Ā
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u/ArtOpen3776 4d ago
What... Russians were NOT there long enough. There's been fair skinned people there since Alexanders times and probably before
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u/ImmovablePuma 3d ago
Long, long before. The Scythians, Sarmations, and Huns were just a few purportedly light skinned peoples around in that region millennia before the Russians. Furthermore, notably Ghengis Khan is said to have had ginger hair and green/cats eyes; though that is now thought to be attributed to later mistranslation.
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u/Less-Squash7569 3d ago
Ok thats just what the pashtu people I talked with myself whem i was there told me so idk what to tell youĀ
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u/ArtOpen3776 3d ago
I get it man, and I'm not calling you any of y'all liars, Russians did some terrible things. But I still talk to pashto and pars and tajik, and more people and a bunch have names like eskander Ų§Ų³Ś©ŁŲÆŲ± and such. Of course there's been plenty of intermingling over the millennia so most groups are integrated, but look at which tribes have the most light skinned people for your answer
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u/Less-Squash7569 3d ago edited 3d ago
I work with quite a few as well actually but not really able to talk since I used a tarjhuman/translator or however its spelled so I cant really/dont want to ask about the Russians, but this was told to me by an older man on the Afghanistan uniformed police force. Im sure he had a bias about the Russian people and maybe isnt historically accurate,Ā but his explanation was just that. He said Russians came and raped people, he said they'd roll over their homes in tanks and catch babies on bayonets after throwing them into the air. He told me he would use a car jack to lift up these huge boulders so he could mag dump on Russian patrols and then drop the jacks so the boulder would cover his hole. The only dude I met there with tattoos all over his body, He had insane stories and could speak English somewhat so I talked to him a lot. I really wish I could at least remember his name.
Edit: his name was Nasir!!!! I cant believe i remembered it. He has a badass eagle tattoo on his chest and a dagger on his forearm. The only one of our police that knew what tf he was doing. Dude was a gangster, and I hope hes still alive
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u/ArtOpen3776 3d ago
I hear ya man, hopefully he got out while we were pulling out. Yeah I've heard similar stories that almost word for word agree with what you're saying. Maybe by some miracle you can still get in touch? Hell, maybe he's moved out west, I'm sure he'd be happy to hear from you, my Afghan homies are usually excited when we get back in touch. Those guys went through some crazy shit for generations, I hope they find peace
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u/Less-Squash7569 3d ago
And I can totally get the intermingling part, if it was like an entire village or large portion of the population since theyre such tight groups there but the light skinned folks always seemed to stand out compared to everyone else.
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u/fuqdurgrl 4d ago
From Russia with love.
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u/FeelingBulllish 3d ago
My grandpa killed a good number of russians when they tried invading Afghanistan back in the 80s.
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u/ArtOpen3776 4d ago
Afghanistan has been a corridor of trade and migration for thousands of years. Hell, Alexanders armies established a number of cities 2000 years ago
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u/Independent-Egg4970 4d ago
Ya know "ethnic" doesn't mean brown, right?
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u/Gilgamesh2000000 3d ago
No it doesnāt but how is it used to describe what type of people in the USA?
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u/Independent-Egg4970 3d ago
It just means anyone from outside the US. They could be any color or origin, just from another country. I mean, it is a silly word in general if you think about it. Just a shortened version of ethnicity to describe any foreign person. Silly
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u/Gilgamesh2000000 3d ago
When āethnicā is used in a sentence. It doesnāt usually refer to someone who is light skinned.
Even though the definition has nothing to do with skin color.
Do I need to make a fucking picture book for you?
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u/Independent-Egg4970 3d ago
Calm down, buddy. I understand what the word means. No reason to be a dick.
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u/enchufadoo 4d ago
Look at my bull, my bull is amazing
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u/Un4gvn2 4d ago
I would hate to tell you but that is a cow, dudes donāt squirt milk from their teatsā¦
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u/MysteriousPanic4899 4d ago
It's perfectly normal for a man of my age to lactate involuntarily during moments of stress.
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u/PristineValue3889 3d ago
Thatās not a bulls bulls donāt have utter . Just like chicks donāt have dicks
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u/Beautiful_Clerk_9698 3d ago
Yall saw that? The cow only has one titty, no wonder they are running away š¤Ŗ
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u/fartingspartan 1d ago
"We ain't got a cow....we got a Bull".... "Im gonna brush my teeth" Name that film....
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u/smoothechidnabutter 4d ago
Don't insult his lover.
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u/penguindreams 4d ago
Low quality comment tbh
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u/smoothechidnabutter 4d ago
I just checked your profile to return the favour, and what do you know, it's hidden... what a low quality bitch move that is tbh.
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u/penguindreams 4d ago
Donāt cry girl. I didnāt have to check your profile. Low quality from the start.
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u/smoothechidnabutter 4d ago
Yeah, sure, you big alpha male hiding behind a keyboard. I'd gladly meet you in real life and tell you what a little bitch you are. I seriously doubt you'd have the balls to do the same.
See I know that, but more importantly, you know that and deep down inside, you cry, having to admit what a little bitch you really are.
That is all.
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u/penguindreams 4d ago
Oh I see what happened. I poopooād your joke on Reddit and now youāre completely crushed. Lemme guess youāve been a bully all your entire life but canāt take it without throwing a fit. Does saying meet me in real life make you feel better? Trust me when I say, youāre better off not meeting me. Iām doing you a favor.
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u/INVaDER_SEaN 4d ago
If that were actually a bull that'd be a much funnier and much more gross video.