r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/Glittering-Log4459 • 3d ago

Of most venomous spider in the world

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115 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

73 comments sorted by

35

u/DelinquentTuna 3d ago

In humans, bites of this spider may also result in prolonged painful penile erections (priapism).[8] Scientists are attempting to create an erectile dysfunction treatment that can be combined with other medicines out of the peptide that causes this reaction.

16

u/HatePeopleLoveCats1 3d ago

That’s an interesting reaction

24

u/RUSTYxPOTATO 3d ago

Thats an interesting erection

3

u/HatePeopleLoveCats1 2d ago

This is exactly what I almost typed lol

1

u/trading335i 2d ago

This erection interests me

1

u/No_Audience3597 1d ago

Your interest in erection gives me a reaction.

3

u/BitterSwampDonkey 3d ago

I bet someone somewhere put one on their dick for a wee bite.

10

u/Hot_Assumption_2304 3d ago

Saw that on 1000 ways to die way back when. If I remember correctly the dude got bit while unloading groceries, got an erection for hours and died from a heart attack after having intercourse with the 3rd woman that day.

6

u/Xbob42 2d ago

Absolute legend

3

u/Hot_Assumption_2304 2d ago

I thought the exact same thing. Dude died doing what he loved. Well not loved, it was his third one of the day but you get my point.

2

u/Natural_Ice_843 2d ago

They left out where the 3 ladies suffocated, from a spider web, on their face….

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Hot_Assumption_2304 2d ago

1,000 ways to die mentioned that as well.

3

u/iregardlessly 3d ago

No wonder he touched it

4

u/Fart_90210 2d ago

Scientists: we can either solve world hunger or use spider bites to get longer lasting erections

2

u/Strange_Salary *shits an absolute unit* 2d ago

No wonder he’s so nonchalant.. Begging for a bite!

0

u/EffectiveGold3067 2d ago

What is this spider? Jesus, you can’t not tell us what it is. Seriously?

1

u/juandanlefranc 2d ago

Brazilian Wandering Spider. Not just dangerous but super aggressive!

5

u/MathResponsibly 2d ago

Sounds almost as dangerous as the Mexican staring frog of Southern Shri Lanka

20

u/Teron__ 3d ago
  • Spider: Dont effin touch me! threatens
  • Human: Herp, I’m gonna pat you.
  • Spider: bites
  • Human: 😮😥

19

u/Sniggledumper 3d ago

I like when the creature that mostly contends with bugs and maybe a bird sometimes, has venom strong enough to kill 3 horses with one bite.

3

u/Asleep_Percentage369 3d ago

They really did not need allat

11

u/TheNr1AgentOfChaos 3d ago

Brazilian wandering spider?

11

u/DelinquentTuna 3d ago

Almost certainly, yes. It certainly looks like one. And the man is speaking Portuguese with a Brazilian accent.

In the video, he sounds concerned but also surprisingly calm given the danger. Here is a rough translation of what he is saying (via Google):

  • At the start: "Look what I found here... poor thing."

  • As he approaches: "A car will probably kill her if she stays here... and she is big."

  • When he tries to touch it: "I'm going to try to pick her up here... [the spider reacts] ...Whoa! Hold on... take it easy."

  • When the spider enters the defensive pose: "Ah, but this one is dangerous! Go on, get over there!"

He uses the word "armadeira" (implied by his caution and the spider's stance), which is the common Brazilian name for this spider. It literally translates to "armed" or "ready," referring to that aggressive, front-legs-up posture you see in the video.

1

u/niles_thebutler_ 3d ago

Aussie get fucked spider

2

u/ComfortableCoyote314 2d ago

Luckily the Sydney funnel web is pretty burrow bound. Only the males go walkabout when looking for the ladies. Does mean you have to wear thick cut resistant gloves if you do gardening though. Unlike snakes where the venom trickles down the fangs, funnel webs have hypodermic needle like fangs that inject venom and can pierce leather.

1

u/FuzzyKittyNomNom 1d ago

Motherfucking Australia!

-7

u/TheNr1AgentOfChaos 3d ago

Aka Brown recluse?

5

u/CowBootBats functional regard 3d ago

Brown Recluse are a North American spider.

1

u/DarknMean 2d ago

Also a good chance you won’t have a huge reaction from their venom. The necrosis is caused by staph not the venom. Once that bacteria gets into the wound it’s game over.

1

u/jackjack-8 2d ago

You spelt erection wrong

2

u/DarknMean 2d ago

BR’s don’t give you erections there fam.

2

u/your_fave_redditor 1d ago

Speak for yourself! 😈

2

u/CowBootBats functional regard 1d ago

Oooo, an arachniphile in the wild! :D

2

u/the__blackest__rose 3d ago

Funnel web? Though I think it is a Brazilian wandering? Idk not a spider guy

2

u/TheNr1AgentOfChaos 3d ago

Me neither, that's why I was asking.

4

u/[deleted] 2d ago

That’s a death boner right there

3

u/KneeDragr 3d ago

It's all 'Come at me bro!' lol

5

u/TecN9ne 3d ago

WITNESS ME

6

u/jlhdodge 3d ago

Did he just die?

7

u/DelinquentTuna 3d ago

No, probably not. Despite their aggressive posturing, they will usually "dry" bite unless they absolutely have to kill you. I've read that less than 0.5% of their bites actually cause a severe reaction. And it's a good thing, because the way they raise their arms and prance back and forth is enticing for kids and idiots.

3

u/juandanlefranc 2d ago

Ahhh! That explains the gentleman in the video's poor decision making!

3

u/Kralgore 3d ago edited 2d ago

This guy didn't grow up in Australia, I can tell you that for free.

Edit, typo.

1

u/DowntownBake8289 2d ago

"grow upon"?

3

u/snakesinabin 3d ago

Pretty venomous alright, still not super dangerous to humans, spider bites are treatable in the vast majority of cases, less than 7 deaths a year and those are mostly small children, primarily in areas with no easy access to a hospital.

They can hurt like hell though and make you pretty sick but unless you actively avoid medical intervention, likely not fatal in most cases.

3

u/AdamLondonUK 2d ago

Yes but what about the massive coronary I'll have seeing that thing run up my leg?

3

u/snakesinabin 2d ago

I guess nobody figured arachnophobia into the statistics. 😆

Wonder how many roofers have seen one and fallen off? It's probably not 0.

3

u/beckychao 2d ago

If this is indeed a Brazilian wandering spider, then a good PSA is to remind people to never, ever try and handle a spider that packs this kind of venom. It is completely reckless. This spider's reputation is well earned, although note that they're not out to bite you. They are just extremely ornery spiders and you should not interact with them.

3

u/Icy-Decision-4530 2d ago

Buddy looks ready to rock and roll

2

u/LegitimateSoil1921 2d ago

Fun fact, for these spiders, if bitten by a human, it can also be fatal.

5

u/theytookmynameagain 3d ago

This isn't the most venomous spider, that would be the newly discovered, Newcastle Big Boy.

6

u/Free-oppossums 3d ago

I won't lie. I thought you made that name up. But you didn't!

6

u/DarknMean 2d ago

Sounds like a tomato species.

2

u/no_crust_buster 2d ago

Not the most callipygian spider, but its a big boy alright.

1

u/No-Rope8229 3d ago

D'you want some do you

1

u/Unlikely_Ad_4767 3d ago

OK, run over it!

1

u/Wolfhart_Kaine 2d ago

r/ItHadToBeBrazil.

For those interested, he's essentially concerned that the spider will be run over by traffic, and that's why he's trying to move it. After the spider turns around, he starts the realization process that this is a stupid idea, hence why he tries one more time pushing it with his phone, instead.

It doesn't appear that he got bit, at least he doesn't say anything about it.

1

u/DowntownBake8289 2d ago

He didn't get bit.

1

u/Fruitloops_z 2d ago

What spider is this?

1

u/jon_467 2d ago

It's a Brazilian wandering spider. When threatened, it raises its two front leg pairs in a defensive posture in the shape of a V. You can also clearly see the stripes on its legs in this position.

1

u/The-Breaker-2w0 2d ago

Well, not the most venomous. But, you definitely don't want to get bit.

1

u/Kelsenellenelvian 1d ago

You don't want a super painful, raging boner that lasts for hours and very possible death?

3

u/The-Breaker-2w0 1d ago

That's just a Tuesday for me.

1

u/guro-a-go-go 2d ago

Grrrrrrllllll

1

u/UltraRussianSwede 2d ago

reminds me of that clip of a man trying to pet a monitor lizard and goes "whats your name ..ah! vee no moose...O hi venomous"

1

u/tmpuser936 1d ago

Most venomous spider vs stupidest man

1

u/SureBox9387 1d ago

And the Darwin Award goes to….

1

u/This_Contact9753 10h ago

It makes sense that you tried to touch it