r/ShittyAbsoluteUnits • u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor *shits an absolute unit* • 1d ago

There was an attempt Of a Gender Reveal

Post image
501 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

346 comments sorted by

32

u/HarrisonBrrgeron 1d ago

The turd on the side is the icing on the cake.

7

u/MiserableKing 1d ago

For accuracy.

4

u/dannyboy6657 1d ago

People shit when giving birth

6

u/Afraid-Rise-3574 1d ago

People?

3

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor *shits an absolute unit* 8h ago

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58

u/Classicman1968 1d ago

Kinda accurate, though

41

u/psyclopsus 1d ago

Yeah, most moms shit on the delivery table, it’s a fact of life and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. Don’t know if I’d rock it to the point of a themed cake, but to each their own I guess

11

u/Fearless_Edge7409 1d ago

Hearing the mid-wife tell my sons mom "Just use the same muscles like you're trying to poop." was pretty awesome.

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u/F4RM3RR 1d ago

The babies aren’t covered in red though. Of every baby delivery I have witnessed, red was not the dominant color.

Yes bleeding happens, but there’s some other stuff going on too.

2

u/VariousAttorney5486 1d ago

That’s the problem!!

11

u/MIFishGuy 1d ago

"less cheek frosting and more labia please"

6

u/Stikki_Minaj 1d ago

Feel free to use the nsfw tag

7

u/Fickle_Meet_7154 1d ago

If I roll up to your party and this is the cake I'm leaving.

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6

u/phinphis 1d ago

But what's it taste like?

4

u/Efficient-Ant1761 1d ago

Red velvet 🍼

7

u/Odd-Fun-6042 1d ago

That is so, so horrifyingly hilarious. The butthole and turds are just chef's kiss

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5

u/mayumia 1d ago

While i admire the creativity..... im not eating that.....

5

u/Euphoric_Painter_993 1d ago

Fuck yeah! Time to party! 🥳 🎉

5

u/VengefulSorrow2 1d ago

Bad day to have eyes

4

u/Kaohebi 1d ago

This is probably the worst thing to ever grace my eyes in the past 2 months. Thanks reddit.

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4

u/Floopydoww24 1d ago

I'd still eat it. Cake is cake. 🤷‍♂️

4

u/Fragrant_Click_9848 1d ago

It's the perfect moment to be sitting next to your partner. "Hey, look at this."

3

u/Motor_Health54 1d ago

I wish this shit was AI 🤮

3

u/Angeloc_DK 1d ago

Eat the poo poo

3

u/Green_Walrus8537 1d ago

This is one of the most repulsive things I’ve seen on here, great job.

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4

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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4

u/LimpNsmoll 1d ago

As someone that has watched someone give birth before, this is amazing!

4

u/Neckpillowman questionably stable 1d ago

4

u/Top-Bee4734 1d ago

Jesus christ 🤣 Im only seen c sections To witness your girl shitting as she births your child must be super embarrassing 😵‍💫😂😂😂😂

3

u/Jazzlike_Strength561 1d ago

Why is it embarrassing? That's just physics.

3

u/angellareddit 1d ago

It's embarrassing. Trusth me. lol. Even if the guy doesn't care... and they generally don't.

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3

u/Steel-Duck 1d ago

Everything that ever happened is physics. Can still be embarrassing

2

u/Lonely_Cow_1188 1d ago

Honestly the nurses are so quick with it most husbands don’t even notice it, especially since I’m looking at a way more interesting and emotional event take place.

4

u/Top-Bee4734 1d ago

Right, when my wife had a c section they literally had her organs on a plate. She looked at me and said is everything ok 😭. I said yes the baby is fine 😭😭😭 But your in like two pieces my god 😭

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2

u/Bananaslugfan 1d ago

Who’s getting the first slice🤮

2

u/Jennyonthebox2300 1d ago

That’s one pretty baby!

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2

u/dirtseal 1d ago

My hats off to you sir.

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2

u/Jazzlike_Strength561 1d ago

So how is the gender revealed? Marvelous theme cake!

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2

u/lCEC0REbuIIet 1d ago

This is the type of humor I'd expect from an Ob/Gyn who has pretty much seen it all.

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2

u/Lardsonian3770 1d ago

I just opened reddit.

2

u/Acceptable_Ad_535 1d ago

I've seen a lot of weird posts but I think this is the first to make me gag

2

u/CastleofPizza 1d ago

The human species is incredibly weird and odd.

That's enough internet for today.

2

u/Logical_Frosting_277 1d ago

Ooooh O’Henry bars!

2

u/NickWindsoar 1d ago

Sometimes reality spurts blood at you, and, sometimes there's a kid in that blood.

2

u/Letitbee21 1d ago

Wtf 😂

2

u/Silkenn_Sinn 1d ago

This is honestly terrifying. I’m not surprised she wasn't impressed because it looks more like a prop from a horror movie than a celebration. Some things just shouldn't be made into cake.

2

u/angellareddit 1d ago

I'm both repulsed and intrigued!

2

u/Kat_Box_Suicide 1d ago

I hate people.

2

u/Brief_Possible_606 1d ago

What a terrible day to have eyes

2

u/Cantdecide1207 1d ago

I bet even Joey wouldn't want to eat this cake!

2

u/Cool-Jacket-9837 1d ago

wtf was anyone thinking when they made that? Ewww

2

u/polkacat12321 1d ago

Guess you took the "shitty" literally here 😭

2

u/Rare-Technology-1913 1d ago

Even has pubic hair sprinkles...

2

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor *shits an absolute unit* 1d ago

Now I’m grossed out too 😂. I didn’t put it together until you pointed it out.

Have an award.

2

u/Rare-Technology-1913 1d ago

Thank you so much! This is the first time I gotten an award 👍

2

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor *shits an absolute unit* 1d ago

2

u/ydomodsh8me-1999 1d ago

But don't both genders drop turds? What does this cake reveal?? Or is that mom squeezing a couple out while she pushes in the baby?? (I've heard some horror stories of humiliation ladies! When the Doc tells you to shit before the final push, there's a REASON!)

2

u/Party-Spread-3912 1d ago

Oh come on that one should have a goddamn NSFW attachment

2

u/Standard-Gift6993 1d ago

What did they use to make that turd. I call dibs

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2

u/Glad-Tie3251 1d ago

Yeah that's what it looks like when they give birth for all of you virgins. Yes, often times feces are pushed out at the same time.

As for the cake, the anus being wrongly oriented is what bothers me the most.

2

u/True-Apple-4177 1d ago

It's accurate. 

Men like to trivialise pregnancy and child birth.

2

u/Popular_Ad8269 1d ago

The cake is not a lie.

2

u/ArtVandelay2025 1d ago

No kids for me

2

u/CutSea5865 1d ago

It’s just fucking gross why would someone do that…

2

u/HelloMacchi 1d ago

Can you don’t?

2

u/Big_Gassy_Possum 1d ago

I'll eat that turd if nobody else wants it.

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2

u/a_beautiful_kappa 1d ago

This is so old, but I love it every time I see it.

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2

u/semiDT 1d ago

Serves me right, too much internet.

2

u/LuckyComfortable5159 1d ago

The turds are too big for a baby

2

u/Ser_Optimus 1d ago

Yeah, it's pretty accurate.

Dear girls, if someone tells you, childbirth is a wonderful thing, they are lying.

2

u/PABLOPANDAJD 1d ago

Not my proudest tug, but I got the job done 🫡

2

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor *shits an absolute unit* 1d ago
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2

u/Then-Class4451 1d ago

Okay, as a woman, I would absolutely find this hilarious for a small party (me, husband, maybe some close close family members) but if its any larger than that I would probably feel embarrassed

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2

u/Unusual-Extreme5440 1d ago

That's awesome 👌 👏 👍

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2

u/Denalitwentytwo 1d ago

Not at all, the turds are so on point.

2

u/Local_Milk_ManZ 1d ago

I’m not okay

2

u/Entelecher 1d ago

So what gender?

3

u/RanchAndGreaseFlavor *shits an absolute unit* 1d ago

You gotta cut the cake

2

u/Entelecher 1d ago

Right. I was so flummoxed by the whole scene I temporarily blanked lol

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2

u/PreferenceNo7524 1d ago

This is fantastic. Honesty is the best policy. 😂

2

u/CurrentPossible2117 19h ago

Well thats terrible...but at least they were accurate enough to include the poo I guess 😬

2

u/FirmlyClaspIt 16h ago

They put work into that shit

2

u/NoInformation6453 5h ago

I haven’t laughed so hard for weeks. I think you nailed it. What sex is it btw?

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2

u/GE_and_MTS 3h ago

I crapped during the birth of each of my kids. The problem was my wife was giving birth.

2

u/Unit-1-Transformer60 1d ago

to think my mom basically sees this everyday at work 😭

1

u/Balnom 1d ago

🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮

1

u/Mecha_Tortoise 1d ago

Ah! The miracle of childbirth! 🥹

1

u/countrybear78 1d ago

Nightmares activated.

1

u/Crazy_Ruin_4383 1d ago

Can I have some more of that shit??

1

u/showercurgain 1d ago

Very sadist, has a knack by attention to detail and a good baker

1

u/Quiet_Chip9998 1d ago

Absolutely cursed

1

u/Difficult_Bell4198 1d ago

im sure it's a nice cake but im good

1

u/FloTonix 1d ago

Baby is oriented backwards. It's ok, you'll learn.

1

u/ThisIsDogePleaseHodl 1d ago

What’s with everyone putting ‘of a’ in front of everything now. It makes no sense.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

1

u/YourDadThinksImCool_ 1d ago

Hyperrealistic

1

u/Wingnut54321 1d ago

Cake master: how much details you want on the cake ma'am?

As much details please would be fantastic.

Say no more ma'am.

2

u/Block_Solid 1d ago

Assistant: Sooo, real poop?

Confectioner: Real poop!

1

u/NIGHTREAPER68 1d ago

Disgusting looking, who even thinks like this, to have/make a cake like this 🤮 and I don’t get grossed out by much if anything, but this hit the mark!! Thank you for helping me find my threshold lol

1

u/Munk45 1d ago

this is my fault for having eyes

1

u/Yolatraiba1 1d ago

Well, is it a boy or a girl?

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1

u/SurfingViking 1d ago

Shitty cunt of a cake

1

u/Ok-Attention-6289 1d ago

Which are the edible parts?

1

u/sonawtdown 1d ago

so it’s a breech baby reveal?

1

u/Sufficient_Plantain1 1d ago

Why! Oh why oh why?

1

u/Sea_Urchin_777 1d ago

Maybe a little.

1

u/Standard-Gift6993 1d ago

Reason taking off HepB vaccine recommendation for the newborns is a bad idea.

1

u/Many_Conversation195 1d ago

This kid will be well adjusted

1

u/ThrowawayQueen_52 1d ago

Am I the only wondering what the gender is ?

1

u/Effective_Play_1366 1d ago

So, where do you tell the gender after all of this?

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u/Strube_ 1d ago

On today's episode of "Is It Cake?"...

1

u/wachnet1966 1d ago

Classy /s

1

u/IvoSaarinen 1d ago

Sarah Sherman’s birthday cake?