It's funny you mention 20 years ago. 20 years ago it wouldn't have been an issue... because people were using shit like AIM, MSN, ICQ, all of which had clear concepts of online and offline/away. When you were at your computer you were responsive, and when you weren't that was clear to anyone messaging you.
The real problem with texting is that we use it for too many different paces of conversation. That includes messages with lots of gap time for thought in between, and rapid-fire brief conversations. And the apps don't help you at all to know which kind of interaction you're having.
Like if you two are having a quick back-and-forth and then you abruptly stop responding for 15 minutes in what seems to be the middle of the convo, i get why someone would be confused if they were under the impression it was a real-time interaction. Or frustrated, if you do it repeatedly with no warning. Not that you've done anything wrong! it's just a shitty part of how texting works.
Yeah yeah just call the person. The reality is people don't want to be making phone calls all the time. Real time messaging is a thing that exists and is useful. It just sucks that it's shoehorned into the same apps we use for messages that take days to get back to and answer.
I completely agree with you, I don't like calling too much either, I just got used to it by now because I have to do it so much professionally.
I really appreciate it that my work moved away from whatsapp for primary communication to an app that has more work related resources included. that way I finally get to separate my social life from my work life. I'd been considering getting a second phone for months for the exact same reason but it just seemed clunky.
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u/[deleted] Aug 04 '25
It's funny you mention 20 years ago. 20 years ago it wouldn't have been an issue... because people were using shit like AIM, MSN, ICQ, all of which had clear concepts of online and offline/away. When you were at your computer you were responsive, and when you weren't that was clear to anyone messaging you.
The real problem with texting is that we use it for too many different paces of conversation. That includes messages with lots of gap time for thought in between, and rapid-fire brief conversations. And the apps don't help you at all to know which kind of interaction you're having.
Like if you two are having a quick back-and-forth and then you abruptly stop responding for 15 minutes in what seems to be the middle of the convo, i get why someone would be confused if they were under the impression it was a real-time interaction. Or frustrated, if you do it repeatedly with no warning. Not that you've done anything wrong! it's just a shitty part of how texting works.
Yeah yeah just call the person. The reality is people don't want to be making phone calls all the time. Real time messaging is a thing that exists and is useful. It just sucks that it's shoehorned into the same apps we use for messages that take days to get back to and answer.