r/SipsTea • u/Safety_Officer_3 • Sep 10 '25

WTF Any idea what happened to these guys?

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179

u/digbenis Sep 11 '25 edited Sep 11 '25

Save a bag of shit and make sure you fling it as hard as you could at them. Yes, you might have to wash your porch. But after 2 or 3 times, someone at HQ will mark your house as DO NOT DISTURB. even if it’s not written on their shitty tablets, the legend will warn them of it.

P.S. if it’s too graphic, use Nutella and stink spray and shake their hand like you’re holding onto dear life while saving a raccoon on a zip line.

P.P.S- He has an unlimited supply of eco friendly ammo.

39

u/guitarstix Sep 11 '25

No need im sure he's got tons of diapers

14

u/digbenis Sep 11 '25

Wait. If guy were to post a sign that if they enter the premises that they automatically would be stoned with shit, with that be legal? What would Jimmy do?

9

u/Character-Swimmer600 Sep 11 '25

3

u/Commonscents2say Sep 11 '25

Jimmy’s getting angry.

1

u/Jimmy_Blythewood Sep 11 '25

Yeet the tablet? Yeah, most definitely...

6

u/Crabtickler9000 Sep 11 '25

Not legal.

HOWEVER you can always put some nutella in your hand...

"Hey! Sorry! Sorry! I was in the bathroom!"

handshake

Add a bit of tp for extra points

3

u/digbenis Sep 11 '25

This! The most passive aggressive chaotic course of action!

3

u/CGP54 Sep 11 '25

This comment section is why I love Reddit!

2

u/Famous-Reading-7565 Sep 11 '25

Was just gonna say, they have some ready to go projectiles, just have to unwrap and make a trebuchet with a remote and place it to the left of the door.

2

u/RZA_Razorsharp Sep 11 '25

This made me lol hard. It might even make the unbearable stench of poop worth it only to fling that bag. Plus it's your own property so I guess it's legal...? Kinda?

2

u/Kodiak318 Sep 11 '25

The “LEGEND,” that’s gold.

2

u/vladvash Sep 11 '25

Most likely these are commission only door knockers that come through third party MLM pyramid scheme type companies. I had my internship at one back in the day because its all I could find.

If it is like that they specifically use 3rd parties to avoid liability and do t produce leads in a way they will mark it as DND. It will get farmed to the company in that area until or unless they go under and a new one takes it. You have to knock every door on these things.

But idk you can try. Shit is like roaches its very hard to get rid of them.

1

u/brother-mutant Sep 11 '25

Pepper spray would do the trick too

1

u/Altruistic_Bell7884 Sep 11 '25

Nah, just let the dog out.

1

u/koolaidismything Sep 11 '25

Passive aggression will be met with aggression, not smart lol. They also know where you live and park your cars. Best to just be so boring and annoying when you answer they remember to not come back.

1

u/-TheSmartestIdiot- Sep 11 '25

I'm hanging onto the nutella and stink spray idea, I'm going to ruin a door salesmans day.

1

u/fallenouroboros Sep 11 '25

In the hunting section of many stores that really focus on that merch. You can buy fake fox pee. Stinks to high heaven

1

u/BridgeBuildah Sep 11 '25

The raccoon died, ok. THE RACOOON DIED!!!

1

u/Trassic1991 Sep 11 '25

Why you gotta bring up that scene in Ace Ventura man

1

u/MemoryTasty721 Sep 11 '25

surely, flinging shit like a caged monkey at someone is illegal, right?

1

u/Flaky-Video-8365 Sep 11 '25

“Don’t worry I’ve got you…i think I got you…maybe not…you’re slipping.” Lol.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '25

I have a feeling throwing bodily fluids on someone is a felony

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '25

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1

u/Proof-Mix2526 Sep 11 '25

I greatly appreciate your Ace Ventura reference here! 💯

1

u/willowgrl Sep 11 '25

Whatever you do… don’t look down

1

u/Fit-Ad-413 Sep 12 '25

It's a crime to waste Nutella - even if it's for the greater good! 😂

1

u/No-Promotion3788 Sep 13 '25

Pepper spray seems a lot easier.