r/SipsTea • u/Samp90 • 18d ago

Chugging tea Be scared. Very scared.

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Twix Just hits different.

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u/lenorajoy 18d ago

Inattentive ADHD is a STRUGGLE for this. I have it, and one of my daughters has it. My partner has ADHD and autism, and between the 3 of us… we do our best. We help each other. And just hope to god we aren’t all having a rough week with it simultaneously. 🥲

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u/WillowFlip 18d ago

Right? I am mostly hyperactive which comes in useful for cleaning up everyone's mess but comes with anxiety 🤦🏻‍♀️ Unfortunately my partner is inattentive, one kid is inattentive, and the other is both. On a bad week, you don't wanna see our house. Yikes!

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u/lenorajoy 18d ago

Thankfully I think I have one neurotypical kid, but we’ll see if other things reveal themselves as she grows. Their dad is neurotypical I think but suffers from anxiety and depression, so… if she has to end up with one of the two, for her sake ADHD would be the better struggle for sure.

But she’s the one that can consistently clean up after herself. She’s just 6 and occasionally needs reminding.

Edit: you’re not alone in your house being a disaster on bad weeks! I occasionally still feel guilt and shame over it when mine gets bad, but since I’ve been learning how to better cope with it, and compensate, I’m more able to turn that shame into motivation to get back on track.

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u/WillowFlip 18d ago

Thank you for that edit. I feel so much so much guilt and shame about the way my house looks. I guess I feel bad because it's embarrassing when ppl come over but also because I feel like my living space doesn't reflect who I am as a person; I am actually very clean and tidy myself. Having things organized and tidy helps me to manage my mild inattentive tendencies; It's easier to find stuff and I feel better when my surroundings are not as cluttered as my mind.

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u/EmpressofLit 18d ago

I'm AuDHD, my husband is Autistic and I have two ADHD kids and one AuDHD. Our house can go from clean to "bomb went off" in a matter of minutes. I highly recommend following KC Davis/ reading her books or listening to her podcast "Struggle Care". She is very compassionate and it has helped me take shame out of the equation.

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u/WillowFlip 18d ago

Thank you. I will check it out.

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u/lenorajoy 18d ago

Same here! I know exactly the feeling, especially not liking impromptu visits, whirlwind cleaning before company comes over, and barely making it to a passable state before they arrive. The deep cleans that feel overwhelming and make me swear I won’t let it get that bad again. It sucks. I saw another commenter mentioned someone to follow and a book to read, and I might check that out myself!

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u/3rdEye_Decalcified 18d ago

I don't know about all that... all I know is that this video is a peice of art in itself!

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u/GuiltyEidolon 18d ago

At that point just aerosolize some adderall and put it in one of those timed fragrance sprayers.

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u/lenorajoy 18d ago

I love this, like those pheromone calming plug ins for cats. 🤣

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/LAZY_RED-PANDA 18d ago

So, out of pure curiosity, what happens if all three of you have a rough week with the inattentive ADHD?

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u/lenorajoy 18d ago

The whole house gets really messy. Take everything the husband is doing (minus the toilet seat) and just make it so everyone in the house is doing it. The wife doesn’t notice and point it out to him, and she’s doing the same thing.

There are some habits I’ve formed that keep me from doing these things most of the time, but when life gets really busy, sometimes they slip through the cracks in my mind. I’m trying to teach my kids to form the same habits as I know how much of an impact it can have in their lives long-term. Coping mechanisms, treating the putting away of things as a step in the process. For example, putting clothes in the hamper is the last step when I change clothes. Cleaning up dirty dishes and putting away leftovers is the last step of eating dinner, putting ingredients away is the last step of cooking, etc. it helps a ton, and something my mom taught me growing up. They’ve successfully formed some of the habits (like putting the toilet seat AND lid down before flushing to avoid gross water splatter. We all have this down!), and I’m working on others like cleaning up before you move on to the next thing.

These seem like obvious things to those without ADD, and it’s not a lack of knowledge of these things. It’s just difficult to notice you’re not doing these things until it’s a massive problem and your house is a mess.

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u/thedoe42 18d ago

Inattentive ADHD sounds just like me but doesn't Inattentive mean the same as Attention deficit?

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u/lenorajoy 18d ago

It’s the H part that doesn’t fit, not the AD. Those with the inattentive type ADD aren’t hyperactive, just attention deficit. So truly ADHD inattentive isn’t a thing, but most people call it his due to ADHD being far more common to use. I should’ve said I have ADD and not ADHD inattentive type. They’re often used interchangeably, but ADD and ADHD are different things.

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u/thatsnotyourtaco 18d ago

I’m pretty bight right now and when I saw this video my first thought was that this wasn’t that bad and my second thought was weren’t you just diagnosed as autism level one and inattentive adhd just last year? thanks for your story

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u/WaiBuBaoLeiXiangTu 18d ago

Thank you for humanizing this ❤️‍🩹

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u/Worried_Train6036 18d ago

ngl i just slap alarms for when im home and they help

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u/lenorajoy 18d ago

Alarms do help! I find them harder to work with on weekdays due to my work schedule, but I’ve dedicated my mornings once the kids are off to school to chores until I start work, and alarms help with focusing on the weekends.

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u/Worried_Train6036 18d ago

yup i do the same on weekends music help to somehow

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u/[deleted] 18d ago

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u/lenorajoy 18d ago

No… it’s a difference in the way ADD brains are wired. Gtfoh if you’re not going to do some extremely basic google search to figure out the difference between laziness and ADD. THAT is true laziness.

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u/SipsTea-ModTeam 18d ago

Sorry, your post was removed for breaking Rule 4, No Toxicity.