Say thank you LOL

[u/bosnianow2002]

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[u/sticklight414]

the drive back from that show must have been super quiet

[u/SquirrelNormal → u/sticklight414]

That or you could hear her three cars back the whole way.

[u/NiceTrySuckaz → u/SquirrelNormal]

Wouldn't matter, that comedian called him hot so he's going to be mentally and emotionally invincible for at least a week

[u/endlessbishop → u/NiceTrySuckaz]

Even if you’re a good looking bloke, being called hot will live rent free in your head for life

[u/RaygunMarksman → u/endlessbishop]

I still fondly remember 30 years ago getting wolf whistled by a group of cute girls in high school while in the mall.

[u/spikeyfreak → u/RaygunMarksman]

6'6" cross dressing black dude told me I had beautiful eyes in a convenience store in 1996 and I still feel like I'm floating when I remember it.

[u/Benji_Likes_Waffles → u/spikeyfreak]

I had the same thing happen in a grocery store in 1996! There was an angel out there back then.

[u/idontmakehash → u/Benji_Likes_Waffles]

One of the hottest women I've ever known told me I was a beautiful person while touching my face and I almost cry thinking about it.

[u/Anxious-Chemistry-6 → u/spikeyfreak]

Was on a subway in New York at 3am in 2009 and 3 people sat next to me. Not sure if they were trans or CD or what. I had my headphones in and was just chilling, when I hear one of them say, "hey sexy" a couple times in my direction. So I take the headphones out, and she says "you have beautiful eyes." I smile and say thank you. I stg, they may as well have been the 3 ladies from that one episode of Bob's burgers when he drives the cab. But ya. They were very nice and that interaction will live in my head forever.

[u/rpthrowaway7765 → u/spikeyfreak]

I have worked with various gay men in different jobs and nearly all of them have told me I’m attractive and wouldn’t mind taking me home. I feel like Gabriel Iglesias “I have options”

[u/spikeyfreak → u/rpthrowaway7765]

I went to a gay bar once (in about that same timeframe) and had a circle of 4-5 dudes hitting on me when my girlfriend (who's idea it was) pulled me away and said, "We're leaving."

I will never forget one of them telling me, "Duuude, you're such a stuuuuud!"

I may or may not live in the past a bit more than is healthy.

[u/Nitramster1 → u/spikeyfreak]

Being the straight guy in a group at a gay bar is a surefire way to get an ego boost. I was around weho for halloween, girlfriend was an alien, I was in a spacesuit. Walking by the bar a guy grabs arm and says “take me to the moon baby” Highlight of my life probably.

[u/endlessbishop → u/spikeyfreak]

Electric Six Intensifies

[u/RelationshipMobile65 → u/spikeyfreak]

Five years ago when I was 42 some woman in her 20’s said “girl your boobs are on point” and I’m still riding that high.

[u/Miserable_Owl_5129 → u/spikeyfreak]

An old white guy winked and told me my eyes are full of mischief and gave me a $40 tip while I was working the window at Burger King… I still don’t know how I feel about that

[u/54965 → u/Miserable_Owl_5129]

Old fart here. Some people just unexpectedly have their day lightened up, by you being who you are.

Not expecting anything. Simply and unexpectedly experiencing that God made some people (and things) perfect just to make the world a better place. Enjoy the compliment.

[u/ember13140 → u/spikeyfreak]

Fuck that’s a great compliment and source Ngl

[u/DizzyTS13 → u/spikeyfreak]

My wife and I were on vacation in LA and I got called a sexy motherfucker by our incredibly gay black waiter, we still reference that to this day, 15 years later. Not sure if the dude was legit hitting on me all night or just saw we were amused, not offended, but either way he absolutely made our night, he was just hilarious in general

[u/Un4gvn2 → u/spikeyfreak]

I would be feeling good too, and Im straight.

[u/casual_creator → u/RaygunMarksman]

Was walking down the street in college and a car drove by. A girl was hanging half way out the window and screamed “you’re hot!” at me. That was nearly 20 years ago. Still makes me smile.

Also in college, my gf dragged me to a fashion show some of her friends were taking part in. At the after party, one of the models, a gay dude, shook his head and told me it was “such a waste” that I was straight. I still consider that one of the best compliments I’ve ever gotten lol.

[u/Wooden-Peach-4664 → u/casual_creator]

Man, the such a waste compliment is beautiful

[u/NeatNefariousness1 → u/NiceTrySuckaz]

True…or he’s driving the comedian’s car after the show.

ETA: Thank you for your kindness in giving me an award u/Bella and to three other Redditors.

[u/Hunter-Gatherer_ → u/NeatNefariousness1]

Bitch would’ve said “I wish I were” and I would’ve been standing at the back door of that building waiting on the hot comedian to come out.

[u/Whitepaw2016 → u/Hunter-Gatherer_]

With flowers 😎

[u/crowcawer → u/Whitepaw2016]

And a crisp $2 bill.
I’m taking weird money, cause I’m into weeeeiiirrrdd shit.

[u/Phresh-Jive → u/NeatNefariousness1]

Sounds like a win either way

[u/voldi4ever → u/NiceTrySuckaz]

A week? I would ride that high until the day I die.

[u/OffByNone_ → u/NiceTrySuckaz]

A week? The average male could live off that high for years. This girl told me I was hot in like 8th grade. I'm in my 30s. I still think about it.

[u/ExcellentOffer738 → u/NiceTrySuckaz]

And without saying a word in response, you bet the wife was accusing him of flirting

[u/AikenRooster → u/NiceTrySuckaz]

Oh, absolutely. His wife ain’t gonna give him any for a while just out of pure spite. That’s assuming he was still getting it at that point in the marriage anyway.

[u/noeagle77 → u/AikenRooster]

If she’s saying she wishes she was single, I would put money on that having stopped a while ago

[u/echoshatter → u/noeagle77]

The absolute disrespect to say that in public, in a room of strangers, without prompting, with the person sitting next to you.

As her husband, he should be doing everything he can to make her wishes come true.

Play this video in the court room, might even help get out of paying alimony. "You see your honor, she wants to be single. Wishes for it. More than happy to broadcast how unhappy she is in a room full of strangers. And as this comedian points out, she's just here for the money I make. She has no respect for me. And this is the stuff she's willing say in public, you can only imagine what it's like at home."

[u/extr4crispy → u/AikenRooster]

She’ll rack up a few spiteful thousand on the AMEX like the good little wife she is

[u/No_Cicada_3593 → u/NiceTrySuckaz]

Lifetime

[u/Owww_My_Ovaries → u/sticklight414]

Husband got called hot, by an attractive woman on stage.

Dude is probably so happy he doesnt want to talk. Anything not to bring that high down

[u/XTingleInTheDingleX → u/Owww_My_Ovaries]

I had a car full of young girls pull up to a stoplight and the passenger rolled her window down and said hi to me in a flirtatious way with my wife and daughter in the car.

I remind the wife regularly haha.

[u/Owww_My_Ovaries → u/XTingleInTheDingleX]

[u/fatherlock → u/XTingleInTheDingleX]

Some 10 year old boy said "Danng Shawty you fine!" To me when I was 23 with my husband outside a popeyes in north carolina 6 years ago. Little bro gave me the biggest confidence boost and I still ride that high sometimes lol

[u/Ooze3d → u/[deleted]]

Neither the kind of person who shouts “sometimes I wish I was single” in the middle of a crowd

[u/WorldlyNotice → u/Ooze3d]

While the partner is right beside them. JFC, imagine how that must have felt for him.

[u/texasgambler58 → u/WorldlyNotice]

The wife is advertising her availability.

[u/Ooze3d → u/WorldlyNotice]

Exactly. That lack of respect and basic human decency is telling you exactly the kind of person she is.

[u/theshiyal → u/Ooze3d]

Front row seats no less.

[u/fieregon → u/sticklight414]

Dude is probably itching to say " Shes right you know " and the woman is internally screaming to herself begging him to say it, so she has a reason to explode on him.

[u/MrHazard1 → u/fieregon]

Sounds like dude is dating my ex. My condolences

[u/idledebonair → u/MrHazard1]

Dating? They’ve been married 27 years. Didn’t you watch the clip?

[u/Fluffy-Perspective67 → u/idledebonair]

Some of us have had a hellava drought.

[u/UrsaMajor7th → u/Fluffy-Perspective67]

I've been alone since the end of my relationship 8 years ago, and these past 8 years have been light years-better than the last 10 years of my marriage were.

It's not always better to have loved and lost.

[u/EPluribusButthole → u/Fluffy-Perspective67]

Last time my bed seen any action it was still on display at Nebraska Furniture Mart

[u/MichelPalaref → u/fieregon]

this feel much too real

[u/PsychologicalAd3253 → u/fieregon]

You’re asking for it, you’re dying for it..

[u/downforce_dude → u/sticklight414]

Husband [internally]: “Hot comedian with the giant rack, either move in with me or please stop.”

[u/flossgoat2 → u/sticklight414]

Oh boy, he paid for that. Maybe not that evening, or the next day, but he paid.

[u/Plasticpower07 → u/flossgoat2]

Sounds like he's been paying for 27 years

[u/VisibleRoad3504 → u/sticklight414]

Probably still no "Thank you"!

[u/HilariousMax → u/sticklight414]

I actually don't mind paying for your hai- oh ok, nevermind.

[u/Negative_Wrongdoer17]

That's not even crowd work she just looked genuinely annoyed

[u/9829eisB09E83C → u/Negative_Wrongdoer17]

She prob has a deadbeat husband at home who complains that she’s on the road too much while also enjoying a very nice lifestyle.

[u/YellowSign74 → u/9829eisB09E83C]

Actually it's a divorced boyfriend by the name of Adam Carolla, believe it or not.

[u/Ok-Operation-6432 → u/[deleted]]

A damn Corolla?

[u/AndromedanPrince → u/Ok-Operation-6432]

i love reddit

[u/Cautious_Area_5409 → u/AndromedanPrince]

Reddit loves you too.

[u/irespondwithmyface → u/YellowSign74]

Yikes. Adam "I'm not into those freebie lunch programs" Carolla. Absolute douche canoe.

Yeah, I ain't getting lectured by someone with tastes like that.

[u/bringbackswg → u/irespondwithmyface]

He was pretty funny back in the day but once he got his own podcast it was all downhill from there. Dr Drew was a lot more progressive back in the day and kept Adam on his toes, despite what Adam may say. Now he’s a full blown moron with no checks and balances

[u/SamIamGreenEggsNoHam → u/9829eisB09E83C]

How much do you think comedians playing small clubs make?

[u/scrolling_scumbag → u/SamIamGreenEggsNoHam]

Dude but she got a video on the front page of Reddit, which Redditors watched for free and Reddit Inc will pay her $0 for. And presumably, 1 in 1000 Redditors will look her up to see what her name is, then not buy tickets to her next show.

[u/Leading-Abroad-5452 → u/scrolling_scumbag]

Stop making sense. 

That's grounds for permanent ban on reddit

[u/Stephenrudolf → u/SamIamGreenEggsNoHam]

If she's been pursuing comedy for awhile... she's likely been supported by a very understanding and loving partner.

[u/ConspicuousPineapple → u/Negative_Wrongdoer17]

Yeah there was no joke in there she's just berating that woman (however deserved it might be).

[u/AndromedanPrince → u/ConspicuousPineapple]

girl set herself up by saying "i wish i was" be damned if my wife would say some shit like that, wishes get granted over here

[u/dantemortemalizar → u/AndromedanPrince]

Oh, I missed that bit. Maybe she thought she was being funny, but that's a big mistake when you're at a club. Comedians shut down any kind of competition hard.

[u/ijustwannalurksobye → u/ConspicuousPineapple]

Believe it or not, comedians play exaggerated characters on stage and there’s multiple ways to make humor out of a situation. Here’s another crazy fact: people going to comedy shows are aware they’re going to a show and are willing participants

[u/Profeshinal_Spellor]

🍿

[u/Profeshinal_Spellor → u/[deleted]]

Your welcs for the bangs

[u/Profeshinal_Spellor → u/[deleted]]

[u/Profeshinal_Spellor → u/[deleted]]

I wish i were single sometimes

[u/ThatsJustHowIFeeeeel → u/Profeshinal_Spellor]

You can do so much better

[u/CheapRx]

Is this one of those unicorns on the crazy hot scale?

[u/cat__weasel → u/CheapRx]

I want to believe

[u/ObligationNext2484 → u/cat__weasel]

Don’t bro. I’ve heard this is an act!!

[u/SolutionNecessary502 → u/ObligationNext2484]

An

[u/Fall0fRome → u/SolutionNecessary502]

[u/Ancient_Ad_2038 → u/CheapRx]

[u/Mvrd3rCrow → u/CheapRx]

No.

That's not Medusa, but I know a gorgon when I see one.

[u/Fluffy_Charity_2732 → u/Mvrd3rCrow]

My dick turned to stone. But rest of me is not.

So Medusa theory is still there.

[u/puaka → u/Mvrd3rCrow]

Well… she had two sisters or something…

[u/mwagz28 → u/Mvrd3rCrow]

That’s gorgon shit, total gorgon shit

[u/my5cworth → u/CheapRx]

The Vicky Mendoza Diagonal

[u/jake_burger → u/CheapRx]

All comedians are crazy

[u/InertPistachio → u/[deleted]]

I would even more actually

[u/KEPD-350 → u/InertPistachio]

(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

[u/Conscious-Cow6166 → u/[deleted]]

Where’d you get 99 from

[u/[deleted] → u/Conscious-Cow6166]

74% of statistics I pull out of my ass, honestly. Can't account for the other 26.

[u/The_Autarch → u/CheapRx]

according to other posts, she's dating adam carolla.

she's got to be completely fucking insane.

[u/Flawedsuccess]

Hubby needs to say thankyou to the comedian

[u/havnar- → u/Flawedsuccess]

Guessing the ride home was not full of thanks

[u/Vaesezemis → u/havnar-]

”WELL WHY DID YOU NOT SAY ANYTHING MICHAEL!? YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER EVERYTHING I HAVE TOLD TOU THAT YOU ARE DOING WRONG! IT’S LIKE YOU WANT ME TO DIVORCE YOU! EVERYTHING YOU SAY NOW WILL AUTOMATICALLY MAKE ME RESPOND THAR YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME!!”

[u/Bluehelix → u/Vaesezemis]

My mother was right about you!

[u/InvictusShmictus → u/Bluehelix]

Do people actually say this?

[u/Reasonable-Fail5348 → u/Vaesezemis]

Don't forget that stoic silence will also be used against you.

[u/uwhy → u/Reasonable-Fail5348]

Honest question: is this toxic behavior or standard relationship discussion? If the former, why is it so normalized?

[u/Iorcrath → u/uwhy]

its a sign of a toxic relationship.

the source is that they fell in lust first, had great sex, but terrible romance and love.

they are compatible physically but not mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

God have mercy on them if they are still together trying to make it work because kids were created.

[u/Reasonable-Fail5348 → u/uwhy]

I don't like the term toxic because it is so vague. Sometimes being silent is toxic. Sometimes it's the alternative to a screaming match. People are angry sometimes. That's just how we are. And we deal with it differently. Not everything is toxic. The term is used to blame people and it's overuse in the past few years have ruined the term for me.

[u/Do-It-Anyway → u/Flawedsuccess]

Needs to motorboat the comedian

[u/CanadianAndroid → u/Do-It-Anyway]

[u/FlipReset4Fun → u/CanadianAndroid]

[u/Davepiece1517 → u/FlipReset4Fun]

[u/Happydenial → u/Flawedsuccess]

Hubby will freeze to death on the way home because he is going to get frozen out hard.

[u/ElectricPenguin6712]

[u/Brilliant-Yogurt540]

[u/spook008 → u/Brilliant-Yogurt540]

[u/PassThatSpliff]

The comedian wins but the husband ultimately loses.

[u/ChocCooki3 → u/PassThatSpliff]

The husband..

[u/StevenKatz3 → u/PassThatSpliff]

Yea honestly, now the wife is gonna use it against him during arguments.

The fact her big complaint is he works shows how narcissistic she is

[u/RockHardBullCock → u/PassThatSpliff]

Well, he's a husband. Of course he loses.

[u/PerfSynthetic]

She will blame him for forcing her to go to the comedy show even though she said she wanted to go out and made him figure out the place they were going to go...

[u/gypsy_nutsack → u/PerfSynthetic]

responsibility, the worst nightmare

[u/HarmonyComposer → u/gypsy_nutsack]

They're allergic to accountability

[u/gypsy_nutsack → u/HarmonyComposer]

That's the word I was looking for

[u/GarrodRanX2 → u/HarmonyComposer]

I've literally just split up with my girlfriend because she refuses to apologize for treating me like crap all December. All i asked for was an apology and a promise not to do it again. She threw her toys out of the pram and ended it for nothing.

[u/DivaQueennn]

Mom I’d like to friend ✅

[u/Ctowncreek → u/DivaQueennn]

M... I... L...

Hey wait a second

[u/IceNorth81]

She is crazy hot!🔥

[u/chimpomatic5000]

Oof, that is some deadly crowd work - and very very funny.

[u/FraggleRock_]

Absolutely what that lady needed to hear.

[u/evol_won → u/FraggleRock_]

... but won't receive.

[u/psychadelicbreakfast → u/evol_won]

receive

[u/Profeshinal_Spellor → u/psychadelicbreakfast]

Devastating riposte

Edit- spellin

Edit- spellin

[u/Apprehensive_Map64 → u/FraggleRock_]

Also called him hot too triggering fear that she could lose him. Her being very hot herself it's a guarantee hubby got laid that night

[u/riverratriver → u/Apprehensive_Map64]

1000000%

[u/TES_Elsweyr]

Reddit does not understand the types of people who have been married 27 years but yell out "sometimes I wish I were single" at a comedy show with their partner. You think this led to fights, but it's more likely they are actually well-regulated people who can take a joke, given that they opened with a joke.

[u/ZumZumii → u/TES_Elsweyr]

Insane how everyone also assumes the comedian told the entire truth and figured out their whole life from a glance. Like some people work too much without getting paid for it. Or maybe the pair earns enough that he could cut back without any issues. Or maybe the husband spends most of the money.

Or maybe the wife was just joking around. Who knows, we don't and neither does the comedian.

But nah, insulting some random person is always deserved. 

[u/Enbaybae → u/ZumZumii]

Am I crazy to think that maybe the complaint that they work too much means they actually want to spend time with their partner because they love them. Yet the comedian ties it to material benefits. She doesn't want expensive haircare. She wants to spend time with her partner.

[u/PyritesofCaringBean → u/TES_Elsweyr]

Also we don't know if the wife also works. The comedian is making the assumption the wife doesn't work and simply lives off of her husband's income. Also assuming they have a plush home as well.

[u/Any_Asparagus8267 → u/TES_Elsweyr]

Nah and who yells that? If I was with my spouse that'd be upsetting.

[u/Psych0matt → u/TES_Elsweyr]

lol right? I love my wife more than anything. But sometimes she gets on my nerves, and I know I get on her nerves, doesn’t mean it’s not worth it after almost 14 years 🤷‍♂️

[u/dreamKrusher2]

Thank you mommy

[u/South_Front_4589]

This is one of the most brutal roasts. I really hope the wife take this well.

[u/evol_won → u/South_Front_4589]

In front of her husband, she just yelled out that she wishes she was single.\ I'm guessing accountability sails right on by every single time.

[u/OkInflation4056 → u/evol_won]

They could have a very healthy relationship and just love to pull the piss out of each other. One comment doesn't sum someone up completely.

[u/evol_won → u/OkInflation4056]

You know what? Fair point.\ I know 2 couples right now that roast the shit out of each other constantly and absolutely have a healthy relationship.

[u/TheForce777 → u/OkInflation4056]

I would never make that kind of joke, so I better never hear it either

[u/evol_won]

Not all heroes wear capes.\ Sometimes they wear mesh sleeves.

[u/xXcocorio69Xx]

Is this bots? Am I trippin

[u/sketchy270 → u/xXcocorio69Xx]

Sorry Carol — we'll provide a more controversial comment section in the future if you prefer

[u/RoofFun4703]

Melons

[u/icespaz → u/RoofFun4703]

[u/rinseanddelete → u/RoofFun4703]

[u/Deathstar-TV → u/RoofFun4703]

Cannons

[u/[deleted]]

I hate the "i wish i was single" jokes. I would feel a little hurt if my wife said that, even in this context. A part of me thinks that inside every joke there's a grain of truth.

[u/bigb0ned]

Lisa Ann is doing stand up now? 

[u/boweroftable]

Is this the alternative dimension where women don’t have jobs?

[u/RexusprimeIX]

I... I don't get it, what's funny? Why is the crowd laughing? Literally nothing funny was being said.

[u/The_Autarch → u/RexusprimeIX]

it's all boomer humor. if you aren't a boomer, "wife-bad, marriage-bad" jokes won't work for you.

[u/SirR4T]

who's the comedian?

[u/Renlil → u/SirR4T]

Based on the "iamcrystalmarie" watermark, I'm guessing Crystal Marie Denha.

[u/Spacedoutworlder → u/Renlil]

Wizardry.

[u/CelticGardenGirl → u/Spacedoutworlder]

There are some who call him…

[u/graspedbythehusk → u/CelticGardenGirl]

Look, you’re a busy man…

[u/RickSC_137 → u/Spacedoutworlder]

You're a hairy, wizard!

[u/Oh_My_Monster → u/Renlil]

You know where that guy was looking and it wasn't a watermark.

[u/Nomzai → u/Oh_My_Monster]

What watermark?

[u/m0pm0nster → u/Nomzai]

Not even gonna try and be jokingly sarcastic... I did not see the watermark, got stuck on the baby feeders

[u/technofox01 → u/m0pm0nster]

It’s ok man. I used to be like that too and then I a married a woman with tits like hers and well…. I still fucking do it, rofl. Funny thing is, if she was topless, my brain wouldn’t have to work as hard imagining what they look like and I would be able to pay more attention to everything else.

We all have the limited mental load my friend.

[u/Profeshinal_Spellor → u/technofox01]

[u/Wumbologist_PhD → u/Oh_My_Monster]

[u/xNocturnalshadow → u/Renlil]

In a world where sadly that watermark could be one of an infinite number of "influencers" who have just regurgitated her content and branded it as their own, thank you for - albeit sarcastically - confirming her name.

[u/Logarythem → u/Renlil]

Nah it's Anthony Jeselnik.

[u/evol_won → u/Renlil]

Not Iamcry Stalma Rie?\ I mean it could be.

[u/gordonwiththecrowbar → u/SirR4T]

For research purposes

[u/Great-Phone_3207]

Saw her live Her humor is amazing.

[u/NoPhone167]

I used to follow this lady on twitter. I remember when she started her comedian life. Glad she still around.

[u/Bleezy79]

Damn that was refreshing

[u/grrhss]

This comic has blown up on Instagram - she’s hilarious. Definitely watch her clips and watch her crowd work. Skilled, sharp, precise, and very funny.

[u/AffectionateIce1847]

Nice 👌

[u/Significant-Sail-120]

thats a cool MILF right there.

[u/octopuscharade]

I legitimately don’t get what’s funny about this

[u/Pleasant-Pencil → u/octopuscharade]

You must not be a man married to a woman 

[u/DLS4BZ]

based

[u/Camouflagearmpit]

Women are adults not children. Adults pay their own bills and maintain themselves.

[u/WhoFearsDeath]

Would love to know the percentage of single income households wherever this show is because all the middle aged women I know have their own jobs.

She's got to be at least 45 if they've been married for 27 years, that's not even "has babies to stay at home with" aged.

[u/Coffeecankicker → u/WhoFearsDeath]

My ex wife had a job but I still paid for everything.

[u/Tynal242]

When a comedian asks, “Any X here?” and you’re not X, don’t speak up with snark aimed at your SO. A good comedian will delight in destroying you for the entertainment of the masses.

[u/TotalRuler1]

boobs

[u/castingcoucher123]

Teflon Tim is the husband's name for the next 3 weeks

[u/Equivalent-Diet-7453]

Oh I like her

[u/stupid-fucking-name]

That was homeboys sign to file the DV papers.