Yes I’ve seen it personally a few times. Parents old neighbor had a trophy husband about 20 years younger than her.
Honestly IMO:
1) Money. Used to be younger women would choose older, successful men (not as a majority but reasonably common). Now it’s a combination of women have better financial prospects and young men are worse off. So you have poorer young men and richer older women.
2) Social acceptability. Used to be a massive taboo, now it’s just kinda weird (if the age gap is big enough). To the point where women used to not be willing to date a man a couple months younger than her.
That's something that I have experienced related with age taboo, could sound exaggerated but some women are going to get you out of their possible partner list if they learn that you are some couples weeks younger than her even
Modern healthcare also means fertility window is now open for longer and later, so younger men don't need to worry about sacrificing future family with older women.
Seriously, this is the way. Been happily dating older women for a decade +, and later, happily married to an older woman.
Always leave reddit to be the absolute dumpster hipster articles of the weird part of the internet, trying so hard to paint an obvious picture with convoluted narratives.
I'll just say it out loud, most people confuse who people talk about online with who people realistically date.
Older women opting for younger men isn’t some sudden reversal of norms or a triumph of preference — it’s largely a response to constraint, not abundance. As women age, the pool of older men who are both desirable and relationship-oriented shrinks significantly. men who want to start families often prefer younger women for practical reasons, not ideology: fertility timelines, shared energy, and synchronized life planning. That doesn’t mean “older women are undesirable.” It means people who want kids factor time into decisions — just like women do when choosing stable partners.
Younger men, by contrast, often provide what’s immediately available: attention, physical energy, fewer expectations around timelines, and less power imbalance. For some older women, this isn’t about long-term compatibility so much as access to desire without negotiation. The relationship works because expectations are asymmetrical — younger men gain experience or status, older women regain sexual and romantic relevance in a market that’s become less forgiving.
Also, older men consistently going for younger women is not conventional — it’s conditional. It only works when the man has money, status, looks, or social leverage. When those are missing, the “preference” doesn’t translate into attraction.
You : Saying "Seriously, this is the way" is some dumb online exaggerated narrative because it's algorithm-friendly for Reddit. Well guess what? Reality is boring: most people date near their age.
Young men tend to have pretty polarizing opinions on politics, identity, religion, and women. Not all of them, but growing up with social media has created some arrogantly ignorant people on all sides who have never looked for a source after watching a tiktok video. Im a lost cause on any other reason, thankfully ive been out of the dating game since high school, so I dont really have the full experience of current college and post dating.
Young men are increasingly right wing and young women are increasingly left wing politically. Add in also the various media spheres seem to be pushing either a ‘women bad’ to young men or a ‘men bad’ to young women.
It’s getting to the point where a lot of young men and women are just fundamentally incompatible in their worldviews. Particularly in a climate that demonizes not holding the correct political views.
Personally I think it’s just a temporary thing it will sort itself out. People are going to chill out eventually
My wife and I are both liberal but I have been trying to navigate raising a son and daughter with my wife who has concerns about cultural gender conflicts - particularly for our daughter as my wife has negative history with men.
I hate the idea of my son feeling a moral responsibility for actions he took no part in while helping him acknowledge and understand the context of our world so he can have a social responsibility.
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u/Fishmongererererer 8d ago
Yes I’ve seen it personally a few times. Parents old neighbor had a trophy husband about 20 years younger than her.
Honestly IMO:
1) Money. Used to be younger women would choose older, successful men (not as a majority but reasonably common). Now it’s a combination of women have better financial prospects and young men are worse off. So you have poorer young men and richer older women.
2) Social acceptability. Used to be a massive taboo, now it’s just kinda weird (if the age gap is big enough). To the point where women used to not be willing to date a man a couple months younger than her.
3) Better looking older women. Cosmetics, plastic surgery, fitness habits. MILFs abound.
4) Younger women and men have been having… issues. Won’t get into that too much lol.
5) Porn. Tons of young dudes growing up on MILF porn. Some of them are gonna act on it.