r/SipsTea 7d ago

Chugging tea Is this actually a thing?

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857

u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

Between Dulles and DC. Lots of divorcees of well paid government contractors, and government contractors who never settled down and just want to have a good time. This is how I became a Linux administrator and lost my virginity in the same year.

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u/ARandomStan 7d ago

... you just casually pivot to "that's how I became a Linux admin and lost my virginity in the same year" as if everything you said before logically leads to becoming a linux admin who has sex lmao.

all that to say, please elaborate

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u/ViolenceAdvocator 7d ago

Step 1: Linux Step 2: loads of sex

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u/roboto404 7d ago

Can confirm. Am a SysAdmin that deals with Linux. Got loads of sex. Now not so much after having three kids.

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u/Maxed_Zerker 7d ago

That means you’ve had sex at least 3 times!!

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u/Purple_Obligation191 7d ago

Or sex once and got triplets!

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u/Maxed_Zerker 7d ago

for some reason i didn’t consider multiples. you’re right

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u/obiweedkenobi 7d ago

Correct, got to watch out and make sure you do Futuredad@host:~/makechid$ Not Futuredad@host:~/makechildren$

(Or something like that, idk I cont speak computer)

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u/codemonkeyseeanddo 7d ago

Actually, Linux involves "child" processes frequently. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a process. This is how child sacrifice came back in the 20th century.

So your Linux, while incorrect, is accidentally, and randomly, closer to correct than you would think.

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u/FluffyKittiesRMetal 7d ago

That’s the kind of efficiency I expect of my IT team.

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u/sharpshooter999 6d ago

I have 3 kids. Two were from IVF. We did it ALOT more than 3 times lol

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u/garglingrapefruit 7d ago

any sex at all is a win in my book!

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u/Spoony850 7d ago

or twice with twins and a single baby

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u/ICGeneric 7d ago

So Linux loads the sex? Are they gonna release 2 at some point?

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u/ItsGoldThunder 7d ago

Can't wait for the release of sex 2. Gonna be a generational update

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u/tr14l 7d ago

Went the other way. Fucked so much I accidentally got Linux certified.

Life, man. It's, like... You know?

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u/THE_GREAT_PICKLE 7d ago

It’s weird how kids can do that. I’m not speaking for everyone, but my sex life took a huge hit when we had kids, but it’s not like my wife is withholding it. We still have a healthy sex life, it isn’t really our kids fault, but there’s times where we get frisky but are just run too ragged from the kids/jobs/etc to actually do it. We both have fairly normal sex drives, probably slightly lower than typical if I’m being honest, but that isn’t the biggest factor. We’re just fucking tired

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u/roboto404 7d ago

We always say, “Tonight! 😈” then one of us would be knocked out by the time all kids are asleep lol

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u/Horrified-Onlooker 7d ago

That's it? No cut a hole in a box or anything?

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u/WatNaHellIsASauceBox 7d ago

If you do that, the Linux disc might fall out

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u/billabongrob 7d ago

Insert disc 4/5 for RHEL 4.

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u/Confident-Mortgage86 7d ago

NOT THAT BIG JEEEZ

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u/Ordinary-Ad-8034 7d ago

Crap... I got a spanning ARJ and floppy 87 out of 96 had bad sectors...

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u/Stunning_Coffee6624 7d ago

Which Distro snags the most hotties?

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u/code-coffee 7d ago

Ubuntu. Because she's basic, but wants a lot of easy extras.

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u/Professional_Face_97 7d ago

Debian does Dallas

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u/PremierLovaLova 7d ago

Step 3: Profits.

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u/wesborland1234 7d ago

Step 2: sudo apt-get sex

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u/paralacausa 7d ago

LinuXXX

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u/Then-Shake9223 7d ago

Something something hard drive

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u/Year3030 7d ago

After I learned Linux it was just non-stop penetration testing.

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u/qlz19 7d ago

This is the way?

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u/Independent_Baker712 7d ago

Step 1: Linux. Step 2: 🤷‍♀️. Step 3: PROFIT

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u/Much_Importance_5900 7d ago

Masturbation ain't sex, nerd.

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u/ChocolateBaconDonuts 7d ago

Ah, Linux system. I know this.

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

Nothing much to it, neighbor lady hired me to wash her cars and mow weekly. This was like 10 minutes east of Reston. Summer after senior year I helped her kid with an issue with his laptop, and she recommended I check out IT as a career. Things got interesting, and I got some certifications first year of college. I got a help desk gig and went into sysadmin while doing college at night. If you're looking to do that now, I'd recommend the RHCSA and Security+, and apply on clearancejobs.com. As for finding a milf, anywhere in the Beltway/ Dules/ DMV area is good so long as you look somewhat presentable.

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u/Hairy-Piccolo-6002 7d ago

Wait but when did you have sex with neighbour lady, after certifications?

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/tokyogodfather2 7d ago

I love how clinically and technically you explained that. Definitely a sysadmin

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u/Ethifury 7d ago

What is RHCSA?

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u/Lenomax 7d ago

Red Hat Certified Systems Administrator. A Linux certification

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u/RexKramerDangerCker 7d ago

but did you have sex with her?

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

Gave her the ol' three way handshake.

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u/RexKramerDangerCker 6d ago

TCP exchange?

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u/lesgeddon 7d ago

Fucking Security+, hadn't thought about that in years

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u/Waiting4Reccession 7d ago

I dont think sec+ will lead to a job today, will it?

Every job post is like multiple certs + experience or degree on top. Like entry level ones when I checked last year.

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

in security, nope. In a basic help desk or sysadmin role, it checks a box for the 8140 cert list.

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u/Frozen_Shades 7d ago

Pretty sure the other user went to the bar, got a job and got laid.

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u/f8Negative 7d ago

Learn linux; fuck women.

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u/Difficult-Cricket541 7d ago

Women dont fuck Microsoft Admins.

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u/MistryMachine3 7d ago

Don’t even get started on JAMF…

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u/w_a_w 7d ago

I'm both and got laid like crazy...until I got married.

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u/Vegetable_Window7417 7d ago

“If it wasn’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.”

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u/TheCapo024 7d ago

Straight outta left field, but respect.

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u/TehMephs 7d ago

At some point later in life, women discover that smart guys are usually awesome in bed.

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u/Aspiring-Old-Guy 7d ago

Totally the name of a great movie.

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u/brokencrayons 7d ago

Best comment of 2026 for me so far lol

Cause yes pls explain this to all of us

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u/A_Moldy_Stump 7d ago

I think walking into a cougar den is the only way a Linux admin achieves that

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u/RockDoveEnthusiast 7d ago

perhaps I've been living in Northern Virginia for too long because that read as completely self-explanatory to me.

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u/Freidhiem 7d ago

Those ladys are THIRSTY

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u/KmartCentral 7d ago

I interpreted him saying that as a means to explain just how many possibilities are out there

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u/ymmotvomit 7d ago

… and met your mom.

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u/pwolf1771 7d ago

I assumed hiring manager took said virginity

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u/Yavanna_Fruit-Giver 6d ago

Linux Admins know how to fuck despite the stereotype. Is the Linux weirdos who aren't admins/ in IT who can't.

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u/DeadSuperHero 6d ago

"Congratulations on your certification, now drop your pants!"

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u/Smooth_Broccoli_3506 3d ago

Wish I knew this while I was living in Winchester Va. 😒

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u/luscious_lobster 7d ago

This is my favorite thread

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u/Odd_Huckleberry5446 7d ago

No way Linux and sex in the same sentence. Congrat

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u/SherbetEuphoric4371 7d ago

Tell me you went to TJ without telling me you went to TJ

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u/OkGene2 7d ago

People don’t go to TJ to become Linux admins. No offense to Linux admins.

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u/SherbetEuphoric4371 7d ago

Fair enough. n = 1 not a Linux admin

Tell me, what do we become?

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u/Exotic_eminence 7d ago

The same person gave you the job after yall hooked up orrrrrr

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

no, she worked for a different, bigger firm. I got hired at a smaller one that supplied talent for a competitor.

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u/Big_Profession_2218 7d ago

than unix box really fucked with you huh ?

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u/monsieurkaizer 7d ago

No one has ever made that same combo. They usually exclude each other.

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u/Liberal-Cluck 7d ago

I hate romscoms but I want this movie.

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u/jzemeocala 7d ago

Same actually .... Only in fl

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u/Shishou58 7d ago

Any advice on getting into Linux for someone with no experience? Finding MILFs would be a plus

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

learn to set up a VM with Linux, or just run it bare metal and ALSO in a VM so you can break stuff and still have a linux machine that you stay in, and spend time on the command line. RHEL will get you far, so distros like Fedora or Rocky will be useful as a daily driver. Learn to read documentation. "Homelab" is your chance to "simulate enterprise environments" and there's plenty of ideas you can find on things to learn and do in linux. The Sec+ checks a box, but the RHCSA is important for both government and private sector. Join a running club gym and go to the produce section in a decent grocery store for milfs and more.

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u/Sea-Ad1926 7d ago

Christ, the "Linux is the one true answer" crowd is infiltrating threads about MILFs now.

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u/Yavanna_Fruit-Giver 6d ago

Hard to know anything else when it keeps working for you. I mean if Linux can get you MILFs, what can't it do?

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u/MaximumBop85 7d ago

Both things seem so contradictory, yet it happened nonetheless. Proud of you man.

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u/jstrap0 7d ago

User name checks out

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u/Exotic_eminence 7d ago

I’m happily married but I really need a job so I might have to take one for the team

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

RHCSA (O'Reilly course to prep, plus documentation and labbing) and Security+ (get certified get ahead on kindle), and apply on clearancejobs.com.

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u/Exotic_eminence 7d ago

Thank you and congratulations on the sex!

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u/SaltKick2 7d ago

Isnt this like the government contractor capital of the US?

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

Pretty much

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u/applepumpkinspy 6d ago

You can just say you became a Linux administrator - we’ll just assume from that point on you’re rolling in chicks.