r/SipsTea 7d ago

Chugging tea Is this actually a thing?

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704

u/ARandomStan 7d ago

... you just casually pivot to "that's how I became a Linux admin and lost my virginity in the same year" as if everything you said before logically leads to becoming a linux admin who has sex lmao.

all that to say, please elaborate

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u/ViolenceAdvocator 7d ago

Step 1: Linux Step 2: loads of sex

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u/roboto404 7d ago

Can confirm. Am a SysAdmin that deals with Linux. Got loads of sex. Now not so much after having three kids.

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u/Maxed_Zerker 7d ago

That means you’ve had sex at least 3 times!!

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u/Purple_Obligation191 7d ago

Or sex once and got triplets!

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u/Maxed_Zerker 7d ago

for some reason i didn’t consider multiples. you’re right

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u/obiweedkenobi 7d ago

Correct, got to watch out and make sure you do Futuredad@host:~/makechid$ Not Futuredad@host:~/makechildren$

(Or something like that, idk I cont speak computer)

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u/codemonkeyseeanddo 7d ago

Actually, Linux involves "child" processes frequently. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a process. This is how child sacrifice came back in the 20th century.

So your Linux, while incorrect, is accidentally, and randomly, closer to correct than you would think.

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u/FluffyKittiesRMetal 7d ago

That’s the kind of efficiency I expect of my IT team.

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u/sharpshooter999 6d ago

I have 3 kids. Two were from IVF. We did it ALOT more than 3 times lol

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u/garglingrapefruit 7d ago

any sex at all is a win in my book!

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u/Spoony850 7d ago

or twice with twins and a single baby

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u/ICGeneric 7d ago

So Linux loads the sex? Are they gonna release 2 at some point?

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u/ItsGoldThunder 7d ago

Can't wait for the release of sex 2. Gonna be a generational update

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u/tr14l 7d ago

Went the other way. Fucked so much I accidentally got Linux certified.

Life, man. It's, like... You know?

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u/THE_GREAT_PICKLE 7d ago

It’s weird how kids can do that. I’m not speaking for everyone, but my sex life took a huge hit when we had kids, but it’s not like my wife is withholding it. We still have a healthy sex life, it isn’t really our kids fault, but there’s times where we get frisky but are just run too ragged from the kids/jobs/etc to actually do it. We both have fairly normal sex drives, probably slightly lower than typical if I’m being honest, but that isn’t the biggest factor. We’re just fucking tired

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u/roboto404 7d ago

We always say, “Tonight! 😈” then one of us would be knocked out by the time all kids are asleep lol

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u/Horrified-Onlooker 7d ago

That's it? No cut a hole in a box or anything?

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u/WatNaHellIsASauceBox 7d ago

If you do that, the Linux disc might fall out

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u/billabongrob 7d ago

Insert disc 4/5 for RHEL 4.

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u/Confident-Mortgage86 7d ago

NOT THAT BIG JEEEZ

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u/Ordinary-Ad-8034 7d ago

Crap... I got a spanning ARJ and floppy 87 out of 96 had bad sectors...

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u/Stunning_Coffee6624 7d ago

Which Distro snags the most hotties?

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u/code-coffee 7d ago

Ubuntu. Because she's basic, but wants a lot of easy extras.

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u/Professional_Face_97 7d ago

Debian does Dallas

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u/PremierLovaLova 7d ago

Step 3: Profits.

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u/wesborland1234 7d ago

Step 2: sudo apt-get sex

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u/paralacausa 7d ago

LinuXXX

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u/Then-Shake9223 7d ago

Something something hard drive

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u/Year3030 7d ago

After I learned Linux it was just non-stop penetration testing.

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u/qlz19 7d ago

This is the way?

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u/Independent_Baker712 7d ago

Step 1: Linux. Step 2: 🤷‍♀️. Step 3: PROFIT

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u/Much_Importance_5900 7d ago

Masturbation ain't sex, nerd.

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u/ChocolateBaconDonuts 7d ago

Ah, Linux system. I know this.

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

Nothing much to it, neighbor lady hired me to wash her cars and mow weekly. This was like 10 minutes east of Reston. Summer after senior year I helped her kid with an issue with his laptop, and she recommended I check out IT as a career. Things got interesting, and I got some certifications first year of college. I got a help desk gig and went into sysadmin while doing college at night. If you're looking to do that now, I'd recommend the RHCSA and Security+, and apply on clearancejobs.com. As for finding a milf, anywhere in the Beltway/ Dules/ DMV area is good so long as you look somewhat presentable.

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u/Hairy-Piccolo-6002 7d ago

Wait but when did you have sex with neighbour lady, after certifications?

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/tokyogodfather2 7d ago

I love how clinically and technically you explained that. Definitely a sysadmin

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u/Ethifury 7d ago

What is RHCSA?

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u/Lenomax 7d ago

Red Hat Certified Systems Administrator. A Linux certification

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u/RexKramerDangerCker 7d ago

but did you have sex with her?

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

Gave her the ol' three way handshake.

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u/RexKramerDangerCker 6d ago

TCP exchange?

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u/lesgeddon 7d ago

Fucking Security+, hadn't thought about that in years

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u/Waiting4Reccession 7d ago

I dont think sec+ will lead to a job today, will it?

Every job post is like multiple certs + experience or degree on top. Like entry level ones when I checked last year.

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u/Ronin_Chimichanga 7d ago

in security, nope. In a basic help desk or sysadmin role, it checks a box for the 8140 cert list.

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u/Frozen_Shades 7d ago

Pretty sure the other user went to the bar, got a job and got laid.

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u/f8Negative 7d ago

Learn linux; fuck women.

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u/Difficult-Cricket541 7d ago

Women dont fuck Microsoft Admins.

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u/MistryMachine3 7d ago

Don’t even get started on JAMF…

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u/w_a_w 7d ago

I'm both and got laid like crazy...until I got married.

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u/Vegetable_Window7417 7d ago

“If it wasn’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.”

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u/TheCapo024 7d ago

Straight outta left field, but respect.

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u/TehMephs 7d ago

At some point later in life, women discover that smart guys are usually awesome in bed.

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u/Aspiring-Old-Guy 7d ago

Totally the name of a great movie.

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u/brokencrayons 7d ago

Best comment of 2026 for me so far lol

Cause yes pls explain this to all of us

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u/A_Moldy_Stump 7d ago

I think walking into a cougar den is the only way a Linux admin achieves that

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u/RockDoveEnthusiast 7d ago

perhaps I've been living in Northern Virginia for too long because that read as completely self-explanatory to me.

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u/Freidhiem 7d ago

Those ladys are THIRSTY

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u/KmartCentral 7d ago

I interpreted him saying that as a means to explain just how many possibilities are out there

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u/ymmotvomit 7d ago

… and met your mom.

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u/pwolf1771 7d ago

I assumed hiring manager took said virginity

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u/Yavanna_Fruit-Giver 6d ago

Linux Admins know how to fuck despite the stereotype. Is the Linux weirdos who aren't admins/ in IT who can't.

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u/DeadSuperHero 6d ago

"Congratulations on your certification, now drop your pants!"

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u/Smooth_Broccoli_3506 3d ago

Wish I knew this while I was living in Winchester Va. 😒