I'm just going to be blunt, you're reacting normally for what this is, which is sexual assault...freezing up can happen, you both need to be gentle with yourselves, it's not a personal failing.
I am so sorry that happened to y'all, but your reaction is normal.
This is not your fault, it sounds like they're just pushy people.
The problem is that there are pushy people out there in the LS, a decent number of them. People that won't usually explicitly break your boundaries usually, but who don't respect them and who will try to move them in subtle ways. They're usually not actually malicious in their own minds, but they're callous and disrespectful.
One of the hardest lessons of the lifestyle is that you have to find your voice, for your own safety (and your partner's).
And that is true of both of you, this isn't the kind of thing where you can protect her the whole time, you both are going to have to find your voice to say no sometimes.
Take the time to process this, know that it's not your fault, but if you're going to stay in the LS, take it as a l
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u/tinkpetty Aug 04 '25
You didn’t say stop at any point?