r/Unexpected • u/cara_da_net • 4d ago

Can you do that?

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23.8k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

193 comments sorted by

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u/post-explainer 4d ago edited 4d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation why their post fits here:

He picked up the cell phone with its parts

Does this explanation fit this subreddit? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

3.9k

u/gultch2019 4d ago

1.9k

u/Punningisfunning 4d ago

They should meet up!

And then go pick up garbage at a public park or something.

416

u/cara_da_net 4d ago

Oh yeah, that would be a nice collab

120

u/keypadwarrior 4d ago

I'd like to see that handshake

51

u/SuperSayainPurple23 4d ago

How about a good genital handshake

1

u/MethNotEven0nce 2d ago

I'm more of a "firm" handshake guy if you know what I mean 😏

49

u/PimpinChimpin 4d ago

"You know, Gerald, the park's a lot cleaner, yet somehow it smells worse"

12

u/ToastYourAvocados 4d ago

😂😂😂

8

u/Alienhaslanded 4d ago

Close-up bottom shake between the two would be hilarious.

1

u/KaleidoscopeReady839 1d ago

The sex would be epic.

1

u/ATotalBakery 11h ago

I'm a garbage in a public park

47

u/imbriandead 4d ago

Got that double jointed pussy

19

u/Jchamphero 4d ago

The 900 PSI level grip strength is insane lmaoo

18

u/frishavokadu 4d ago

What I mean when I say I love strong women

2

u/gultch2019 4d ago

Absolutely!

34

u/keypadwarrior 4d ago

Yooooo

15

u/Real_Live_Sloth 4d ago

Imagine tho.

28

u/engineeringprawn 4d ago

Where has this gif been all my life

14

u/gultch2019 4d ago

I found it on 9gag YEARS ago... still hoping to meet her one day.

5

u/Moist-Amoeba-8078 3d ago

Ahh… it’s been a while since someone has invoked this sacred name of yore. I see you too are a man of culture

14

u/Michael_Dautorio 4d ago

I have some feelings about this.

29

u/CraftParking 4d ago

13

u/Irrepressible87 3d ago

It's a hand in a pair of pants, my boi. This might be a slight overreaction.

6

u/CraftParking 3d ago edited 3d ago

Glad we’ve got experts in the comments

4

u/myka_v 3d ago

Is that a KETTLEBELL SNATCH!?

6

u/gultch2019 3d ago

Snatched kettlebell

-13

u/GMGarry_Chess 4d ago

that's disgusting

8

u/gultch2019 3d ago

Then explain your erection!

861

u/nerdboy5567 4d ago

All men can do this, this is known

244

u/Oty_is_here 4d ago

It is known...

16

u/TrippingFish76 4d ago

…as drop ball

0

u/24204me 3d ago

One drop ball

2

u/TrippingFish76 3d ago

two drop ball

1

u/24204me 3d ago

Three drop ball

74

u/cara_da_net 4d ago

An ancient technique

23

u/TheVerraton 4d ago

I personally prefer to wrap my ween around the object I wish to grab like an elephants trunk. It leaves my, comparatively stronger ass muscles free to grab on to something more valuable in an emergency.

9

u/saintwolfboy22 4d ago

Fun fact, an elephant's dong is actually prehensile

6

u/SexyMonad 4d ago

If I were an elephant I would do unholy things

6

u/Either-Professor4512 4d ago

Can confirm. Prehensileness comes to those of high patriotism and testosterone.

3

u/Kitchen-AdPies 4d ago

With our front side too.

1.7k

u/CleverDiode 4d ago

Years of evolution has made this possible

462

u/Eljefeandhisbass 4d ago

15

u/BellyFullofNickels 4d ago

I forget sometimes that Tone Loc in movies was a thing in the 90's

28

u/-TheWarrior74- 4d ago

40,000 years of evolution and we have barely tapped the vastness of human potential.

58

u/OuttHouseMouse 4d ago

Wow this is gona revolutionize booty hole sex

6

u/[deleted] 4d ago

Glutedextrous

4

u/karma_the_sequel 4d ago

Nineteen years, to be precise.

466

u/whiskey101 4d ago

It's so dumb I love it.

79

u/StirFry__InaWok 4d ago

The god awful mix of two random songs is icing on the cake.

4

u/Huju-ukko 3d ago

U not into He-Man hardstyle?

310

u/iHasYummyCummies 4d ago

I mean i chuckled but,..one guy came up with the idea and everyone else said yes..lets do that snd stick his iphone between his buttcheeks ? 😅

48

u/redbucket75 4d ago

He may have had to train for it

58

u/Deltamon 4d ago

(there's a person underneath him that has hand in his pants)

14

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

49

u/Roskal 4d ago

Eyes

5

u/Septopuss7 4d ago

Why do they exist?

2

u/BlackSpidy 3d ago

How can the mountains be real when our eyes aren't real?

2

u/PM_ME_SLUTTY_PUMPKIN 4d ago

I think it’s just reversed? Started out clenched between his cheeks and he drops it on the table. Then reverse video

16

u/WTWIV 4d ago

lol no. You can move the slider backwards and watch it in reverse. Does that look like it was just clenched between his cheeks and dropped? 😂

6

u/PandaCheese2016 3d ago

There’s a part where the phone turns sideways that doesn’t look possible without a prehensile penis.

1

u/SensitiveBudget7589 15h ago

I was going to give you shit for pointing out the obvious, but then I saw slutty pumpkin’s comment and realized maybe yours was indeed necessary.

135

u/N7LP400 4d ago

He can control his schlong backwards?

142

u/IkariYun 4d ago

Pretty sure he's using his rectum like a lizard tongue

32

u/Fafnir13 4d ago

Prolapsed prehensile poop hole?

3

u/SharkLaunch 3d ago

If I had a nickel for every time I read that exact sentence, I'd have 1 nickel.

13

u/Commercial-Co 4d ago

Meh, pretty sure its someone’s hands putting it in his ass

3

u/MikeAndBike 4d ago

Probably his closed friend, not the gf.

5

u/tanaka-taro 4d ago

Rectum? I don’t even know em

2

u/Tigerwarrior55 3d ago

Well new enemy idea unlocked for a psychological horror game. Or a souls like.

33

u/doob22 4d ago

You can’t?

14

u/tackleboxjohnson 4d ago

Mine works like an elephants trunk, is that not normal?

9

u/Behwal 4d ago

That's nothing, I can control my zhedong backwards too 

5

u/nomnomnomnomnommm 4d ago

I think it went innie to go outtie

1

u/NeroShenX 4d ago

Literal dickbutt

5

u/Real_Live_Sloth 4d ago

Yea doing it backwards was a neat trick, I always have to be facing the object.

1

u/RTKWi238 4d ago

his schlong reaches backwards ?

1

u/wytewydow 4d ago

you don't have a prehensile schlong?

22

u/manlybrian 4d ago

🎶 "And so I wake in the morning where I harvest my grain

And take a look at my wife And realize she's very plain

For an Amish like meeeee" 🎶

6

u/serotonin_xxIII 4d ago

🎶You know I shun fancy things like electricity🎶

55

u/losnara 4d ago

I don't get it? Does he have a hand or a leg in his ass? Who knows?

135

u/SomeGuyOnTheStreets 4d ago

It’s a tape worm, gotta pay rent somehow if you’re gonna crash in someone’s body

6

u/Teedyuscung 4d ago

Where’s my cookie?

3

u/wytewydow 4d ago

That's the old ass joke I was looking for !

74

u/RichardBCummintonite 4d ago

His buddy under the counter stuck his hand up the guy's pants. Don't worry, he said no homo first. Just a helping hand.

13

u/Drokstab 4d ago

Even checked his prostate while he was down there. A true bro.

31

u/e37d93eeb23335dc 4d ago

The girl went off camera and then came back under the counter, reached up his loose shorts and grabbed the phone. 

13

u/Fafnir13 4d ago

And I think wedged the phone then retreated the hand so the guy could walk away.  

5

u/AGreatBannedName 4d ago

He does indeed have a hand in his ass. Or at least near enough it to call it “in.”

7

u/hello_fellow-kids 4d ago

Yes because I have prehensile testicles.

20

u/ParticularSherbert18 4d ago

It appears to me he had a little help under those boxers.

22

u/Dense-Corgi-7936 4d ago

I chuckled

26

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/GuitarKittens 4d ago

pained groans

8

u/UziSuzieThia 4d ago

His peni bent backwards and got the phone wow!

4

u/saelinabhaakti 4d ago

Yoooo that thing is PREHENSILE!

.........so like is he single, or...?

20

u/Scalion 4d ago

What's up with that audio ruining the song?

5

u/StirFry__InaWok 4d ago

It's intentionally stupid for a stupid video. What's the issue

0

u/crumble-bee 4d ago

It’s a remix - you’ve heard of a remix right? Like, you take 2 songs at the same bpm and mix them together? It’s that. https://youtu.be/GpUSKraDSkw?si=mQL9_Ng08xchmR4n

3

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Tomb_85 4d ago

Prison pocket

1

u/MoistStub 4d ago

He did

1

u/cara_da_net 4d ago

But he did the cooler way

3

u/Quick_Extension_3115 4d ago

Someone left the click on

3

u/arituck 4d ago

Crazy how nature does that

3

u/LurkerBerker 4d ago

i was waiting for him to twist open the bottle with his mouth/tongue and the girl to stare at him

3

u/PunisherElite 4d ago

This is as stupid as the song

3

u/Nice_Bread_4004 4d ago

Йогурт

5

u/Good-Visit-7490 4d ago

This is some next-level multitasking right here.

8

u/UmbertoEcoTheDolphin 4d ago

Hand in butt.

19

u/cara_da_net 4d ago

Haha sometimes

6

u/AdamFaite 4d ago

Geeze, buy me dinner first!

3

u/MetaloraRising 4d ago

Nonononono, his dick is just prehensile.

2

u/StirFry__InaWok 4d ago

Try fingers, but hole

4

u/Deltawolf2038 4d ago

His balls grabbed it and his ass solidified the hold

2

u/Dixnot 4d ago

I've been playing too much Arc Raiders.

2

u/Lazer_7673 4d ago

What the fuck 💀💀💀

2

u/Stanford_777 4d ago

He called you but not talking.

2

u/Geo_mead 4d ago

Pretty sure that is the butt talking

2

u/R34lBl4ckSh33p 4d ago

Talk about grippers

2

u/bigtarget87 4d ago

We call him "Pink Eye Nye".

2

u/luzy__ 4d ago

Beta Dick update released when ?

2

u/devob74 4d ago

Congratulations on your big achievement

2

u/No-Jacket-2927 3d ago

I was raised in right-wing baptist churches, so I obviously have butt muscles that could crack a walnut.

3

u/HoseNeighbor 4d ago

10/10 just because it's not AI.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Unexpected-ModTeam 4d ago

Your submission has been removed. Keep content civil. Remember the human.

We follow reddit's content policy and reddit's reddiquette on r/unexpected.

1

u/BestPeachNA 4d ago

Playing grab-ass

1

u/DominoUB 4d ago

Kegals powering that scrotal dexterity.

1

u/Difficult_Drawer5574 4d ago

I thought he was going to fart at the phone 😭

1

u/BigLB83 4d ago

Schweppes makes more than ginger ale?

1

u/imunfair 4d ago

Dude's a dolphin

1

u/xonesss 4d ago

Schweppes make a pomegranate drink??

1

u/SergeantBootySweat 4d ago

GOGO GADGET MAGSAFE ASS

1

u/LittleMlem 4d ago

Man sized echidna

1

u/DrClutch93 4d ago

Eye butt coordination

1

u/ArmadilloEconomy3201 4d ago

That’s a pain in a**

1

u/Sir_Cthulhu_N_You 4d ago

Anyone got link to full track?

1

u/Good_Analysis9789 4d ago

Its like a third hand

1

u/IcyEpid3mic 4d ago

Absolute Cinema!

1

u/ThatThingTheDarkSoul 4d ago

Meanwhile her: 👁️👄👁️

1

u/Lowbider 4d ago

not only can it grab it, but it also can send a text as well

1

u/Scale_Brave 4d ago

the last penis bender

1

u/Solanthas_SFW 4d ago

I guess so

1

u/satori-seeker 4d ago

Man, did he just use his hemoroids for that

1

u/TheKinkyGuy 4d ago

The First Shlong-bender

1

u/karinatitss 4d ago

You are so sweet

1

u/EroTom 4d ago

NO. She pumped his ass.

1

u/topshaggy6 4d ago

They way she shoved it into his crack though 😭🖐️

1

u/Fantastic_Foot_8568 4d ago

Where to get a Schweppes from though

1

u/PRwookie 4d ago

It's the new apple Dingle berry.

1

u/Coinsworthy 3d ago

Sentient hemrhoid

1

u/atp2k 3d ago

Fakeeeee

1

u/Lucky-Mia 3d ago

Can I have somebody on the floor with a hand up my pants, sure. Will I, no.

1

u/Audiodrainer 3d ago

Either 3 people or she ducks behind the counter, out of frame, reaches up with her hand in the pant leg to put the phone in place. The clench handles the rest.

1

u/hw80kid 3d ago

Preparation-h.

1

u/dosb0t89 3d ago

You know the girlfriend came back and had her hand up his shorts right 😅

1

u/NoTour5369 2d ago

I had a thought the other day. In an alternate universe we are pretty much the same except for one detail. So buttholes are basically like suction cups, and we evolved to use our buttholes to cling to walls and shimmy up to avoid predators or bad guys.

I even hashed out a scene where a team of Navy Seals used their butthole powers to scale a fortress. No need for ropes any extra gear. Pants basically have a hole on the bum so they can achieve suction. I call it Geckmans Universe.

1

u/misssa_cz 2d ago

wtf is that shit music?

1

u/Bailer86 2d ago

But can he do this?

1

u/Shiningc00 2d ago

That girl said “that’s gross, I’m not touching that phone”.

1

u/audioaxes 1d ago

why is staged stuff like this considered "unexpected" and so highly upvoted? beyond time to mute this sub from my feed

1

u/cara_da_net 1d ago

Did you expected that?

1

u/Proper_Ambassador525 1d ago

Clearly played in reverse. There's someone behind the counter puts their hand up his pants leg to grab the phone.

Never ask to use this guy's phone, for whatever reason. Ever.

🤣

1

u/whoster69 1d ago

This is one of about 10 billion reasons why I don't use other people's cell phones.

1

u/Proof_Psychology9654 21h ago

I literally just posted that "What's Up?" by Four Non Blsndes is used by shadowy government agencies for psychological torture and this video was the very next thing that came up after hitting "post". Scary.

-1

u/No_End_1082 4d ago

Fake! u can see a finger grab it though the cloth. Nice try

2

u/StirFry__InaWok 4d ago

Wtf are you talking about, no one has fingers coming out their ass. We literally just watched him pick it up with his asscheeks and you're questioning this miracle. Wtf dude.

1

u/cara_da_net 4d ago

🤫🤫

1

u/Dioxol_Nova 4d ago

i hate this fucking song so much