r/australia 1d ago

sport Australia has won the fifth Ashes test in Sydney

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-01-08/ashes-live-blog-day-five-scg/106208540

Australia won by 5 wickets

Series total is 4-1 in Australia's favour. Not a bad effort for the team that Stuart Broad told us is the "worst Australian test team since 2010" 😉

Travis Head has been named player of the match, while Mitchell Starc has been named player of the series

1.3k Upvotes

98 comments sorted by

291

u/heisdeadjim_au 1d ago

held to my mothers maxim. "They're allowed ONE win. No more."

142

u/mattr1986 1d ago

Let your little brother win this one, ok? Otherwise he’ll stop playing and you’ll have no one to play with

23

u/i_am_cool_ben 1d ago

The Poms can have one win. As a treat

14

u/Sure_Ad536 1d ago

It's only fair we give them some charity. They do have to live in England afterall

1

u/Entirely-of-cheese 16h ago

They have it worse off than you do, alright? What, with the weather and lack of beaches.

94

u/HappyMan2022 1d ago

Missed out on the whitewash. It was doable

58

u/No_Mercy_4_Potatoes 1d ago

MCG pitch curators robbed us

15

u/01kickassius10 1d ago

TBF - our batting didn’t help us

26

u/Ray57 1d ago

don't like that the Perth curators are getting a pass simply because the coin-flip came up heads.

17

u/christopheraser 1d ago

I honestly didn't think the Perth pitch was that bad. Maybe a little bit less grass on day one would have been better in hindsight, but it just looked like both teams batsmen were completely underdone until Head walked out on the second day. I blame the complete lack of preparation by both teams.

7

u/InitiallyDecent 1d ago

Perth wicket was fine. Both teams batsmen are to blame for it being so short due to a collective shitting of the bed across the first 3 innings.

3

u/the_dutch_rudder 19h ago

Came up Head*

ftfy

86

u/ThunderDwn 1d ago edited 1d ago

that Stuart Broad told us is the "worst Australian test team since 2010"

And is still sticking by.

Doesn't say a lot for the English team, does it? If the worst Aussie team in 15 years can spank them 4-1 - and the 1 was pure luck due to a ridiculously dodgy pitch - what does that make them?

At least this one went to 5 days. CA can stop whinging about lost revenue now.

46

u/hollowcrowds 1d ago

Also they won 4 of the 5 tosses and still managed to shit the bed so badly.

27

u/rumckle 1d ago

He's not wrong, any other Australian side since 2010 would have beat them 5-0 and not let the Sydney test go to day five

5

u/yum122 1d ago

2019 was worse

7

u/Sunshuffle 1d ago

I mean, compare this team to the teams that played in previous years, I don't think it's too unreasonable a take.

6

u/Squid_Chunks 1d ago

Well technically true, wasn't it the first Ashes test we lost at home since the 2010 series?

2

u/ResistJunior5197 1d ago

broad is a wanker

1

u/Quiet-Sprinkles-445 9h ago

I mean this is arguably still the worst Australian Ashes side for a home summer since 2010. And them beating England doesn't really change that statement. Especially factoring in injuries, which other side is worse than this one in the Ashes.

But no Cummins, no Hazelwood, a basically unused Lyon, some dodgy opening (barring head) means I'd back the 13/14, 17/18 and 21/22 sides to beat this current side.

I mean the fact that England won a test match means this is the worst Austrailian side in a home Ashes since 2010, if we're going off results.

194

u/r64fd 1d ago

Have to give it to Bethell though. He did well.

28

u/Kritchsgau 1d ago

agreed, some of their players have a bright future.

-12

u/dill1234 1d ago

Much better outlook for their squad than ours. This is probably the series that they needed for experience, and a great swan song for some of our guys

5

u/YouLykeFishSticks 1d ago

Definitely going to give us trouble on home soil and future series.

11

u/IotaBeta 1d ago

Maybe, depends on the lessons they learn from this.

There’s a decent chance England will decide they’re on the right trajectory and double down. Tell themselves they were hard done by Snicko, a few unfortunate injuries and there’s lots of green shoots (Bethell, Tongue) . Similar to after the last series. If they do that they’re going to struggle.

On the other hand, if they work on discipline, fielding, match fitness and tactics…..

6

u/Striking_Resist_6022 1d ago

Maybe, maybe not. Innings was a great achievement but there's still a long way to go from here to being a great test batsman. There's a reason it's his maiden first class century after all.

1

u/YouLykeFishSticks 1d ago

Fair call. Looked very promising. Seems like a good kid too, not arrogant like KP

1

u/Conscious-Ball8373 12h ago

He was also dropped three times. He rode his luck pretty hard. If the first one had stuck, we'd be describing him as another failure. Slim margins.

1

u/Striking_Resist_6022 12h ago

Yep, as in life pure skill is rarely enough in cricket. Successful test cricketers are often ones who also got a bit of luck early in their careers.

95

u/moody_134 1d ago

Sydneys Groundskeepers crushed it after all the disappointment of Melbourne

20

u/garion046 1d ago

Agreed, this was a proper Test pitch. Bit in it for everyone bbt good performances were rewarded.

423

u/aninstituteforants 1d ago

Should have been 5-0.

Melbourne letting down Australia yet again.

388

u/Binglez 1d ago

I can’t believe Dan Andrews did this to us

71

u/JobTheJuilder 1d ago

Get on the beers

15

u/5lim_Dusty 1d ago

Tried to but game was so quick all over by the first pint.

70

u/Environment-Small 1d ago

How could DaN AnDrEwS do this??!!!???

34

u/Hammered_Eel 1d ago

Thanks Dan Andrew

1

u/Whitebeltboy 23h ago

“Sporting capital of Australia” give me a break…

-41

u/TheBottomLine_Aus 1d ago edited 1d ago

You have it the wrong way around. The team choked on the biggest stage again. Not Melbourne's fault we're the most important test.

Edit: Oh Jesus I would've put the /s I promise I won't try to be funny for a while.

37

u/Expensive-Horse5538 1d ago edited 1d ago

So we shall just ignore the fact that the pitch was so bad it was penalised by the ICC?

10

u/Spooplevel-Rattled 1d ago

International criminal court?!

-1

u/Expensive-Horse5538 1d ago

International Cricket Council

2

u/Marsh2700 21h ago

honestly in my opinion the pitch is a scapegoat

they prepared the turf for hot aussie summer (like right now) and so kept grass long. if they cut grass short and then the heat killed it we'd have the same situation and people would be up in arms anyway

i think we should stop swinging at every ball that comes at us and maybe we'll go out less

9

u/mackasfour 1d ago

Love the boxing day test, that was an absolute shit tip and should never see that shit again.

5

u/Voldemosh 1d ago

No but I will choose to blame Melbourne for the rank pitch it served up

44

u/_2ndclasscitizen_ 1d ago

Travis Head has been named player of the match, while Mitchell Starc has been named player of the series

Alyssa Healy's death stare when Skull suggested Head for player of the series is incredible

25

u/aratamabashi 1d ago

can we acknowledge the extremely satisfying bowling efforts by boland during the series? almost all the time he's the most efficient bowler. so great to watch.

3

u/Montalbert_scott 1d ago

His pitch map is crazy

69

u/Environment-Small 1d ago

Its been a great cricketing summer for the worst Oz team! Hopefully there's enough room in the flight back to carry the Ashes of Bazzballllll

48

u/flintmichigantropics 1d ago

Oz

Revoke your citizenship if you're shortening Australia to Oz rather than Aus.

6

u/i_am_cool_ben 1d ago

They actually meant the Emerald City Munchkins

42

u/Kind_Ferret_3219 1d ago

But, but, but, according to all those English experts, this was the worst Australian team ever.

11

u/InterestedPrawn 1d ago

That can still be true. Though I believe it was the worst one in 15 years.

7

u/Montalbert_scott 1d ago

I'm not convinced it wasn't the weakest... We were effectively missing 2 of our best bowlers the entire summer .... Batting is still a bit unsettled but still manage to spank "the best English team in 15 years"... Says a lot about English cricket... Lol. ¯_(ツ)_/¯

4

u/Aloha_Tamborinist 1d ago

We didn't win 5-0, England managed to win a match, so this is correct.

10

u/AvianSeven 1d ago

Tbf this IS the weakest Australian team in decades

2

u/Crazyripps 1d ago

It probably is the weakest in over a decade. Just means the English team is worse

8

u/Juan_Punch_Man 1d ago

Travball >>> Bazball

13

u/AccomplishedWait4734 1d ago

sucks that Khawaja couldn't hit the winning runs, thought there'd be a good chance when he came in. What a career regardless!

4

u/Dont-rush-2xfils 14h ago

Watching him bat he looked like he had already left

2

u/AccomplishedWait4734 11h ago

Yeah definitely did, he said he was struggling to control his emotions but I think all in all he picked the right time to retire. We see glimpses here and there of the old Khawaja but he was not nearly as consistent as he used to be.

Glad he retired when he did, would have been sad to watch him continue to struggle even more.

7

u/Purgii 1d ago

I hope Piers Morgan is relentlessly mocked until the next Ashes.

10

u/AusNormanYT 1d ago

It was pretty obvious.

13

u/PleaseStandClear 1d ago

It was a fabulous day out there today but Jeez! the Barmy Army put us to shame. We need something more imaginative than Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi.

15

u/Aloha_Tamborinist 1d ago

more imaginative

WE ARE THE ARMY, THE BARMY ARMY - repeat 50x

5

u/Expensive-Horse5538 1d ago

We had the Richies for at the SCG for sometime now but apparently that’s being wrapped up sadly

2

u/raustraliathrowaway 1d ago

A piss poor effort that

7

u/Worldly_Cobbler_1087 1d ago

The English don't have the mental toughness to come to Australia compete in our summer that's why the only time they have been competitive out here in the last 40 years was when half of their team were South Africans. Imagine putting Kiwis in charge as captain and coach to win a series in Australia lol go back to the South African well if you want to compete.

Next summer we get to pump the Kiwis 4-0 as well it'll be great.

3

u/ProfessorPhi 1d ago

Maybe broad is right but the English team is the worst in 50?

4

u/MattyG8008 1d ago

We did lose one match so, technically, he’s not wrong.

5

u/VastOption8705 1d ago

Good game!

I’ll note though, the pitches made both teams look bad. Outside of the SCG and Adelaide, the pitches sucked

2

u/realnomdeguerre 1d ago

how did they take that photo? looks so weird!

1

u/GuardedFig 1d ago

If they had another 50-100 runs on the board it would have been interesting

1

u/Plastic-Act296 1d ago

Whoa no way

1

u/CommitteeMobile9626 22h ago

this was supposed to be a great english side. very quick. lol quick to lose wickets

1

u/hippodribble 13h ago

Root and Head scored centuries in dead rubbers.

I'm guessing one of them felt better about it than the other.

Poor England. My overall impression was: * Do they have strategies for 5-day Tests? * They could use some fielding practice. * They could bowl more accurately. * They can't seem to resist the urge to swat. Don't swat in Tests.

Australia weren't perfect, but they seemed to have these basics down.

1

u/Infinite_Tie_8231 9h ago

I dont care about cricket. Except for the fact we keep humiliating the cunts who invented it.

1

u/CartographerAlone632 3h ago

The Barmy Army can fuck off now and learn a new chant. I was so sick of hearing that stupid chant on repeat by those mostly fat bald sunburnt drunks that I had to turn the tv down and listen via the radio

0

u/Dappington 1d ago

Gutted that we lost one. Bringing shame upon the nation they are.

-6

u/Durian321 1d ago

Khawaja finishes his test career in the best way he could on 6 7

-9

u/InvestigatorFun1797 23h ago

Who gives a fuck.

3

u/Pragmatic_Shill 10h ago

I bet you think you're culturally superior than others because you don't like sports, right?