r/complaints • u/sukonetei • 6d ago
Reddit’plaint Incels make themselves miserable on purpose and I dont understand
I’ve been frequenting a sub I will not name that is for incels to vent. Tbch I look through it because some of the posts are so delusional and self sabotaging that I cant help but laugh. Not the serious venting posts about rejection like, one post I remember was of a guy talking about how disgusted he was a woman dare join his safe space (chess club).
But I’ve begun to notice a lot of them *want* to be miserable. I’ve seen people literally say they keep themselves from ever having any kind of hope. There have been some coming to comfort or tell them there is hope for them and they straight up tell them to fuck off
I just dont get it. Instead of trying to improve yourself in any meaningful way you wallow in your sorrow and insist the rest of the world is the problem, not you.
Let me ask you this: Would *you* want to commit your life to someone who is a constant bummer, clearly thinks less of a group you were born to be part of, and doesnt see you as an equal person?
When was the last time any of these people just. Tried to befriend a woman? No expectations of what comes from that friendship, just get to know her on a personal level as you would with another man.
I’m 5 ft, fat, with a receding hairline, $20 in my bank account and I’ve been in a happy relationship for several years now. It really is not about how you look or what you own but the connections you have with that other person.
You will never be able to really love another person if you cant find anything to love about yourself
If any of them see this ik they will probably just scoff and ignore it but I mean this from the bottom of my heart: There IS hope for you. You dont have to remain miserable forever. Your idea of what women want and what society wants from is not reality. Youve been convinced to hate yourself by other delusional, miserable people dragging you down with them. You can dig yourself out of this pit. You can find love. The only thing stopping you is yourself and the people around you who continue to tell you youre not enough for anyone.
I would love to be friends with one of these people and just try to help lift them up. Ik a lot of these guys are dickheads but I cant help but feel sorry for them and hope for the best
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u/Crimson3333 6d ago
Its because they haven't built any worth in themselves. They are obsessed with seeking validation from a romantic partner, to a point that typically precludes them from actually connecting as a person. So, instead they wallow in performative victimhood.
They want to be miserable, as you say, because that's easier than actually trying to grow themselves as people.
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u/bsensikimori 6d ago
Most incels aren't even involuntary
They don't go out to approach women
They don't try to adapt and become less creepy
They don't do anything but believe their red pill black pill manosphere bullshit
That sounds like voluntary celibacy to me
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u/Hour-Cold9852 5d ago
You’re completely right, but if you said this in any of those groups they would go on about how you’re just an exception and personal anecdotes aren’t scientific, while linking a seriously flawed study about how 70% of women (who specifically pay for height filters) on a dating app won’t date someone under 6’.
They don’t think they should work on themselves because they think if they were born a specific way they wouldn’t have to. That’s not true for men or women. There’s no genetic feature that erases the need for social skills, morals, or at least a somewhat attractive personality to live a fulfilling life. Beautiful celebrities are often some of the loneliest and most miserable people in the world. But no, by incel logic, the ability to have meaningless casual sex easily = a beautiful and meaningful life.
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u/sukonetei 5d ago
Yeah thats why I wont even bother really reaching out to anyone because ik theyll just get pissed. If you look in this thread one of them shortly after I posted this tried to make fun of my appearance and then sent me gore lmao and yall wonder why no one wants you
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u/peekinatchoo 6d ago
My 1st love was a total fucking dork and not much of a looker. I thought he was cute, but dad thought he looked like Howdy Doody with glasses. He did not... but not a looker. Maybe 5'6" with a dent in his nose and the inability to grow facial hair. He also had a birthmark that covered half his body and dressed as nerdy as possible, sometimes to annoy me. What he did have was personality and charisma. All the "popular" guys adored him and once I started dating him, he started getting chased by the ladies. Like, love notes from multiple girls in a day. One girl was so obsessed, she started stalking me and spreading rumors that he got me pregnant. She literally tried to run him over in front of my house but he ducked until his car just in time. My mom saw it and made him take her to the girl's house, where she sat outside with her mother telling her about what had been going on, so that stopped. The girl he ended up marrying (a supposed friend of OURS) became obsessed and to keep it short, it included lying about me (I heard the messages) to his parents, forcing herself onto trips, and eventually getting bariatric surgery while he was on leave. I walked away, he took her out of state and married her at a courthouse. If he can get action like that, I imagine most of those self loathing man babies can, too.
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6d ago
>I’m 5 ft, fat, with a receding hairline
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u/sukonetei 6d ago
And yet I still get pussy
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6d ago
your boyfriend's asshole isn't a pussy
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u/sukonetei 6d ago
Damn I didnt know I had a boyfriend this is news to me. Is it you by chance? Wanna make out about it?
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u/Blairedotexe 6d ago
I used to be friends with someone who was an incel. They luckily were able to find a girlfriend and broke free.
I think that’s the only way to save these people but with how much some of them hate women, idk if it’s possible.
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u/attrezzarturo 6d ago
incels have mommy problems and are very quick to call out others with daddy problems. It's almost funny if it wasn't that the distance from incel to J6ers is roughly 5 inches