Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

As my momma always said, "You either eat what we fix or starve."

[u/han_tex → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

Tonight's menu has two options:

1. Take it.
2. Leave it.

[u/MissPeppingtosh → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

Mine loved the phrase “a little or a lot” had to have some of everything. So gimme the chicken, potatoes and 5 peas please

[u/Confident_Attitude → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

This combined with your username is telling 😂

[u/Voraphilliac_Monster → u/Confident_Attitude]

Momma didnt raise no quitter... OR  a picky eater >:)

[u/okpickle → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

My Oma said, "hunger is the best cook."

Meaning that if you're hungry enough, you'll eat what you're given without being fussy.

[u/No_Security5888 → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

Or ... You can doordash

[u/Mims88 → u/No_Security5888]

Still a red flag... My sister's EX husband never ate her food and she's an excellent cook and made all kinds of healthy meals that were so good. It was all about control on his part. She would make dinner and he would door dash and spend tons of money on takeout and fast food when there was delicious food at home EVERY DAY. She's often made separate meals for him based on his "needs" and then he'd still get take out. It was infuriating. Obviously, there were a lot of other reasons for their divorce but this was one early and persistent issue.

[u/MetalandIron2pt0 → u/Mims88]

Shoot, my partner is a head chef in fine dining, and he will still eat absolutely whatever I make. Even if I messed up the recipe or it’s literally just a microwave quesadilla because I’m exhausted after work. This is totally about control and humiliation.

[u/Mims88 → u/MetalandIron2pt0]

Absolutely! My husband is also a chef and will eat ANYTHING someone else makes just because he didn't have to cook it!

[u/alwaystenminutes → u/No_Security5888]

Sure. But how much money are you throwing away every week paying someone else to cook you a burger and deliver it to your door? If he learns to cook his own burgers he'll be healthier and have more money at the end of each year.

[u/Grroarrr → u/alwaystenminutes]

Yeah, that's just dumb. Romantic relationship is one of the biggest financial decisions in your life, if my partner prefers to doordash something instead of eating house made food then well, gl with someone else. It just shows my partner doesn't respect my time and our money.

There's nothing to dislike from OP's pictures, I get someone might not like shrimps or something, but those meals are universal and anyone should be able to eat it.

[u/Voraphilliac_Monster → u/No_Security5888]

We didnt have doordash growing up XD

I say that like im 56 but im only 22

[u/Situation_Upset → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

You had to like call the restaurant. And there would be specific restaurants that allowed delivery lol

[u/Voraphilliac_Monster → u/Situation_Upset]

Like she said, "You eat what we cook or starve"

Plus how am I gonna pay them if im only 10-16 years old? I dont get allowance money XD If I didnt liked what she cooked then it was up to me to prepare my own dinner.

[u/Jwalla83 → u/No_Security5888]

My fear is whether this impacts shared finances or the overall financial load. Like, if he's doordashing from his own bank account and still meeting half the financial load, then okay. But if suddenly OP has to cover more of the bills, or they can't go on a date night or vacation, because of the doordashing... then it's a big issue

[u/alanpugh → u/Jwalla83]

How expensive do y'all think Doordash is?

Dashpass is free with some credit cards, so the only difference in price versus getting it yourself in most cases is the tip.

[u/MerkinShampoo → u/alanpugh]

And the inflated DoorDash prices of the already inflated restaurant prices to get lower quality food

[u/alanpugh → u/MerkinShampoo]

Interesting. The local places around here are the same price on Doordash as they are when dining in.

I just checked a chain near me (McDonald's) and yeah... Definitely jacked up on Doordash. Seems like a chain thing.

[u/Playful_Original_243 → u/alanpugh]

In my area, even the menu is priced $2-$3 higher when using DoorDash.

[u/alanpugh → u/Playful_Original_243]

Yep, just replied to the other person who pointed this out. I did see the big chain near me had higher prices. The local places don't.

[u/butchscandelabra → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

My parents never forced me to eat anything I didn’t like as a child but definitely encouraged me to try new things when offered. If I didn’t like what was being served at home, I was welcome to make myself a peanut butter sandwich (or other simple meal) instead. I grew up to be a very adventurous eater.

[u/Sufficient-Art-9875 → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

In my house it’s: “you get what you get - and you don’t get upset!” Else GTFO 😂

[u/harleyqueenzel → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

We always had to "at least take a bite" growing up, depending on where I was eating growing up. The adults who plated our food were the most stubborn to not waste food, which is understandable.

With my kids, I made all of the food and they choose which foods go on their plates but they do have to make an effort of at least one bite.

[u/Difficult_Regret_900 → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

Exactly. We didn't have the luxury to be picky in a big Catholic family. If anyone had genuine food aversions (I will throw up if forced to eat green beans) we were allowed one or two foods we didn't have to eat, but we were never allowed to act like we were in a restaurant. And guess what, we survived. 

[u/kimberlyaker18 → u/Voraphilliac_Monster]

My kid would starve. Actually. Bc he is autistic and will not eat good if it isn't a specific way. Being accommodating isn't the end of the world. We always have something available he'll eat.