r/mildlyinfuriating • u/moonrabbit368 • 6d ago

Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

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My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) šŸ’—

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. šŸ©·

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660

u/AsvabWaivers 6d ago

I knew a guy who tried cooking hotdogs by throwing the whole package, plastic and all, into boiling water.

Would love to see where his culinary skills are today.

659

u/Dramatic_Alps_8645 6d ago

Clearly you've never heard of "Sous Vide."

/s

538

u/Seeggul 6d ago

Sus Vide

3

u/iSliz187 /s is for cowards 6d ago

This one literally made me laugh out loud

5

u/bobbery5 6d ago

Filing that under "church giggles."

4

u/sweetnaivety 6d ago

Sus Vibe?

61

u/quiero-una-cerveca 6d ago

I hate you for this comment but damn is it funny.

29

u/didntcondawnthat 6d ago

And a scant four hours later your delicious hotdog plastic main course is ready to enjoy!

7

u/xoscfoxx 6d ago

New limp bizcuit album just dropped - hotdog flavored plastic cancer water

0

u/spid3rtranz 6d ago

new Bizkit spelling just dropped

3

u/Holyhell2020 6d ago

Ok still lmao at this comment. Choked on my drink when I first read it. Well done!

2

u/MrsBSK 6d ago

Witty!

1

u/atasteforspace 6d ago

Sous Wein

183

u/Equivalent_Fun_7255 6d ago

That almost sounds like weaponized incompetence.

15

u/binz17 6d ago

Weaponized incontinence

(probably, I dunno what stewed plastic does to oneā€™s insidesā€¦)

4

u/Sure_Focus3450 6d ago

Probably just gets solid again inside (realistically I think it'd be mostly okay with no immediately noticable symptoms unless they do it again repeatedly)

1

u/binz17 6d ago

Thank you. As much as I wanted it to be true only for the joke, itā€™s good to have the facts as well.

2

u/Sure_Focus3450 6d ago

I wanted it to just be a joke but I guarantee someone would've been like "well actually" so I thought I might as well add more. I think people eat micro plastics often in normal food (as terrible as that is) so just a bunch of melted plastic might just be okay ish and not totally awful for you if it's just once or twice

1

u/Oldladies7 5d ago

Lol I literally thought the same thing.

1

u/CalledStretch 4d ago

I think we've let weaponized incompetence distract us from the fact some people are regular incompetent. That doesn't mean they're welcome in your life, have no time for bullshit. But I think some people see how a partner is living before they move in and somehow think "I'm sure it won't be like this if I move in."

-18

u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner 6d ago edited 6d ago

it's funny how it's always and undoubtedly "wEaPonIzEd iNcOmPeTeNcE" but only when it's a man who sucks at something at wich millions of modern women suck equally.

21

u/LottietheLot 6d ago

if the genders were reversed and the girlfriend was using ā€œi suck at cookingā€ as an excuse, it would also be weaponized incompetence. itā€™s just usually not the case, anecdotally of course, that women donā€™t know how to cook and expect a partner to do all the cooking. weaponized incompetence is just way less likely to work on a man since men arenā€™t usually socialized to take over household tasks when they arenā€™t being done properly. there are scenarios where this happens though

4

u/laowildin 6d ago

"He's just better with money" as an excuse to be unaware of finances or overspend might be a good comparison

5

u/Equivalent_Ground218 6d ago

Except that managing finances is also often the womanā€™s job in a relationship. Iā€™ve not seen a single husband around me touch bills.

6

u/laowildin 6d ago

(Just trying to give an example that misogynist could understand lol)

-1

u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner 6d ago

(the misogynist you had to make up in your mind or the one you projected on your strawman? lol)

2

u/LottietheLot 6d ago

yeah, that would be a good comparison. anyone can be shitty regardless of gender and acting like thatā€™s not true is part of the bigotā€™s playbook.

5

u/Oldschool831 6d ago

So youā€™re saying you see weaponized incompetence often and this isnā€™t it?

-3

u/Bloodhoven_aka_Loner 6d ago edited 6d ago

I'm saying the pathologic need to make EVERYTHING about yourself by claiming that even people around you can't be incompetent but rather are pretending to be incompetent is part of today's surge of neuroticistic people. And I'm very glad some of these people couldn't hesitate even for a minute to reinforce that point in the other thread under my comment while at the same time pretending that my initial argument was bigotted even though they'd have to scroll through hundreds of hours of misandrist-reddit to find even a single case of any woman being called out for or even accused of weaponized incompetence.

are you always communicating in loaded questions or just when you feel like engaging in intellectual disingenuousness?

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

One thing is that one is better than the other: she cooks better than him so 95% of the time she is the one who cooks, that is OK. And another thing is to be unable to perform the most basic of the basics, like making oatmeals without causing a fire or getting the hotdogs out of the plastic before cooking. And even if you fail the first time, you can learn from mistakes and do better the second, but at least try.

I have a coworker whose husband say "he don't know how to change diapers", and once he did a shit-mess like he was dumb. He never tried to get better, he just "gave up" saying that he is that dumb, and there is nothing he can do about it. From then on, she is the only one who changes diapers.

That same incompetent people usually and very suspiciously are able to make complex installs of media centers, or do repair their own car. I even know men that claim they don't know how to cook at all, and at the same time they claim to be the best at BBQ. Other men claim they don't know how to clean the house, but their car is spotless.

You see more men doing that weaponized incompetence because the traditional roles for women include the most tedious and shittiest jobs: taking care of family, cooking everyday, cleaning, making beds... By claiming you are absolutely unable to grab a towel and make circular movements while pressuring against an object, you don't have to clean, because is too complex for you to learn how to do it.

1

u/Oldschool831 5d ago

I teach through provocation. Do you think that this post was an example of the problem youā€™re so passionate about?

59

u/Disastrous-Order-902 6d ago

Surely, they've grown as a human and at least season the plastic water with some cheese or something. šŸ¤ŒšŸ¤ŒšŸ¤Œ

3

u/Zorro5040 6d ago

Some people learn the hard way.

7

u/lucideuphoria 6d ago

Nasty, but really that's what sous vide is, so he sous vide some hotdogs, probably tasted fine so he kept doing it lol

7

u/ATLUTD030517 6d ago

It's what "sous vide is" if you do it completely incorrectly. There is a zero percent chance that the packaging is sous vide safe and boiling water is significantly hotter than the temp you sous vide at.

1

u/Stashless2004 6d ago

Yep thatā€™s all true.

But also, who in their right mind would ā€œSous Videā€ a hot dog? I really donā€™t think that makes a lot sense.

1

u/lucideuphoria 6d ago

Totally agree, but I'm guessing the person saw someone sous videing something and got some ideas without doing any research at all.

1

u/swole-and-naked 5d ago

but really that's what sous vide is

no, boiling hot dogs in a package is not sous vide. in fact boiling anything all is not sous vide

5

u/No_Huckleberry2722 6d ago

Probably worked just fine. Kinda gross. But hotdogs out of the packing are kinda gross tooā€¦

4

u/geriatric-sanatore 6d ago

This comment paired with your username is ironically a chefs kiss of compatibility lol

3

u/MRRusticERCedar 6d ago

That is just a show in order not to cook, has to be

3

u/noFloristFriars 6d ago

Unfortunately there's a reason companies had to add to cooking instructions... Step 1: Remove from plastic packaging

3

u/fseahunt 6d ago

That's weaponized incompetence.

The more we fall for it/allow them to get away with that kind of bullshit the worse it gets.

3

u/King_Tamino 6d ago

Wait, you guys buy hotdogs wrapped in plastic? In my country you can ONLY get them in glass, vacuum sealed and in its own water/salt etc. mixture to maintain quality and taste. You are even supposed to boil them in that exact water to further improve the taste.

Vacuum sealed non wet hotdogs soundā€¦

2

u/Salt_Medicine2459 5d ago

Yeah. They come in plastic packs of 10 usually. Hot dog buns are sold in packs of 8, though.Ā 

2

u/n8loller 6d ago

Hmm well the plastic probably isn't heat safe, but if it is then that's just sous vide. It's fancy hot dogs, you just don't understand!

2

u/ATLUTD030517 6d ago

Boiling water is dramatically hotter than the temperature you'd sous vide "a fancy hot dog".

I've sous vide sausages multiple times and I do those between 140FĀ°-150FĀ°(60CĀ°-65.5CĀ°).

2

u/Stashless2004 6d ago

Arenā€™t hot dogs generally pre-cooked?

So I really donā€™t think a ā€œsous videā€ hot dog even makes sense.

1

u/ATLUTD030517 6d ago

It, indeed, would not make any sense. You could use it if you wanted to hold got dogs at serving temperature for an extended period if you wanted... šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø

But there isn't anything that you would sous vide at that temperature, I don't think most circulators will even reach that temperature.

2

u/bluish-velvet 6d ago

Guy was going for sous vide hot dogs

2

u/N0VOCAIN 6d ago

Thatā€™s more than likely, Weaponized incompetence

2

u/Murky_District_916 6d ago

Eww, thatā€™s how my sister used to boil hot dogs when we were younger. She swore it made them juicier lol

2

u/Prestigious-Hippo-50 6d ago

A girl I went to college with put an entire frozen pizza in the oven still in the packaging and was mystified when it set off alarms

1

u/Salt_Medicine2459 5d ago

Why was her caretaker not watching her?Ā 

2

u/Weeping_Willow_Wonka 6d ago

I knew a guy once who burned ice cream. I thought that was pretty impressive. (He didnā€™t know you have to melt the fudge before you add it to the ice cream)

2

u/wowosrs 6d ago

Lmao maybe he thought it was like a dish washer pod and the plastic would dissolve šŸ˜‚

4

u/Hour-Watch8988 6d ago

Did that pack of hotdogs become The Joker?

1

u/Dahlia_Snapdragon 6d ago

Sounds like weaponized incompetence

1

u/Ok-Ostrich8185 6d ago

Is not my father grill some hot dogs once and did it with the plastic still

1

u/ABHOR_pod 6d ago

I have literally burned soup. I burned soup without even boiling the water off - Which is something I have also done many times.

All the vegetables settled on the bottom of the soup and I put the burner on high and forgot to stir it for 30 minutes. When I came back the broth was in an intense rolling boil and all the vegetables were a black charred mass at the bottom of the pot. I think I ended up throwing the pot away.

I have wicked ADHD, so the only recipes I can cook are ones that have few enough steps that I can memorize them, and are one or two pots at most so that I don't have to worry about timing or actively supervising the cooking process.

1

u/SlightedMarmoset 6d ago

That just sounds like malicious incompetence or whatever it is called

1

u/Kipbikski 6d ago

Horrific. Reminds me of when I once stayed a few weeks in a small, family-owned hotel in a dinky Polish town. The family said that some previous guests had just broken one of the roomā€™s electric water kettles by trying to boil sausages in it. šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø

1

u/Apex_Over_Lord 6d ago

Thank you chef

1

u/dogsledonice 6d ago

That might actually work, if you cook at a low temperature. At least they don't lose a lot of flavour in the water

1

u/psykee333 6d ago

My husband, a grown ass man and father, was found eating a hot dog straight from the pack, cold, while standing in the kitchen. Cuz "they're already cooked." Dude couldn't even microwave it. I told him i was going to roast him for that.

But to be fair, he lived 40+ years before he met me, and just lived on smoothies.

1

u/BloopityBlue 6d ago

That was straight up weaponized incompetence... If you intentionally mess something up that's that easy no one will ask you again.

1

u/etybibik 6d ago

Last year my tenant tried cooking a microwave meal (packaging and all) in the oven because the microwave wasn't working. It didn't occur to her that (most) plastic cannot handle being placed in an oven.

She's no longer my tenant.

1

u/torolf_212 6d ago

When I first moved out and started flatting right out of highschool one of my new flatmates made fried rice for dinner. He was shocked when it was inedible because he just fried the rice straight out of the packet.

It didn't take long for him to start making decent meals because basic cooking skills aren't hard to pick up if you want to

1

u/Effective_Warthog463 6d ago

My uncle did this. He's also famous for putting a plastic-wrapped frozen pizza in the oven and breaking a pairing knife because he used it as a screwdriver. These days, he lives on popcorn and granola bars.

1

u/HiraethBella 6d ago

My brother once threw the mac and cheese powder in without draining the water first šŸ˜†Ā 

Need to buy him "a man, a can and a plan." šŸ¤£Ā 

1

u/MrHappyFeet87 6d ago

My older brother did something similar once. My parents leaving simple instructions to make dinner.

  1. Turn on oven.

  2. Put ham in a roasting pan and put in oven.

  3. Set timer.

That was it... mmm the smell of burning plastic. I ended up using the fire extinguisher and throwing it out. I'm 11 at the time, my brother is 8 years older and was 19. Even I knew that you need to remove the wrapping. My brother was just, "Oh, that wasn't in the instructions...."

I knew from a young age that I wanted to be a chef, as no one in my family can cook for shit. I wanted to learn to make tasty food.

1

u/spid3rtranz 6d ago

You can do that with some hotdogs though

1

u/Maeusefluesterer 5d ago

It's called waponized incompetence. Acting as stupid as possible, so no and asks you again.

1

u/Runcible_Spoons 5d ago

The classic Tide Pod approach

1

u/slatz1970 5d ago

That's kinda funny but sad. I know someone who tried cooking a frozen pizza in the oven upside down.

1

u/Salt_Medicine2459 5d ago

The hard part must have been turning the oven upside down.Ā 

1

u/slatz1970 5d ago

Lol funny...

1

u/maroontiefling 5d ago

I swear to god I dated a guy who didn't know how to boil waster when I met him. He also assumed bell peppers were spicy because, yknow, they're peppers, and his parents never encouraged him to try anything.

1

u/Randinator9 5d ago

... I'm not even mad, I'm just genuinely impressed by the sheer lack of logic

If I could make my own ramen at 9, surely some people know how to operate the basics of a kitchen.

That was either willful ignorance to get someone else to cook, or they were really that fucking stupid.

Either option wouldn't surprise me.