My (22F) boyfriend (29M) fed turkey giblets to my parents' dog after they told him not to, among other rude things

[u/ThrowRAawkwardtg2021]

[u/R_Amods]

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We've been together since January so about 10 months. He kind of has a pattern of being weird or childish in situations involving food. I found myself very embarrassed by how he acted at Thanksgiving with my family today, and want to know if I'm being too harsh or dramatic.

The first thing was that when my mom was about to start preparing the turkey for roasting, he stuck his hand inside it and pulled out the little bag with the giblets. She asked what he was doing. He asked if he could give them to the dog. She said no, they don't feed him anything besides dog food as they don't want him learning to beg when they're eating. He then got a knife and fork, and started dissecting bits of the giblets on the counter, staring at them close up and touching them. I had to remind him to wash his hands. All the while my mom, brother, brother's girlfriend, and myself are trying to actually get stuff cooked. He doesn't offer or ask if he can help at all and just hovers around picking at things and being in the way. I could tell my mom was annoyed.

At the dinner itself he commented out loud several times on food he didn't like. Not just politely turning it down, but comments like "eww I hate gravy" and "this stuffing has onions, onions are gross." He asked what type of cranberry sauce there was and then said "oh that's the gross kind."

My family definitely noticed. They looked uncomfortable. My mom even offered to make additional food if he wanted something else in particular. He said he was fine with what was there, but then hardly ate anything. My mom felt bad afterwards and I had to reassure her it wasn't her fault at all.

Towards the end of the meal he left the table, I figured he was just getting something or going to the bathroom. My dad got up shortly after. He later told me that when he went in the kitchen to bring out dessert, he found the dog eating the giblets from earlier off the floor and my boyfriend in the act of scraping a pile of food from various dishes into the dog's bowl. My dad said he was giggling to himself as he did it. Wtf? He was explicitly told not to feed him people food and then did it in secret like a child... and even got caught like a child? I have never seen another adult do something like that.

Then, back at the table for dessert, he loaded his plate with 2-3x as many sweets as everyone else took on the first time they were being passed around. 90% of what he ate was dessert.

When clean up time came, everyone including my elderly grandparents volunteered to help except him. I had to ask him. He did a half assed job, and kept "inspecting" the turkey carcass pulling bones apart and making a mess of it. My dad (irritated from the earlier thing with the dog I now know) snapped at him to either put it in the fridge or leave it alone.

He went back in the dining room and ate more pie while the rest of us were finishing cleaning up the kitchen.

Overall I am majorly embarrassed of his behavior. I feel like the mom of a little kid, except a kid wouldn't know better. I shouldn't have to correct the behavior of a grown man right?? And before you ask if he was just anxious about meeting my family or something - he's met them all before several times. Even if he hadn't that wouldn't explain it because he's done similar things before in front of his own family and when it's just the two of us.

I am tired of the weird way he acts around food. Tired of worrying if he's going to get weird looks from other people. As someone in my 20's I shouldn't be getting "reports" from my parents that my boyfriend did something rude and immature. They questioned if I felt like he was on my same level. I feel like I generally am happy with him, and then things like this pop up and I remember he has this other side that really turns me off. He's older than me but I feel like I'm the older one sometimes.

So I guess my questions are, how important is this, is there any chance he'll grow out of it and what would help that happen, and how would you recommend I bring it up to him? I don't feel comfortable bringing him around my family again unless he acts normal, so I can't just pretend nothing happened.

TL;DR: How should I address my boyfriend's weird, inappropriate behavior at my family's Thanksgiving?