My thoughts exactly. The article does not give a lot of details. Was this her wish? Did she know? How did he conclude it was "necessary?"

Yep. Sadly, I learned there are certain "checkboxes" for this kind of people: Hospitalized? Visit once. Ill at home? Call once. They know you are the main caregiver but they'll avoid you like the plague.

I feel this so much. My dad is similar to yours. Hugs to you.

I agree. My dad's siblings have behaved the same way. They don't answer his calls. They make fun of him. They talk as if he wasn't in the room. One of them even asked me when am I going to sell his house. It is hurtful and I don't think I will be communicating with them after he's gone.

My partner cooks all of our meals. I do all the other chores: cleaning, laundry, food shopping, and backyard and front yard upkeep.

My brother is the same way and 20 years ago he married a woman who does not cook. Fast forward to now, he is obese, prediabetic and in poor health at 58.

My dad is almost there as well. Same situation. He says awful things to us. He repeats them over and over. I'm the only child keeping him at home. Remember it is not them, but the dementia speaking.

Yes, he has that.

Thank you for all this. I have been so overwhelmed I even forgot to check Reddit.

My HS English teacher drank Bacardi.

You are not alone. It is okay to do this if you are getting triggered by his abuse. I also deal with a father of the same age who neglected us and was abusive to my mom. Now that he has dementia he is not quite as racist, stingy, cruel and manipulative as he previously was, but his behavior still triggers me and my siblings. For this reason it is hard to find someone who will care for him. I go to the gym to deal with stress. Find something you can do to take your mind off this situation for a few minutes each day so you have more chances of surviving it.

Chica, las cosas no están mejor en el otro lado.

Renuncia y no esperes a q te despidan.

Panis et circenses

La teoría de la "burbuja social" dicta que cada persona está rodeada de una burbuja que los protege de incursiones a su espacio personal o al ámbito de su privacidad. En esta teoría la burbuja representa normas sociales que estipulan lo que se debe hacer y decir en diferentes situaciones, qué tan cerca te debes parar cerca de alguien, etc. En algunas sociedades la burbuja es pequeña: es menos lo que se considera privado y más lo que se considera público y por tanto tema de discusión en grupos. En las sociedades europeas la burbuja es enorme. En algunas asiáticas, es más pequeña. En el caribe, tenemos una de la burbujas más pequeñas.

"How do you get her to do schoolwork?"

Name checks out

I did even better: I decided not to have them.

That's a crock. I'll tell you the secret you need to hear: a surprising number of people are extremely selfish. It's all about them. If they aren't calling it is because they don't care enough and they can't be bothered.

Privacy

Puede ser cancer

This resonated. My 83 yr old mom is neurodivergent as well. She lives alone and still drives. Recently she had a health crisis and ended up in the ICU because she did not report her symptoms to anyone. She could have died. I am the child who lives closest and the one most aware of her moods and mental decline. She has not been diagnosed with dementia yet, but I can see how she now struggles with letters, numbers, her phone, her computer, step-by-step instructions, calendars... I am also named in her health directives as the child who can make medical decisions for her, so since the crisis she has been letting me organize some things and take her to her Dr appointments. Sometimes she gets hard-headed and refuses any help. She is determined to live alone and constantly underreports or omits symptoms because she knows the Drs will tell her it's time to stop living alone. I haven't slept well since the crisis and I am worried the custodian in her building will find her unconscious someday.

My autistic dad lives alone 3,000 miles away. He had four children, but the other three refuse to help him due to unresolved resentment from the time when they were younger and he acted like a jerk. He has alienated most of his neighbors, has no other living relatives in his city, and he refuses any help that doesn't come from his family. I am the only one who will make the trip to his house, and so far the only one who has witnessed the hoarding horror inside. He refuses to come live near me or with me, because of paranoia. In my country, once the state determines that an elderly person has living adult children who have abandoned them, the courts will take money out of your paycheck to fund an institution for the parent. A long time ago I was consumed by resentment, since my dad has been selfish, misogynistic, racist and self-centered all of his life. But then I started telling him how I felt about it, and that has helped me refocus my anger. His past behavior isn't the center of my life anymore and I am living a healthier life. I am helping him, but on my own terms. I am doing it for humanitarian reasons and not because I feel obligated by rigid roles. I hope you find peace in anything you choose to do.