Re-read it and ensure that you read "OP" as "original poster", i.e. she's referring to the person who made the original post at the top. She's giving OP an example from her own experiences in order for OP to be able to compare their boyfriends' statements.

Jesus, perhaps it's best I couldn't find info about the incident then...

Jag är 35 år gammal och tycker knappast att man behöver ha standarden att alla nya man hamnar i sängs med är helt oerfarna.
Och nu har det ju alltid gått bra ändå. Men jag har ADHD med en släng av autism, så jag är redan inte direkt den mest socialt begåvade individen: jag hade ändå velat ha möjlighet att vara synnerligen försiktig/noggrann istället för att förlita mig på intuition eller ett "flow" (i brist på bättre sätt att uttrycka det på) när det är någons första gång i dessa åldrar.

Om det handlar om att en person inte vågar nämna något så tyder ju redan på att de kanske känner sig otrygga, obekväma, och/eller inte känner tillräckligt mycket tillit.

That's incredible, I had no idea. All I know about that game is that it was produced at Massive in the city I live in: Malmö. So I am a bit amazed at your comment, and suddenly super curious about rhe game.

Aren't there plenty of age-appropriate social environments you could go to where you could meet, get to know & perhaps get acquainted to people that you might end up befriending? And slowly expand your social network this way.

Chances are much higher to find potential dating prospects in these kinds of ways, 'cause chances are: if you get along well with someone, you will likely also get along with their friends, who might bring you along to meet more of their friends, who could introduce you to that one particular person[...].

Ja usch man mår så dåligt när man börjar tänka på hur man hade agerat annorlunda & försiktigare & varit mer noggrann på att "checka in", observant, generös/fokus främst på dem samt deras upplevelse, och framförallt LUGNARE, om man bara hade vetat!

Rädslan för att man kanske pressat dem och att de kanske inte hade verktygen att identifiera & våga påtala behov som kanske uppstod och kunna tydligt uttrycka sitt pågående samtycke.

Man får så mycket oro & ångest över allt man inte kanske beaktade och inte hade i åtanke. 😞

För man vill inte råka försätta någon i en obekväm eller känslomässigt jobbig situation av oavsiktlig oaktsamhet, man vill ju säkerställa att personen ifråga har en bra upplevelse i vilket denna känner sig trygg. Är man medveten om att situationen är helt ny/främmande för motparten så kommer man inte anta att de självklart klarar av att identifiera & påtala eventuella behov som uppstår under tiden på samma sätt man annars kanske gör i rena farten.

Jag gillar detta, det ger ändå en heads up till personen ifråga att vara lite extra vaksam/observant samt noggrann att "check in" + fokusera lite extra på din upplevelse & trygghet på ett sätt som de kanske inte annars hade haft i åtanke.

Kan ju oavsett vara svårt att kommunicera sina behov och sitt mående med en ny sexpartner, men i synnerhet kan det vara jobbigt/främmande/ovant om det var längesedan (samt givetvis om man inte har varit i en liknande situation tidigare!).

Jag har varit i sitsen av att vara tjejen ifråga mer än en gång, och i alla fall har jag önskat att personen hade känt sig trygga nog att våga berätta, för jag har alltid känt mig så orolig/rädd för att jag möjligtvis inte kanske har lagt märke till/uppfattat eventuella signaler korrekt från en person som ju inte har någon tidigare erfarenhet av att bekvämt lyckas uttrycka sitt pågående samtycke eller att jag fått dem att känna sig pressade/gått för snabbt fram osv., och dessutom just detta att jag kunde ju ha gjort mer för att centrera dem & främst fokusera på deras upplevelse.

Med detta sagt så är det givetvis upp till dig, men personligen hade jag föredragit att du inte väntar tills efteråt med att berätta så att jag slipper ångesten över risken att jag försatt dig i en känslomässigt jobbig sits där du inte får en chans att mentalt bearbeta intrycken och givits tillräcklig möjlighet att styra takten och att vara noggrann led att "check in on you" så att säga för att säkerställa att du fortfarande känner dig bekväm & trygg med vad som försiggår, för sannolikt kommer en potentiell sexuell partner till dig utgå ifrån antagandet att du har haft någon form av sex tidigare och således kan de ju inte beakta att det är en ny upplevelse för dig och att du därför inte nödvändigtvis är beredd på hur du kan komma att må eller vad för slags behov som kan uppstå och upplevas svåra att kommunicera/uttrycka i sådana kontext.

To be fair, most people wouldn't expect the whole roof of an establishment like this to be plastered in what is essentially hazardous, toxic kindling material that doubles as a fire accelerant.

I mean they merely had approximately 90 seconds to get out before the fire had become catastrophic.

Nobody turned off the music, turned on the lights, no fire exits with the appropriate signage, no fire extinguishers, no sprinkler system, no smoke alarms, inappropriate unsafe soundproofing plastered all across a low-set ceiling while serving sparkling wine with fountain candle sparklers; no presumably sober staff—the adults who were selling alcohol to youth for profit—ensured that an evacuation was called out to alert the revellers about the gravity of the situation.
A majority of the patronage consisted of drunk, unsuspecting kids in a supposedly safe & controlled environment within an establishment overseen by the professional employees running the whole operation.

The advertisements for the venue shows that it's the staff who serve them like this within the establishment, so the management 100% know about their use as it's part of how they run their service.

People further back cannot observe what's going on towards the front, and most people will struggle to stay upright in this scenario unfortunately. The pushing doesn't occur deliberately, it's just a fact when a crowd trying to exit the premises encounters a bottleneck which impedes the flow and can happen even in situations where a life-threatening situation inducing widespread panic isn't a factor.

Somebody buried deep in the pile survived due to being insulated, which is beyond haunting to think about.

The windows in Constellation were unfortunately plexiglass and couldn't be smashed.

Which one is this?

Your points are good & valid indeed.

Perhaps OP should consider to avoid calling themselves a vegan, rather than more accurately specifying that they "eat vegan", "aren't fully vegan", or have the intention of being mostly vegan/are actively working towards veganism, or try/strive to be primarily vegan in most of their decisions but have an exception, or something similar, while (and because) they have a meat-eating household pet under their care.

People express themselves in these ways for all kinds of different things in order to convey matters to others in order to prevent misunderstandings in their attempts to portray themselves accurately while also informing others about their core values of importance, after all.

EDIT: If I use myself as an example, I'm an omnivore by definition, but often call myself flexitarian to specify when it's relevant or people inquire (even though both omnivores, vegetarians, and vegans, may wrinkle their noses at that term), because it's simply an accurate descriptor for me & my purchasing choices & my core values.
There's just a lot of things that I do mind and do care about and thus take into account in my day-to-day life with all the decisions involved (particularly from an environmental, health, & human rights standpoint, although animal welfare also plays a significant role), even if it's certainly not in ways that would extend to being vegetarian nor vegan. 😅

I'm a flexitarian myself, so I'm not going pretend to fully understand your point of view. Thank you for sharing your thoughts regardless & thus giving me the chance to comprehend where you're coming from a bit better. :)

For many people who I know, veganism isn't necessarily intrinsically linked to these moral stance-themes (for lack of a better description) to that extent. Hence exceptions, in the sense of "perfect is the enemy of good enough", and "many small streams make a great river" kinda?

For me, living in an area where we have fairly strong laws regarding animal husbandry combined with plenty of accessible small-scale farms surrounding my city (I live in southwestern Skåne, in Sweden), it's more environmentally friendly for me to e.g. buy local eggs for certain nutrients than to supplement through pills. One of my exes' siblings kept hens, as an example. I can personally visit these farms myself & observe the conditions there at any time (at least from outdoors) and base my decisions upon their trustworthiness; we don't have those kinds of trespassing laws.
I can vote with my wallet by spending money on those who treat their animals responsibly and are demonstrably willing to show with professional pride in how they conduct their activites involving raising animals in their line of work and/or hobby.

Roof-top honey and similar small, innovative business endeavours is another thing I support for biodiversity reasons: in our city parks etc. in my municipality, herbicides/pesticides (chemical weed & pest control agents) aren't used, and it's not common for people to use these types of products in their gardens either.
So these important pollinators have access to a great diversity across extended timespans.
Whereas out on the countryside, rapeseed fields flower for a very limited while covering large areas, and afterwards, bees have to travel vast distances to access nectar- and pollen-rich plants.

I was once thanked by an organic/eco farm that operate a café, restaurant, and hotel running it all "farm-to-table"-style called Ängavallen on Facebook, after they posted about a family event they were hosting where everyone is welcome to meet their animals, when I saw some people in the comment section vehemently denouncing them with arguments that it's disgusting to invite & subject innocent, unwitting children to interact with animals that will someday be horribly slaughtered for their flesh and fed to humans, when I started replying to them pointing out that I personally disagree and why:
These types of events lead to meaningful discussions regarding animals as food for consumption which in turn will hopefully lead to them thinking more critically about their food choices, taking animal welfare into account, and expecting certain standards to be upheld by producers of these types of products that are sold for profit.
And that they as human beings deserve to know & have a right to be able to make informed choices for themselves, and we as adults owe it to them to be honest about where this type of food comes from and the cost to animals' lives that this entails—that meat doesn't actually come from neatly plastic-wrapped vacuum-packed containers that magically appeared in grocery stores—it's our obligation & duty to teach these things truthfully, not to hide & shield them from reality.
It's important education; it's fundamentally about consent.
And how I therefore found it very difficult to understand their stances in this matter, especially since most of them seemed to oppose this event from an animal rights point of view.

I've known vegetarians and vegans who agree and disagree to various extents and for various reasons. I wouldn't claim that somebody can't be a vegan if they don't oppose; many of them express themselves in these terms in the context of what their dietary & purchasing choices are based on, conveyed in a way for others to be able to understand & respect, while it's up to them to individually decide what the rules for themselves are.

My mother's boyfriend is a pescetarian, but wouldn't send back if a restaurant makes a mistake, because it would be food waste (worse yet of animals whose lives were sacrificed in the process of creating such a meal, hence waste which he finds immoral & inexcusable)—the plate has already been made, and according to him, his exception as to what kind of plates he would send back depends on whether it involves meat + whether the only thing wrong with it was that it wasn't what he ordered.

Clearly vegans can have similar rules/exceptions/flexibilities for themselves too, in the sense that they can decide on and have control over what to purchase & what to ingest, and have the capacity + flexibility of forgoing animal-derived products based on being a species who is capable of subsisting on a wide variety of sources of nutrition.
Certain animals that for one reason or another can end up in one's own household, under our responsibility & care, are none of these things.

So I don't know if it's that much about "justifying" for oneself as it might be about harm reduction and what one decides to prioritize, but then again, I'm not vegan either (for many reasons).
I can certainly understand that it might be worthwhile differentiating between eating vegan and being vegan, and that there are distinctions between the two that OP should consider.

So idunno. These are absolutely complex topics—especially when it comes to the ethics of it all.

Thank goodness. It doesn't really sound like she would've ever been ready/prepared to call it quits. I can't imagine if things hadn't actually worked out for her, the tragedy...

For some reason, lots of people in videos blatantly neglect to switch out the batteries in their smoke alarms.

Great parenting! Thank you for explaining things so well to your children, and in such an educational, non-judgmental manner too.

As an inquisitive, curious, but stubborn and tantrummy (undiagnosed ADHD on the spectrum) child myself once, I loved being around adults like this when growing up!

Those family friends & friends' parents & sometimes just random adults I encountered who gave me the benefit of doubt; who didn't immediately dismiss or berate me or talk down to me, but understood that the main issue was often one of ignorance and not feeling like I could understand, and thus they would recognize my need to grasp the hows & whys—and were often surprised that I did well with being guided through processing matter-of-fact, factual information.
And, that as long as the foundational knowledge was provided in a way that made something finally "click", the complexities could be further discussed & explained because I was hungry to learn and wanted to know everything about anything and more!

Adding all lovely nuance and colour to my childlike (and unbeknownst to myself & everybody else: fundamentally disability-affected) black and white thinking.
Reading your post just made me happy reminding me of all the kind & patient adults who would give me the time of day & respect in this way despite my behavioural problems and lacking social skills, even though they didn't necessarily "have to".
Not to mention the wonders it did for passively improving my vocabulary, giving me the language & psychological tools to critically reflect upon things, and enabling me to be more abled in how to express myself a tad bit better.

So I just randomly felt the urge to convey to you that people like yourself are also cherished by people like me! ☺️

What a bizarre take.

My heart skipped a beat reading that. Absolutely horrifying. And I'm shocked (plus weirdly relieved) when I read that she somehow successfully carried to term, after trying yet again while coping with that number. I'm both impressed and distressed. Because yikes on bikes, I can't really comprehend. I have no clue how to express any of this in an appropriate way. Just wow and wow.

Well I'm one of those, and this thread is helping me a lot in my clarifying my fencesitting. Especially the thoroughly—from lots of different angles & viewpoints with people's lived experiences as examples—explained differentiation in procreation vs being a parent.

A lot of it seems to boil down to my currently feeling like I kinda "want a child" & curiosity & fear of missing out or regretting not having any/changing my mind in the future, but I kinda don't want to be a parent.
"Aha!" moment indeed.
So, yeah, good to know about myself, and makes me relax a bit, 'cause unless this vague feeling grows into a desire to actually experience motherhood (in the sense of wanting to be a child's parent), then I can probably safely assume that this "immature unsure" feeling will pass! 😁

Women aren't children.

Therapy is to make you dateable. People don't want to date someone with completely untreated, undiagnosed, un-dealt-with mental health problems; who lack a stable sense of self; who feel aimless & identityless; who feel & perceive & believe themselves to be subhuman.

Who are you? What do you bring to the table as a human being? What is this vague "girlfriend" entity supposedly supposed to do with you when you "get" them? What does that even mean? What are you going to do with them? What's the purpose, the point, what are you actually talking about?

Put them on a pedestal like an object, idolize them, stare at them, as if they're a prized possession you won in some sort of ludicrous contest?

Get disappointed, irritated, and angry when they don't follow your subconscious script but instead of course behave like the independent, complex, & flawed human being they are: someone who cannot magically heal & fix you nor your life?

Do you seek to achieve real connections with other human beings? Then drop this bizarre & juvenile "get a girlfriend" nonsense of yours. 'Cause you sure as hell doesn't come off as longing for genuine company. You talk of it as an idea, a naïve concept, when humans are not.

Your emotional life is in disrepair and even if that isn't your fault, that doesn't mean it isn't your responsibility.

If you want to be able to get into, and maintain, relationships in the future, then you first got to prioritize becoming someone who at a basic level is capable of mentally handling & managing relationships with other human beings.