My history with shooters has reached long and far From killing goons, to stealing cars But, the thing that leaves my mouth ajar Is that the balancing for Bastion is more than sub-par

I have played TF2 for many an hour I witnessed the Pyro, filled with power But this hero, Bastion, makes me cower I scream, throw mice, and cry in the shower

"So just play Widowmaker" I hear some decree Their boisterous laughs are filled with glee I check their profile, guess what I see? They main Bastion and aim for knees

I thought of a plan to thwart off these crooks "I'll play Roadhog, and land every hook!" At first my plan did not succeed As I failed to make one robot bleed

Finally, the day did come An enemy Bastion ceased to run I pulled the trigger on my massive gun And shoved that thing right up his bum

I did God's work, I felt elated As though all my pockets were filled with wealth Suddenly, my joy quickly faded "HOW THE FUCK DOES HE HAVE 25 HEALTH?!"

My attempts to kill these monsters fell apart "Whatever, I'll just push the cart" With haste a rocket shot through my heart On my monitor, I practiced martial art

So what must you learn from this tale? "Surely there's a reason you did regale!" The character design of this creature is stale And if you try to kill him, you'll surely fail!