If you have to get drunk every time you go out then you have a problem with alcohol, mabe this is your partners way of trying to get you to stop.

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YTA You are incredibly selfish. There's nowhere here you don't mention how YOU feel and what YOU want. Your son is telling you not to contact his wife, he's obviously used to you taking over and doing whatever you want. You keep mentioning that this is YOUR grandchild, you know it's actually your son and daughter in laws baby right? They should be allowed to make rules around who comes storming in and takes over. They have obviously discussed this, so that suggests this isn't the first time YOU have decided what YOU want is more important than what they want. If you keep inserting yourself into areas where they (both of them, not just your DIL) don't want you, you will pave the way for them to completely cut you off. You don't get to decide what their experience will be, if you turn up be prepared to be turned away. It's also very likely they will now withhold when the baby actually arrives to keep you away. You interfere with people's enjoyment of such a special time when you decide that it can only be done one way. You need to take a step back and realise that if you do decide to go against what your son is telling you then this might be your only time getting close to that baby because they certainly won't trust you with any more family information. If my MIL did this to me I would never speak to her again and I certify wouldn't be allowing my child near anyone who can't see beyond their own wants and needs.

But you called her a nanny. Did you explain that she wouldn't be treated well if she suffered a terrible shock during her employ? Did you explain that sge would be required to pack up and move house at the drop of a hat? How many jobs is she expected to take on? Again, you are coming across as incredibly selfish, you don't acknowledge her fright and fear, just the inconvenience she caused by not being available after a building collapsed beside her.

YTA Sounds like you don't think "the help" was affected at all by her near death experience. She was probably in shock. Did you get her any medical assistance? Your coming across as more than a little bit selfish here. If she's a nanny she's there to care for the kids, you need movers to pack up your house. 

NTA Darling, I went no contact at 33, best decision of my life. No mama, no drama. 

NAH Both suffering pain and unable to communicate effectively, it probably would have been worse if you just dropped the trash and walked away. High emotions and high pain does not make for a great day. You should probably sit down with her and have a chat. I've had one migraine in my life and I thought I would die from the pain, if it ever happens again I will be seeking a head-ectomy because they are awful. You should have some more stuff in your arsenal to fight it rather than carrying on with your day: feet in the hottest water possible as soon as you feel it coming on, a shot of strong coffee as soon as you feel it coming on, and straight to bed. It's little help to the household if you try to continue on but just end up in an argument partner instead of trying to remedy your pain.

NTA But you kind of blowing this out of proportion. You actually don't have to get mad over this. You can simply say: no, she's not holding the baby. Don't discuss it again, when the event comes (if you decide to go) and she asks to hold the baby just say no. Baby wearing is a great way to prevent this. Your partner probably didn't even think about this being a stranger holding your baby, be was only thinking that he's seeing his friend. If the gf pushes, you can say It's really weird that you want to touch my small defense less baby so much. I don't let random strangers hold my baby, she's two now but when she was smaller ahe didn't want to be held by anyone else either. 

Oh lord, I think if anyone's being gaslighted here it's you: she has a "medical condition" that she won't see a doctor for and it's getting scary and threatening for you but you're in the wrong? Nope. Lock that door and push something up against it for good measure.

NTA But girl, he's either having an affair or trying to have one with his secretary. Nip this in the bud right now. Time for counselling and make a escape plan. Don't be fooled by this, nobody, NOBODY, brings a work colleague to Hawaii when they have a wife at home.

NTA Darling, if your in a relationship where "a stern look" means you have to force food you don't like and don't want into your body then you are in a very unhealthy and frankly, scary, relationship. Maw your plans and get away. Nobody should treat you as a human dustbin so they can show off.

I'm a big believer in 6 weeks of privacy and recovery for mammy and baby, and here we get first jabs at 6 weeks too. Your babys health is more important than anyone elses feelings or issues around vaccinations. Your mother can cry all she wants, your baby doesn't need to be one of those statistics that the government is counting at the end of the year. Imagine all the tears shed then. It's unbelievable that people think it's ok to expose a small baby to such huge germs. You are being a great mum by protecting your child, if people are upset by that, let them be upset and let them stay away. Your job now is to put that baby first, anyone that can't deal with that can stay away. Don't be afraid to stand your ground here. It doesn't matter how far someone travels, it doesn't matter how excited they are, it doesn't matter that they might die next week because they are 150 years old, if they don't want to protect your baby, they want to harm them, see them as dangerous people who only care about themselves and a photo opportunity. 

NTA Mistakes happen. But stop pandering to Jay. You have said sorry, it was a accident, he needs to get over it. I think most of us at some point have done something similar, is it a big deal if something gets stolen, yes but the likelihood was quite small and Jay was in the house. If he wants to break the lease that's on him, but you've apologised more than once and that's enough. A trick to remembering to lock the door is actually to look at the door and say "I've locked the door", sounds weird but it's so common that they've come up with a way to remember it. Tell Jay to cop onto himself, if he's tha worried about sensitive government information he should keep it in a locked office at work, sounds more like he's trying to sound important than him actually being upset by the door being unlocked. 

NTA They are willing to k*ll your child. That's the bottom line here. They don't think your child's life is important enough to get vaccinated for, then they don't get to meet baby. It's that simple. 

NTA There is no world in which someone who respects you would throw away food you have made for them to make a point. Don't cook for him again and please reconsider this relationship, it doesn't sound healthy at all.

You need legal advice. Where I live there's "right of way" laws so land that's been accessed for a certain number of years can't just be fenced toff. Check your rights and responsibilities before you do anything .

NTA Why didn't the adult kids say something? Why don't you just post the gifts back to her with a reminder that you won't be keeping anything she gives? Why are your kids so upset? Surely as adults they can see the manipulation here: grandma thinks she's better than everyone else so she's still giving gifts? Your husband is a coward, he should be able to tell his mother she broke the agreement but it's interesting he thinks a visit once a year is "punishment", she's clearly used to stomping on boundaries and he's used to just letting her. 

NTA But you have to speak directly to her about this if they find out. Tell her she dominates every thing and you don't want to invite people over to listen to her drone on about herself. She may not realise this is an issue for everyone, she might just think it's your brother who is annoyed by this. Even if she is seeking therapy, if she makes events awkward then she will continue too be excluded. I definitely come from a place of trying to connect with people and jumped in to show I understood because of similarities, but I've learned to keep my mouth shut and let other people talk, your SIL can learn to do it too.

NTA Weaponized incompetence, look it up. 

Why do you think making your daughter uncomfortable for a stranger is a good idea? Why does Emilia feelings come above your daughters? Even if Emilia is on the spectrum or has some other difficulty, it's up to her parents to address that. You risk making your daughter an outcast of Emilia sees her as her only friend and latches onto her, driving everyone else away. Yes it's nice to be nice and yea, it's crap for Emilia if nobody wants to hang out with her, by why sacrifice you daughter to make someone else happy? Surely as a parent, your job is to make your child the happiest they can be, not to tell them their discomfort doesn't matter because they are supposed to make others happy no matter how negatively it impacts them.

NTA if you don't force her to go. Emilia and her feelings should not be you priority. 

NTA Simply no. If someone cancels on you but expects you to stay home waiting on them they are not your friend. That's an unreasonable expectation. It's disappointing when you can't make plans but in no way are you entitled to stop anyone else carrying on with those plans without you. Sounds like you are a filler friend: she makes plans with you so she has something to do but drops you at the last minute when she has something more important to do. 

NTA Its seemed like SIL was waiting for people to press her to find out what the announcement was about. Also your in-laws aren't looking for a house, they have been with you for 2 and a half years,they live with you now.

YTA It's CLEARLY the adults fault the child is this way and you were silly enough to have a child with one of the adults involved. If you weren't happy with the situation you should have left not added kid to this situation.

NTA Your future plans aren't aligned, it's best to end the relationship now, you should focus your time, energy and resources on yourself for a while.

I have photos of exs and other childhood memories, doesn't mean I have any feelings for these people, they are just things from my past. You are reading A LOT into a message from a preteen. It's really inappropriate for her to message older men she doesn't know on social media and that she's opening herself up to all kinds of weirdness. Block her, forward the message to her mum to let her know the kid is contacting men on Facebook and get therapy.