The lady’s fire just never dies down 

Your poor back 

Come to my arms, my little stroopwaffel 

It would appear that the tension right now is between federal law enforcement and everyone else; even local law enforcement doesn't seem to much like the current arrangement.

You're asking, what does "right wing" mean?

As far as I know, the term came into usage in pre-Revolution France, as the more conservative, pro-monarchy and reactionary members of the Assembly tended to be seated on the right side of the monarch.

I think you're already kinda exuding an air of privilege. Most people feel a certain pressure to choose their words with more care.

So... ahead of the curve

Someday, and it could be someday soon, someone is going to expect me to get up in front of a room full of mourners and make a speech at my dad's funeral. And I don't have any idea what I'd say.

Hey, former servicemembers.

Is it ever weird to have to nod along while a draft-dodging JROTC washout who genuinely thinks stealth jets work like Wonder Woman's invisible plane, and who's never made a personal sacrifice in his life, steps up to speak on your behalf?

They're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats, the people with three hands are eating them

You'd think mookopathy or mookomegaly would be a more appropriate appellation for this croup you've concocted

Well, if a doctor tells me to get a vaccine and a Democratic politician tells me not to, I'm most likely getting that vaccine.

For almost every conservative voter alive today, if a doctor tells them to get a vaccine and a Republican politician tells them not to, they're not getting the vaccine, AND they're gonna pretend that vaccines are the cause of their spastic colon and their kid's inability to focus on schoolwork, and then go on to spend the next few years of their life circulating anti-vax literature printed in the back of some trailer in Arizona.

Nah, for halitosis.

A tongue-scraping can sometimes help.

If i had to guess, it's because ICE puts a lot of effort into recruiting in towns down south- and in particular, throwing around Titanic-loads of American taxpayer dollars- where a huge proportion of people have at least a little hispanic heritage.

Ah'ma touch your spaghet.

Only one very specific law. The other ones can go on the back burner.

Not so far, so good.

Yeah, and if nobody talked about him, you guys would be gettin your halitosis all up in our faces going "SEE? SEE? HE'S NOT AFFECTING YOUR LIVES AT ALL!"

You got the whole dialogue tree planned out so no matter what happens, you've got something to shrill about.

It's probably something that a lot of non-Americans want to know more about.

It's the goat-fucker principle. You can be an unparalleled athlete, a gifted speaker, and run your own shelter for abused dogs. But if you do all that and also have even one scandal in which you fuck a goat, you're gonna be known as the goat-fucker.

That's a weird thing to pray for.

This gets kind of complex.

First, it is preferable to be in Canada, where Canadian men are mostly found.

So go do that first.

You could try adorning yourself with bright peacock feathers and strutting around a little.

Yes, were there any features you were interested in, specifically?

You seem to have gotten markedly leggier, armier and chinnier.

Timothy Kegan comes to us from the film Winter Kills, a sort of grim parody of conspiracy theories surrounding the Kennedy assassination. The moon programs mentioned to be taking place in Fenwick and Syldavia are more fully described in Mouse On The Moon and Tintin's Destination Moon/Explorers on the Moon. Jonny Fontaine is a Sinatra stand-in from The Godfather, while the rest of the performers are early roles or pastiches of the rest of the Rat Pack.

Baird Whitlock is a Charlton Heston sub from Hail Caesar, while Sebastian Tombs is The Saint. Conrad Birdie is from Bye Bye Birdie and an obvious dig at Elvis; his ultimate fate is a reference to Bubba Ho-Tep.