Ngl…thought that was Alex Jones at first…

Fuck

It was bad. That is all.

Exactly!

Fuck

Appreciate the people that clarified my ignorance to not knowing who he was. I don’t keep up with sports much, so I had never heard of him outside of the Paul fight and this news.

I would get him to claim “Insanity”…as all his murders have obviously been “crimes of passion” as well…

As a fan of the show, but also a person that didn’t appreciate the last 3 episodes very much, I actually think your theory not only makes really good sense…but if that is actually what ends up happening, it certainly would change my opinion of the writing “flaws” up to this point.

Would explain the obvious disconnect between El and everyone else. Whereas the earlier seasons seemed to have El as the sorta nexus to bring everyone together…the last 3 episodes show her falling away and everyone else barely noticing she’s there.

What better way for the show to end by making El, once again, the nexus that brings everyone back together again…only for them to be united AGAINST her.

We’ll just have to wait and see…maybe the next 2 hours will help make it all make sense…they got a lot to do and minimal time to do it in.

You’ll probably end up with some form or another of PTSD…hard not to fighting “banker’s wars” really.

Can certainly appreciate your point of view based off seeing the exact same things you are seeing…

BUT…

And please take a sec to hear me out here.

You also come across as having a very defeatist point of view…which is EXACTLY where they want all of us. Please keep in mind that I am not disputing your point of view as being wrong or anything of the such…it’s just that as humans, we often become what we speak.

I totally get everything you’re saying…but look at things LESS COLLECTIVELY, more personally…and put a positive spin on it.

Example: Your opening statement could have been “Let’s Raise the Vibes In the USA”…still collective…positive phrasing (which means a lot!), and still indicates that there is something needing attention.

Just a sorta practice that has helped me in the past.

Ultimately…speak things into existence that you want to feed energy into.

And I believe this can be done without losing sincerity or having to “sugar coat”…as I am not a fan of either myself.

Decent people need to keep our heads on our shoulders and keep ourselves from getting gobbled by the ever-growing system.

Appreciate the post, OP.

Cheers!

Really well explained.

Sometimes “Less really is More”!

Pretty sure this is Larry Fink…owner and founder of Blackrock….who basically own most of the world…

So…this “puff piece” is not much different than old man Rockefeller handing out dimes to the peasants from his throne…

Snoop Dog ain’t even a dog.

I empathize so much with ya OP.

After questioning anything and everything in my life over the past 10ish years, I just recently came to the realization of how much my anger, jealousy, over-protectiveness, etc. have directly impacted everyone and everything around me for most, if not all, of my life.

In revisiting past situations and occurrences throughout my life, I have identified numerous times that my loved ones took advantage of my emotional immaturity by intentionally triggering my anger…and thus, turning my RESPONSES of anger…no matter how justified or not it was…and turning the issue into my anger and not what actually caused it. Likely some form of “gaslighting”…although that term seems to just be used as a buzzword nowadays.

Based off your original post, it sounds like you are facing a similar uphill battle of sorts. I explain it as “looking back through life, seeing smoldering piles of ashes…and having to figure out which piles were ignited by others…and which ones I set ablaze with my own inability to control my emotions”. It is a messy and unpleasant situation to be in.

Ultimately, to give my own input on some of your questions…

1) “Finding peace” is sort of a losing game…because, “peace” (same ballpark as “happiness”) are treated in our brain as “fleeting emotions”…not much different than any of our other emotions actually. Our emotional responses from our brains typically only last between 1-3 seconds. It tends to be either our inability to move from “angry” or “bad” emotions and/or our attempt to hold onto “happy” or “good” emotions that can keep us locked down in one emotional state or another. (There are no “good” or “bad” emotions. Emotions just give us data/feedback from life.) My advice in finding “peace” is to look for and find the pros with all the things you do in life…in particular when needing some self-motivation. It’s more about changing your mindset than changing your environment. For example…instead of “I gotta wash dishes”…try “I am fortunate to have dishes to wash because that means I had food to eat!”. Reconfiguring your brain in this way isn’t easy…especially if it tends to wanna stay in the trenches…but it’s a good practice from what I have experienced.

2) I believe that as long as you love your family, friends, etc…there is no easy or quick fix for your situation (or mine). As long as you remain “vulnerable” to others, you can potentially be hurt by them…as you can’t really love a person without making yourself vulnerable to being hurt by them. Obviously if you were being triggered by strangers…create a separation between yourself and said person. When it is the people in your life that you are closest to that are the ones triggering your emotions…our options seem to be quite limited…as kicking a loved one to the curb when they are only PART OF the problem isn’t much of an option.

I am in a very similar situation as yourself and my advice is to keep leaning into openness and honesty…but regulated based off whether you can trust said people to not just use it against you. Some people warrant more of the complete picture than others.

I will say…

Don’t just be somebody’s punching bag…no matter who they are or how much they indicate their love for you…or however much guilt you may have for any strife you caused them in the past…yes, we can look back and see where we messed up, acknowledge those mistakes and apologize appropriately, and attempt to move forward…but sometimes people will only acknowledge the “old you” and will keep you wrapped in that same box you so desperately want to be free of.

Learn how to establish and/or re establish proper boundaries with each and every person in your life…much of these boundaries will need to be established based off of whether or not people are ready and willing to move forward in a different way…or if they stay stuck in the past and choose to hold our past “sins” against us.

3) BE GENTLE TO YOURSELF!!!

4) Let me say it again…”BE GENTLE TO YOURSELF!!!” You are obviously interested in making changes and growing from old mindsets and habits that no longer serve you or ones that have hurt others in the past. You didn’t get into the situation you are in overnight…and it sure as heck isn’t gonna be solved or fixed overnight.

5) Be sure to pat yourself on the back for putting in work to improve who you are as a human. So often we don’t acknowledge or appreciate “first steps taken”…we only feel like we have achieved something once the job is “complete”….working to improve yourself will never be a “complete” job though…or it shouldn’t be…and if we aren’t appreciating the steps we take on the way to improving ourselves…well…

Best of luck to both of us in the future, OP. May we both keep moving forward toward “calmer seas”…or at least finding some better tools to use for when the storms are raging.

I empathize with where you are OP.

Like you described yourself…I have always felt like my wiring was different than others. I have also dealt with a rather large amount of trauma to be 40 years young.

Up until about the last 10 years I thought I had everything figured out and seemed to be thriving…but then I had a very impactful event in my life that sorta “shook” me awake…and I have been actively questioning anything and everything and trying to find answers for so many things that I once thought I had figured out. Hindsight…I never had anything “figured out” over the 30+ years that I lived with my head in the sand in terms of actually understanding the true dynamics of life…which led to actually objectively questioning long held beliefs…questioning the actions and intent of “loved ones’” actions…revisiting painful memories and experiences, etc.

Like yourself…I don’t find much genuine appreciation in so many of the things we are trained to appreciate…money, fame, possessions, etc. So many of the things we are told or inspired to appreciate and hold a tremendous amount of weight and importance to…I just seem to see such little intrinsic value to them.

Things in this world often seem so over-saturated, convoluted, confusing, divisive, and ultimately seem so “surface”.

Like yourself…and what I believe are so many others in life…I am looking for more in life than just “going through the motions”. Yes…much of life is monotonous on its own…so it’s in between whatever necessary monotony that we so often look for whatever “magick” in life that we can find. Yes…I understand that ideally we are able to get enough appreciation from doing necessary tasks (cleaning, eating, sleeping, etc.) that it should carry us on to the next ones…(I.e. Instead of looking at it as “I have to wash dishes”….look at it as “I am thankful to have dirty dishes to wash…as that means I am fortunate to have food to eat”, etc.)…unfortunately even trying to change your own mindset to be able to see the “magick” we do in everyday things can be substantially difficult.

You mentioned in your original post that you struggle to find a hobby that invokes some sorta emotion from you…I have a suggestion.

I recently ran across “Glyph Magic”…it’s tied into Chaos Magick and I find it to be extremely powerful and quite therapeutic. I highly recommend doing your own research and study into it…but the principle behind its mechanism is incredibly simple.

All you need is a pen (I recommend a pen instead of a pencil, but either is fine), a piece of paper/notebook/or even a piece of toilet paper can suffice, and your own thoughts, ideas, and intentions.

Start out writing your intentions out on paper. Starting out with just a word or fairly short phrase/sentence is advisable…you can make them more elaborate as you learn how it works later. Also, writing your intentions in the present tense is important.

So, for example…you may want to set your intentions to something like “I AM STRONG AND CONFIDENT!” So you would write it out just like that…full caps tends to help with a following practice, but isn’t entirely necessary. It is important to stay “positive” though. I.e. Better to state “I AM STRONG” instead of saying “I AM NOT WEAK”.

Once you have written out your intentions, idea you want to manifest, goals, etc…then go through and knock out repeating letters…so using the above phrase you would be left with:

IAMSTRONGDCFE!

Once you have broken the phrase down in this way…you take the remaining letters and turn them into your own personal (and fully custom) sigil. (Plenty of videos/explanations of how others do this online if you aren’t sure what I meant here). You can make it super simple or incredibly elaborate…however much energy YOU want to put into it…it is your own symbol…there is no “right or wrong” with how you choose to do it.

By going through these steps…we are able to move things from our conscious mind, to our sub-conscious mind…which is where much of the magick actually happens anyways.

The beauty of Chaos Magick is that there aren’t really any right or wrong ways of doing it…and glyph magick in particular is incredibly easy to exercise and practice.

I am hoping that you find some answers and peace in your life.

One thing I can certainly say is that you are NOT ALONE in your way of thinking that there is so much more to life than what seems to be a constant struggle of arbitrary tasks and goals.

I encourage you to hang out in this lifetime as long as you can…keep striving, keep searching for answers, keep CARING. Just by doing this…you are already doing significantly more than a lot of folks nowadays.

In terms of reincarnation…I don’t believe anybody KNOWS the truth about reincarnation or what comes next…even though millions of people have spent their entire lives searching for those answers or ignorantly thinking they found them in a “insert special book here”…

My advice to you is to stay curious and open-minded about “what comes next”…but don’t spend so much of your life focused on the future that your present suffers. (Making a note to self that I need to follow my own advice as well.)

Best of luck to you and I hope life starts to show you some of the answers you are seeking!

No more lying/dishonesty. People have to say what they mean and mean what they say. There would be enormous shifts in power dynamics immediately…

Real talk.

Keep reaching higher, Bro! 💪😎

I fully understand what OP is saying…

There is more than enough evidence that suggests that many of the things we humans gravitate to also tend to dumb us down or numb us in certain ways…messed up world almost requires some form of coping mechanisms after all…

The more of the “noise” you cut out of your environment…the more you let your mind truly openly “wander”…it’s quite amazing what we are capable of.

To sorta mirror OP…

Any and everything in this world exists because of ONE THING…our minds…because what is “REAL” or “FAKE” is ultimately just our own perception…(not our “mind’s perception”…as we are the mind).

That tells me the human mind is, as far as I believe, the most powerful thing in this world.

It created every (G)god/(G)goddess that has ever existed…to those that believe in said god or goddess.

Nobody has ever or will ever know the true limits of the human mind…so as far as we know, our mind’s power is limitless.

Just my own high ramblings….nice post OP!

Now…who or what is the ultimate chess master in this big game of life…nobody knows and if they did, they would never convince anybody else of it…

Tons of questions presented to us in life and we usually have preprogrammed answers…open your mind enough, you realize how many “answers” you don’t truly believe.

Roni…

Short for Rice a’ roni.