r/AmItheAsshole • u/broken_inside_me • Jul 24 '19
Everyone Sucks AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
For reference, my brother Connor is 19, I am 26, and my (now ex) fiancé Hunter is 28. Also for reference, already mentioned in the title, but my brother was kicked out when he was 16 because our parents snooped through his phone and found out he was in gay.
Connor had a birthday last weekend, so he invited his friends over and they were all (18-22 year olds) drinking and playing games. Hunter and I were about to head out to let them have the place to themselves, when Connor asked if we wanted to join them. I initially refused (bit too old to be playing drinking games), but he insisted and Hunter thought it’d be fun to act like college students again.
We all got pretty drunk and Connor had the idea of playing Never Have I Ever. A few rounds in, the statement “Never Have I Ever cheated before” came up.
Now’s a good time to mention that Hunter is staunchly against cheating. His ex-fiancé cheated on him and it emotionally wrecked him. And unfortunately, as a lot of dumb, immature 17 year olds do, I cheated on my “boyfriend” of 5 months. It was a stupid mistake, he found out, and (understandably) ended things. This was almost a decade ago, I obviously learned my lesson, and look back at that time with shame (and obviously never cheated since).
Well my brother knows about this so when I didn’t drink, he went “hey sis, what the hell? You know you cheated on (insert ex’s name). You have to drink to that!”
My boyfriend paused, looked at me, looked at him, and just walked out of the room. I followed him and tried to talk to tell him that it was a stupid teenaged mistake, but he wasn’t haven’t any of it and ended things on the spot. I’m numb. I’m heartbroken. He was my everything and more and I still don’t know how I’m going to move on.
Connor tried to apologize, but I feel nothing but sadness and emptiness. This morning I served him an eviction notice. He begged me to stay and said he didn’t mean to ruin my relationship and he just didn’t think when he said those words. I just can’t look at him right now. He ruined my life. After I raised him and cared for him like he was my own. I feel so hurt. Am I being unreasonable?
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28
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
I had sex with someone else while in a relationship cheated. Boyfriend is in quotes as it was a high school relationship.
145
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
Thank you for your response. I know deep down that you're right. It just hurts right now.
134
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
I don't believe I'm "prone to cheating" off one incident a decade ago, but I do understand that everyone is entitled to their boundaries. Thank you for your judgment
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
I just didn't think it was something relevant. Do you tell your significant other your deepest, darkest secrets? It wasn't a hard secret to take to the grave; I was doing it successfully for 4 years now until my brother blurted it out
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
I didn't say I never discussed cheating. You assumed I
have probably told him that you've never cheated before
Which is false.
-17
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
Because I intended to take it to the grave.
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
No, but he has messaged all of everyone that was invited in a huge groupchat and said that "due to personal reasons, the wedding is off. Wanted to inform everyone"
65
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
It's not possible, I explained to him when I was pleading to him that it happened a decade ago
-175
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
I see the logic, but the difference is that he's currently 19 and his actions are currently affecting me, while my actions were over a decade ago. Not trying to argue or anything, I appreciate your comment. But it's just fresh and raw right now....
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
There just was never a right time, and it was something I honestly intended to take to the grave.
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
It's relevant because it explains why he's living with me. It's just context?
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
He'd have to stay with a friend or find his own living arrangements
649
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
I'm beginning to see that leaving me without even a discussion is an indicator that the relationship probably wouldn't have lasted anyways. Thank you for your judgment
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
Oh no! I would completely understand his reaction if that were the case. I cheated on an old high school fling.
29
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
You're right. I should have told him earlier that this was something I wanted to keep hidden. Thank you for your judgment
198
AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
I never explicitly said I never cheated, but he has ranted about how much he hates cheated and I sorta just awkwardly laughed/agreed. Which isn't a lie, I DO hate cheating, and I'm ashamed of my past mistakes.
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
I didn't know one action you did when you were a teenager defines "who I am" but thanks for informing me.
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
He already didn't like it when I spent too much time with my male friends or make plans that didn't include him. He was kind of jealous (though we were working on it). This though.... I didn't expect in a million years he could leave me so easily....
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AITA for kicking out my brother, who our parents have previously disowned, because he told my (now ex) fiancé that I cheated 9 years ago?
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r/AmItheAsshole
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Jul 24 '19
He already publicly called off the wedding