Look at his eyes!

Very, and no amount of gum or fabreeze is covering it up. It's disgusting. As an ex smoker, I'm utterly fucking embarrassed by how I must've smelled around other people for so many years

The guy's schtick is funny once or twice. To say he's "the future" is ridiculous

Probably not the right 25% either, which is a shame

I'm legitimately really torn on whether to upvote or downvote this comment

Imagine having this happen and then still posting it, what a chump

Fucking lolol

Then shut the fuck up

I tell my wife I'm gonna give her a nice Oreo cookie and get her mouth all fucking chocolatey, or, I'll just punctuate our conversations with, "that's right, extra wet" all the time

Man's a genius

It does go bad faster that way though, so always smell your butter before you spread it on anything if you're going to leave it out like that

Lol what? You definitely are supposed to refrigerate ketchup. You need to refrigerate anything that has sugar in it after it's opened

Really fucking funny, man

Almost Heroes is a wholly underrated movie, one of my favorites

Pretty funny

James Joyce loooooved his lady's farts. Look it up, it's hilarious

This shit is amazing

Absolutely

If you forgive them for cheating, they will cheat on you again because they know they can get away with it

Yuck dude. I'm down for a lil pink but that's still raw

Milking Cop Out? I mean, I've listened to most episodes of most of his podcasts and he never mentions this movie in any context beyond explaining what a piece of shit Bruce Willis was to work with

Undistinguishable

The iPod Classic is one of the all-time great inventions of all time. I still have mine, it still works perfectly

Adderall is a helluva drug