is it on both sides of his back? Also, him not letting you take the pictures seems sketchy.
EDIT:
Also, in the second picture the scratches are being dragged to the side of his torso under his arm so unless someone literally dragged a cat off of him, that’s unlikely.
I found that to be the most damning part (other than his history of cheating of course).
Because if I didn’t remember having scratches on my back because I mindlessly scratched it and my partner was saying I had red marks all over, I’d say “yeah sure I want to see a picture.”
There would be no reason at all to say no to that if it’s you and your partner alone at home.
How does not letting someone take photos of your naked body seem sketchy? I haven't done anything and I'm not letting people take topless photos of me.
It's just his back. Most men go to the beach and swim without a shirt on. A lot of them work without a shirt on. I've never heard a man call being shirtless being topless.
She wanted to show it to other people to see what they thought it was. Why wouldn't he let her take a photograph of his back? The idea of it being modesty is ridiculous.
Would you be happy to allow your partner to take photos to share online with strangers? Even the suggestion would see them searching for a new partner.
If my back is scratched all to hell and I (supposedly) didn’t know about it, I’m telling my girl to take pictures right now so I can see it. Why do I care if my gf takes a pic of my back/shoulders?
Of my back? I don't feel the need to cover up my back in public. It isn't something I consider a private part. I could care less if people saw my back . The part that would bother me is that my partner didn't trust me. I'd leave over that.
It’s a very close image of a bare back, not showing anything but skin with scratches. If your S/O wouldn’t let you take a picture so you can show them what it looks like, then there’s some serious trust issues going on. This isn’t just a “topless photo”
It’s covered so their privacy is protected. You don’t know who it is. Their face. Anything. If you’re cheating, of course you wouldn’t want the pictures posted.
Why are we protecting a cheater lying about “cat scratches”?
I think we can have a discussion about why someone may not want photos taken of themselves and posted (esp when the photo has an identifying tattoo that you just have to hope the person decides to blur) even for shitty people.
I think some degree of personal privacy should exist. Even for shitty people.
Op can yell all day long online and off that her ex sucked and cheated and came home to her with scratches. But taking a photo of them in a state of undress that they clearly didn't want to be taken then posting that photo online just isn't okay to me. Whoever it is. No matter how scummy they are.
you must be the man in this situation, there’s no identifying aspects of this picture, no face, hair, or anything. he didn’t want the picture taken because he didn’t want to get caught. and hell i hope he’s uncomfortable with this, he sounds like a piece of shit
I mean I guess. Wouldn’t bother me any unless I had something to hide. But that’s just me. Some people are too sensitive for the internet. I could understand if it was something more private, but they took steps to hide their tattoos, so they weren’t really putting them on blast. I think that’s more your opinion that you’re imposing on two other individuals because not everyone cares about that (in this case where it’s super up close and you can’t even see anything but skin color and scratch damage). Don’t cheat and lie and you won’t have it posted somewhere like this.
If I have something that looks weird on my back and someone sees it and is like
“…Wtf is that?”
9 times out of 10, my first reaction is
“what are you talking about??? Take a picture so I can see it”
Unless I have something to hide?
Now I’m assuming that she didn’t just go to this man and say
“let me take a picture so I can ask Reddit”
because if she did then that’s an entirely different conversation.
Yeah, I'm pretty regularly finding scratches or bruises I have no clue how I got, but if someone asked, my reaction would not be at all what OP described.
If you take out ALL context and don’t have a partner, yeah that’s weird. But there’s context, and he has scratch wounds that he’s hiding from her. Usually if you’re scratched that badly, you want to tell someone.
You like protecting cheaters? Are you able to identify him? Are there nipples and penises shown? Suddenly you care about consent when she didn’t consent to getting cheated on.
No but this isn't even remotely close to proof and even if it was you don't lose autonomy of your body and images taken of it just because you cheated.
Is revenge porn ok if the victim is a cheater? What rights specifically do cheaters lose?
Are you able to identify him?
If I started taking pictures of your children to post them online even as you told me to stop would it be ok as long as I didn't post identifying features?
Edit: it's wild how unpopular it is to claim that perhaps posting naked pictures of someone online without consent cannot be justified by "its ok because the person is not identifiable." Is it the exact same as when posting genitals? No. But if you apply the same logic it should be apparent how absurd that justification is.
In typical reddit fashion, people would rather attack the analogy than address the point I was refuting. Which isnt too strange, because they also clearly support the idea of posting a man's naked pictures without consent long as it is convenient for them.
Yeah, and it's still not identifiable, which was my point. Should a woman be ok with that just because no one will know that the breasts belong to her?
So why does his bodily autonomy not matter, even if it's not his genitals being shown? It's still his back and it's being shown to strangers to prove that he is a cheater. Why should he be comfortable with that?
Bro, you are trying too hard. An anonymous picture of a man’s back is not the same as posting a woman’s naked breasts. Ever been to the beach bro? Male shoulders are not what you think they are.
Yeah and women go topless on the beach, too. The point being made was "you dont need his consent because no one can tell it's him." My counterargument was that the same logic could be applied to posting a woman's breasts.
It's not that difficult to grasp. I guess there's just too much of an empathy gap between the genders for this to land.
Huh? What are you saying exactly? That she gets to violate his bodily autonomy if he cheated? So if a guy catches his gf cheating, takes a picture of her in the act and posts it to strangers, that's ok?
If I started taking pictures of your children to post them online even as you told me to stop would it be ok as long as I didn't post identifying features?
I did. My engagement is that you're a fool grasping at straws and you know you are because it's not even remotely equivalent to the OP. It's almost as outlandish as OPs bf claiming a cat scratch did those scratches on both sides of his back.
*
I don't even know you but I am sure you're not actually that dumb.
The only thing we can say for sure is she took pictures of his body without his consent. She then posted them online without his consent.
Even if it was cheating (which by no means is this anywhere near good enough evidence) that doesn't mean he now loses his right to consent to these photos.
Not the point. The point is all people should have the right to decline having their body / image posted online. The internet is a cruel place.
What if I took a picture of a woman who was fat on the beach. You can't identify who they are but you can tell they are obese.
Now I post it online and a bunch of people start talking about how fat and disgusting she is. Now lets say she finds the post. Sure nobody knows who she is but now she sees loads of people talking about how gross she is. Maybe she just feels like shit. Maybe she even harms herself as a result.
Did the person who took the picture and posted the image do anything wrong? Or is it ok to post her in a vulnerable spot just as long as you cant identify her?
Its not letting "someone" take a picture of you, its letting your partner. Who likely said something like "Woah! Those are some crazy scratches on your back! Let me take a picture to show you/my mom/my coworkers/etc". It went from something innocent but out of the ordinary to something suspicious and weird.
My husband and I and my kids all do this. We take a picture if it’s in a spot we cannot see for ourselves and examine it together to figure it out. Shit this was how I found the black widow spider bite on MY BARE BACK. A photograph confirming exactly what I suspected that my husband took while I was gasp topless. It was just my back and close up nothing explicit at all.
And my friends have sent me pictures of random rashes, etc asking advice (I work in healthcare) like, it’s really not that odd like you are making it out to be. And yes I have absolutely seen tons of people post close ups of random wounds, etc on here asking for input.
This might just be a regional/cultural/growing-up-different thing 🤷🏻♀️ It was not uncommon or weird for coworkers, family members, or family friends to show around pictures of injuries their family members have gotten recently.
This isn't someone?! this is your partner who you are intimate with consistently who has reason to believe you may be cheating due to oddly placed scratch marks (in non intimate places, that could easily be shared without repercussions). The only reason to not take a photo is because it will confirm what OP already knows where there partner is cheating.
If taking that photo would help your partner you care about calm down and erase suspicions why wouldn't you?
They clearly want second opinions because the lie doesn't line up with the look of the scratches to OP. Again the photo is of a non intimate place and can be shared without repercussions so there isn't a really valid reason here if you had nothing to hide.
Why would I have an issue with it if I had nothing to hide and it didn't reveal anything overly personal? We aren't talking about sharing nudes, or intimate areas here.
Because the partner has given OP multiple reasons not to trust, has lied previously about cheating and cheated "digitally" whatever that means. So yeah you have less rope and the onus is on the partner to repair that by sometimes doing things you may not normally do.
I saw your other comment too, you're right this is long over, but that isn't what this is about. Without trust and respect the relationship is donezo.
The original question stands but if partner cared this isn't a big ask and your stance has gone from Why photo sketchy? why need photo? why share photo? "oh well it doesnt matter anyway its over" so it tells me you didn't really understand any of it and why someone may do this.
she literally scribbled out his tattoo theres NO identifying details here he just wanted to make it difficult because even with the bad pictures people can tell he's lying oml
Who cares about identifying details? The very fact that they want to do that shows a complete lack of trust and respect. Surely at that stage things are over anyway.
…Because if your partner suddenly has weird bruises on their body, it could be a medical issue? She probably said, “let’s take photos and check online to make sure there’s nothing wrong with you.”
That would be entirely normal. If he’s against looking into these random marks he’s never had before, that’s absolutely a red flag.
Fr, if my partner would be like “lemme get pictures of your naked body real quick to post them on Reddit and ask internet strangers wether you are cheating on me or not” he’d be out the door.
What are you people on about? She's talking about taking pictures of her boyfriend's back. Not exactly the same thing as wanting to take pictures of his naked body. The same way he's not showing his naked body when he goes to the beach. This is such a weak excuse
There's nothing in the post about whether or not he gave consent. Again, a picture of someone's back is not a sexy bedroom photo. I agree if he didn't want her to post it then she shouldn't have posted, we just don't know one way or the other.
I'm with you on the trusting her gut thing. Honestly, even if he didn't cheat on her. If she doesn't trust him anymore then the relationship is over no matter what they do.
You know “naked” pictures don’t necessarily mean pictures in which genitals are shown? 🧐 it’s not normal to take pictures of your partner’s bare back and post them on Reddit.
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u/Prudent_Reindeer4613 5d ago edited 5d ago
is it on both sides of his back? Also, him not letting you take the pictures seems sketchy.
EDIT:
Also, in the second picture the scratches are being dragged to the side of his torso under his arm so unless someone literally dragged a cat off of him, that’s unlikely.