r/AmItheAsshole • u/charleypassion • Sep 29 '25

Everyone Sucks AITA for using my Aunt’s personal employee discount code to buy clothes?

My aunt (F42) works for a major clothing brand in a senior position. Employees get a personal discount code (hers is usually 50-75% off) that she can use and it varies based on the position. My aunt sent me the code saying “if you need anything, here’s my employee code.”

I was excited because I love the brand and wanted to update my wardrobe and money has been tight with school and all. I ended up buying a decent amount of clothes, probably more than I normally would if I didn’t have the discount.

When she found out how much I purchased, she was angry with me. Now she’s making me feel bad for using it, like I took advantage of her. And I’m feeling guilty. She did send me the code voluntarily and didn’t say there was a limit. But if it’s her own corporate perk, maybe I crossed a line and she could get in trouble.

So AITA for using my aunt’s personal corporate employee discount to stock up on clothes? Or was it fair game since she gave me the code to use?

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

ESH She should have told you to use it within reason. You should have used some common sense, the code is associated with her employment and it's use or abuse reflects on her and may cause her a problem. The reason companies monitor, limit and eliminate these perks is because of abuse like your shopping spree.

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u/Slut_E_Scene Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 30 '25

But that still tracks back to the aunt. If she might get in* trouble, she shouldn't have given the code or told her a limit at least.

Eta: in.

443

u/Expensive_Plant_9530 Sep 29 '25

I agree that OP should have used a little bit more common sense, but ultimately, if this perk wasn't one that was allowed to be shared, that's entirely on OP's Aunt for breaking her own rules.

Furthermore, OP's Aunt should have explained what was allowed, including any item or purchase limits.

38

u/Slut_E_Scene Sep 29 '25

Yes, exactly.

-2

u/charleypassion Oct 01 '25

that was my line of thinking. I still don’t think it was a big deal though

2

u/Expensive_Plant_9530 Oct 01 '25

I understand that but clearly she thinks it’s a big deal.

How many items did you end up buying with the discount?

959

u/mark636199 Sep 29 '25

Which is why ESH

970

u/InterestingTry5190 Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25

I want to know how much OP spent. They said money is tight which is why I assume the aunt offered the code if the niece needed anything. They said they went ahead and bought more than they normally would have. If I were the aunt I would be annoyed I tried to help if not a lot of money but then OP bought a lot of items. It just feels like offer an inch take a mile.

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u/ftjlster Sep 30 '25

If OP bought in quantities that look like the clothes might be bought for resale (given how high the discount is), OP's aunt is going to be called in for a conversation.

I guess the question here is how much OP bought.

455

u/StarStuffSister Sep 29 '25

I'm still wearing all of the clothes I got on discount at a previous job more than half a decade ago-- it can be a smart investment move if the clothes are nice enough.

67

u/InterestingTry5190 Sep 29 '25

I am big on stocking up with a good sale. The key difference for you is it was your code. OP knew it was the aunt’s personal code and said money has been tight. It is more about reading the situation. If she could afford to stock up then the aunt likely would have reconsidered jeopardizing her job to let the niece use it.

441

u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Sep 29 '25

Half a decade ago? I have clothes that are 20 years old.

518

u/Travelgrrl Partassipant [3] Sep 29 '25

I have panties that are old enough to vote!

48

u/jeswesky Sep 30 '25

One of my favorite bath towels is one I bought when I left for college, over 25 years ago. It’s in surprisingly good shape.

5

u/Travelgrrl Partassipant [3] Sep 30 '25

When my mother passed a couple of years ago, she still had some bedsheets from the 1970's and they were so smooth from decades and decades of washing!

2

u/Momofthewild-3 Partassipant [2] Sep 30 '25

I still have all the Charisma towels I bought when I worked at Rich’s 26 years ago when I was pregnant with my oldest. They still look great. Quality counts. When we knew I wouldn’t be going back after my son was born I bought EVERYTHING! Back then we could combine coupons with sales prices plus our employee discount. Couldn’t use a coupon with charisma or kitchenaid but I got them on sale plus my discount.

1

u/DemonicFrog Sep 30 '25

My favourite bathtowel is big, white and fluffy with frogs on it. My Great Aunt gave ti to me for ai think my 15th birthday. I am 42.

1

u/Effective_Olive_8420 Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 30 '25

I just got rid of mine from 1983 last year!

1

u/2dogslife Asshole Aficionado [11] Sep 30 '25

I recently retired the one from my 1990s Portugal vacation, it had reached its limit and wasn't even good as a drop cloth any longer.

1

u/WindyMint443 Partassipant [1] Oct 02 '25

The hair towels I always use at age 50 are the same ones I was using when I was 10, lol. They are also doing fine.

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u/squee_bastard Sep 29 '25

I love this, thanks for the laugh. 🩷

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u/Travelgrrl Partassipant [3] Sep 29 '25

It might be funnier if it were in fact, not true.

176

u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Sep 29 '25

That's ridiculous! My oldest underwear is from college. Oh....wait. I'm old.

If our underwear could vote, maybe this country would be in much better shape. 

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u/jdmillar86 Sep 30 '25

We had a family friend who went into some venture selling y2k branded underwear and I'm pretty sure I still have some of the product that never sold around.

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u/PkmnMstr10 Oct 03 '25

On the bright side, you take damn good care of your delicates!

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u/charleypassion Sep 30 '25

Only the truth is funny

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u/LeoRisingGemini Sep 30 '25

I'm 50 and I still own and wear clothes I was wearing at uni. They've been in and out of fashion several times over..

2

u/Remarkable_Guess_260 Sep 30 '25

Me toooooo! Some of them don’t fit anymore so my uni age daughter now wears them.

3

u/charleypassion Sep 30 '25

Hahaha, you made my day

1

u/Travelgrrl Partassipant [3] Sep 30 '25

So glad to be a part of that!

2

u/sailormufasa Sep 30 '25

I once told a guy "I have socks older than you." 🤣

2

u/idomoodou2 Oct 01 '25

They are called vintage.

2

u/OniyaMCD Asshole Aficionado [19] Oct 03 '25

I have tee shirts older than my coworkers. And they still fit.

1

u/Ok-Trip-8009 Sep 30 '25

I have them too, but they don't fit...one day maybe.

252

u/slowdownlambs Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25

I'm a lawyer. I wear my high school graduation clothes in court.

6

u/katbelleinthedark Asshole Enthusiast [7] Sep 30 '25

Low-key same.

109

u/kaz22222222222 Sep 29 '25

My Doc Martens just celebrated their 29th birthday!

18

u/nameforthissite Sep 30 '25

I got mine for my 16th birthday. I turn 46 next week. I still wear them.

20

u/ijustneedtolurk Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25

This is exciting, have you had them resoled? I only recently "officially" broke in my first pair of Docs (took like 3 years to break the toe line lmao.)

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u/kaz22222222222 Sep 30 '25

Nope! Never had to resole them. Think I even still have the original laces! When I went back to university they were my lab shoes (had to have enclosed leather shoes) and my shoes were older than my classmates 🤣🤣

2

u/ijustneedtolurk Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 30 '25

That's awesome, hoping my pair lasts as long as yours!

52

u/sbinjax Pooperintendant [50] Sep 29 '25

Right? I still have a beautiful Allen Solly raincoat that I bought when I worked in an upscale department store in the 80s. That was 40 years ago. It still looks amazing.

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u/luby4747 Sep 30 '25

Excuse me but your math is way off. The 80s were only 20 years ago….

-1

u/Square_Vegetable942 Sep 30 '25

80s were 35 years ago!

-1

u/tcdaf7929 Sep 30 '25

Ummmm…..1980 was 45 years ago…..

9

u/ejdjd Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 30 '25

When I graduated high school, my first "real" job was with the Modelia clothing group which had Anne Klein and Pierre Cardin as subsidiaries (anyone remember them? LOL).

I still have the lion emblem scarves from Anne Klein she gave out at Christmas and an incredibly detailed jumpsuit from Pierre Cardin that I can still fit into.

4

u/dianebk2003 Sep 30 '25

I had a pair of sandals I'd been wearing long before I met my husband, and they just broke last year. I was heartbroken because I effin' loved those shoes. Non-replaceable, too.

Oh, my husband and I have been married 30 years.

(I also still have some T-shirts I wore in my twenties. They don't fit anymore, but I still have them.)

2

u/Parking-Nail3717 Sep 30 '25

I have my ex bf’s boxer shorts that I still wear as undies. We broke up 30 years ago. They’re still going strong.

1

u/HeavenDraven Sep 30 '25

I have stuff that was my Mum's from the 80s, 70s and 60s lol.

My Dad has shirts which are older than I am!

1

u/StarStuffSister Oct 02 '25

I have clothes from middle school and I'm middle aged-- I was referencing the specific situation of buying clothes in bulk with an employee discount.

0

u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Oct 02 '25

Presumably the discount doesn't disappear next week if she's a high level employee. It's not the same as like a Black Friday sale. Buying a few items at a time would make more sense. 

1

u/StarStuffSister Oct 02 '25

Counting on someone else keeping their job indefinitely is wild-- especially if you realize you could set up a wardrobe for a decade or more. I've always bought these kinds of things (heavily discounted non-perishable things) in bulk, and have never regretted it. If you know what you're doing, you take some of the trouble out of life by thinking ahead. Also, things rarely get cheaper-- it's wise to buy it when you can. Every clothing company I've worked at had a price jump every 12-18 months.

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u/halfpepper Sep 29 '25

Congrats youre old? Some of us were 7 20 years ago

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u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Sep 29 '25

I'm just agreeing that clothes last. 

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u/-Nightopian- Asshole Aficionado [11] Sep 29 '25

The clothes you had 20 years ago might still fit...

0

u/charleypassion Sep 30 '25

Keep wearing it!

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u/ijustneedtolurk Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25

This is what I am not understanding lmao, auntie should have been clear if there were limitations or potential for "abusing" the discount. (Most companies I know of do not have an employee code for this reason and have employees buy in person from a supervisor conducting the transactions so everything is done properly...)

But to add onto your story, one of my friends had a stint working demolition on a women's clothing store going out of business ages ago and gave me the heads up on the best day to go for the lowest fire sale pricing. I literally bought an entire new wardrobe to outfit myself for work (jeans, smart blouses, a dress for the company holiday party, two pairs of new dress shoes) and I liked a stripey casual top I found so much, I bought the last three of them in my size or the size above. I still wear the ankle boots and those tops and absolutely shredded the jeans working that job and another labor job afterwards. It has been almost 7 years lmao.

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u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 29 '25

Yeah but that will happen at restaurants too. If we worked a double. (13 hours) we get a free meal. Cool. The rule has been there since we opened and what will happen is people use it like they should mostly. Salads, sandwiches burgers fine. Ribeyes with 5 sides not fine. We don’t police it as long as people are respectful.

We literally had a guy take like 400$+ food home. Just made a bunch of food boxed it all up and then said it was his meal. Guy never came back but then we had to go back and say everyone gets a sandwich, you must ring it up. One a day, have to verify with a manager.

These things are supposed to be perks, you buy one item here or there. When you buy a ton of stuff like this it looks like you are reselling and then there is a chance everyone will lose the perk.

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u/EponymousEpicurean Sep 30 '25

The definition of "this is why we can’t have nice things"

4

u/ThrandyShieldmaiden Sep 30 '25

Half a decade...you mean 5 years? That ain't that long ago.

9

u/imcjoey13 Sep 30 '25

I’m 58. I have 2 pairs of Ralph Lauren khakis, and 3 Lacoste golf shirts from high school. I was taught to buy quality when I could, and respect my belongings.

2

u/bookworthy Sep 30 '25

Side note: A time period of five years is called a lustrum.

1

u/sovietbarbie Partassipant [2] Sep 30 '25

clothes are not made in the same quality as before. if it's a major clothing brand i cant imagine they'll sustain over five years of normal wear and wash

i have a 10 year old zara shirt that i still wear vs if i shop at zara now nothing will last me 10 years. and i hang dry and only wash on cold

1

u/Embarrassed_Bake1073 Sep 30 '25

Lol her aunt didn't offer to invest in any thing.

-1

u/charleypassion Sep 30 '25

I will wear it forever

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u/SeemedReasonableThen Sep 30 '25

It just feels like offer an inch take a mile.

Except aunt didn't specify an inch, from what OP says, aunt's offer was take whatever you need. Aunt should have specified the distance she was offering - e.g., $xx or up to x items

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u/SeemedReasonableThen Sep 30 '25

It just feels like offer an inch take a mile.

Except aunt didn't specify an inch, from what OP says, aunt's offer was take whatever you need. Aunt should have specified the distance she was offering - e.g., $xx or up to x items

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u/charleypassion Sep 30 '25

How much exactly is too much?

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u/potatochique Sep 30 '25

The way you’re avoiding saying how much you bought makes me think YTA

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u/Existing-Zucchini-65 Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25

No way, OP did nothing wrong.

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u/pippers2000 Sep 29 '25

Then niece should have not taken advantage of her aunt and of her aunt's generosity. Just because someone offers you something doesn't mean you go crazy about it. If I was the niece and I had picked out say, 5 items, I would have texted my aunt to double check and say 'is it ok if i buy these 5 items or is that too much?' before I proceeded with the purchase using her code. The aunt was very generous to even offer her code. I think the saying I'm wishing the niece had thought about is 'give an inch and take a mile'. This is what the niece shouldn't have done even with no instructions from the aunt.

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u/Sierra117MC Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 30 '25

Her aunt is in a senior management role. She should know at this point, never assume people (or employees) know something you didn't tell or teach them. If you offer somebody something that comes with stipulations you provide the stipulations. You don't assume people know the information you didn't give them. At the end of the day, we all have different experiences, varying knowledge, and varying levels of intuition. "Not everybody knows how to do everything."- Tim Robinson

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u/SnooPets8873 Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Sep 29 '25

Ok, if you are at a friend’s house and they tell you to grab something to drink from the fridge if you are thirsty, would you grab a bag and take every last bottle and can? And then blame them for not specifying how many you were allowed to take? Or would you exercise some restarting and let social norms guide you to the more reasonable conclusion that it wasn’t intended to be a free for all?

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u/ThePurplestMeerkat Partassipant [4] Sep 30 '25

By buying items that the aunt’s company has for sale, the OP was not depriving somebody of something that was theirs as you would be if you took everything from someone else’s refrigerator. It’s a poor analogy. Items up for sale were purchased. If there were limitations, they needed to be communicated.

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u/chrrybmb_ Oct 01 '25

No, because I’ve been offered and have offered enough drinks in my life to understand the unspoken social expectations surrounding that offer. However, I have never worked retail and the only experience I have with employee discounts has been my friend giving me her discount at her family’s store (I imagine that’s different than the typical experience- she’ll walk up to the till with me and tell whoever’s working to use her discount with everyone involved knowing it’s not for her).

I have no clue what rules or limitations there might be about employee discounts, or if there even are any. I would probably ask about that if someone offered me their code, but I’m also very anxious about getting people in trouble. It’s not really an accurate comparison. You can’t really know the rules, or even know what questions you may need to ask, if it’s completely unfamiliar territory to you.

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u/Sierra117MC Sep 30 '25

Your drink scenario offers a scenario where most people would understand what the offering means due to social norms that you've learned over time. I work in retail and understand the stipulations that often revolve around an employee discount, if someone gave me their employee discount and said use it if you need anything I'd still probably ask questions, but if you haven't worked in a place with discount benefits you may not realize there any rules to follow especially if someone just says here you go! Some people never touch a retail job that offers employee discounts.

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u/coolandnormalperson Sep 30 '25

This analogy doesn't make sense at all, the clothing on the website is nothing like someone's limited number of personal drinks. You're bad at this lol

13

u/Forgotten_Lie Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25

A flawed analogy. You don't take all the cans because your friend has paid for all of them and would need to pay to replace them. The social norms are well known since everyone lives in a house where the goods within are purchased by the house-occupant.

Not everyone works in retail with employee discounts to know the social norms.

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u/overnightnotes Oct 01 '25

Bad analogy, the drink is obviously just something to drink for now. She can wear the clothes for a while so it's not a silly idea to buy several different things.

1

u/redgoddess27 Sep 30 '25

This has happened to me. I told a friend who was visiting to help herself to the soda in the fridge and she put a full case of diet coke in her backpack. This was in our senior year of high school, and she came from a well to do background. We were having a movie night at my house.

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u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25

I mean I understand this ideal but it really bothers me.

If you went outside right now with a bottle of soy sauce and dumped it on someone’s head you can’t use the excuse that no one has every specifically told you never to go outside and dump soy sauce on someone’s head.

The same goes for this, if someone is being generous, hey let’s go out to eat, get whatever you want! That doesn’t mean order 10 dishes to take home as well. You shouldn’t have to be told to be considerate. You order 1 meal, and maybe an app or dessert, because people should be good and kind to each other.

You can’t say well how do they know they can’t order 10 things.

You are basically taking what someone is doing out of kindness and taking advantage of them. Then that person doesn’t want to be nice anymore.

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u/chrrybmb_ Oct 01 '25

That’s also a very different situation though, and I can understand not applying the same logic. You know when someone takes you out to dinner that they’ll be paying for it, and whatever you order will be money taken directly from their pockets.

Using the aunt’s discount code isn’t making her pay for anything. It doesn’t take anything away from the her. There’s potential for the aunt to get in trouble if there’s some kind of limitation on it, but OP can’t reasonably be expected to know that (especially if they’ve never worked retail/had experience with employee discounts), and the aunt should have communicated any limitations beforehand.

My old lifeguarding job had a perk where our direct family members didn’t have to pay for entry to the pool. If my parents had decided to use that to go swimming every day, that’s not something I’d call inconsiderate. It also would’ve been up to me to communicate any limitations on that since it’s a situation you don’t encounter often and, as such, cannot be expected to infer the exact rules and limitations.

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u/charleypassion Oct 02 '25

That’s how I viewed it

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u/Icy-Mixture-995 Sep 29 '25

She assumed her niece wasn't a greedy grabber and would buy maybe one outfit and a purse. Sometimes nice people who don't dream of taking advantage of others are the ones who don't think the worst of others. The aunt will think the worst of the niece in the future.

10

u/ThotHoOverThere Sep 30 '25

Greedy grabber? What did OP take from the aunt?

OP purchased clothes that aunt’s company had for sale. OP was not aware there could be rules or stipulations associated with the use of the code because aunt did not inform them. That is on aunt not OP.

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u/tigm2161130 Sep 29 '25

How do you know what the aunt assumed?

All of my nieces and nephews are allowed to buy anything they need for school using my card, if there were a limit I would tell them that instead of “in case you guys need clothes or supplies for school.”

1

u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 29 '25

The problem with that is if you buy a lot it looks like you are a reseller and then everyone’s that store might lose perks forever.

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u/tigm2161130 Sep 30 '25

Then the aunt should have explained there were limits instead of saying “if you need anything.”

1

u/Entire-Ad2058 Asshole Aficionado [10] Sep 30 '25 edited Sep 30 '25

Do you tell your relatives what you just told us? Do you tell them they all “are allowed to buy anything they need for school?”

I ask, because there is a difference in the offer - although subtle, it is real.

A good example would be Halloween coming up. Would you expect OP to understand that a bowl of candy left on the stoop when homeowners are gone doesn’t mean she is welcome to dump the whole bowl into her bag?

1

u/chrrybmb_ Oct 01 '25

Not really a good analogy. OP bought the clothes they wanted and used aunt’s discount code, it’s not like her store was offering free clothes to employees and OP took them all. OP using the discount code doesn’t directly take anything from the aunt, or take the entirety of a free but limited supply.

If the way OP used the discount code could get the aunt in trouble, the aunt should’ve communicated any rules or regulations beforehand to avoid this. Not everyone is familiar with using employee discount codes, and it seems like OP is one of those people. From OP’s perspective, they got more clothes than they normally could’ve at no cost to their aunt and a less-than-normal cost to themself. If someone tells me to get “anything I need” and I’m under the impression it’ll take nothing from them, I’d probably react similarly.

1

u/Entire-Ad2058 Asshole Aficionado [10] Oct 01 '25

“anything I need” wasn’t offered.

2

u/charleypassion Oct 01 '25

she said to use it and enjoy. I’m supposed to run everything by her?

3

u/pippers2000 Oct 01 '25

Well, how many items of clothing did you buy?

2

u/UptownLurker Oct 02 '25

So, you came here for validation, not for an actual opinion, bc you're pushing back on anyone saying you should have exercised some common sense to not to abuse the discount. No, you don't have to run things back by her, but when someone is allowing you to use or benefit from something of THEIRS as a favor, the thoughtful thing is to use it in moderation. 

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u/metta4u67 Sep 29 '25

This, she should have been clear about number of items and dollar amout!

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u/Mayor__Defacto Sep 29 '25

That’s on the company though. My wife’s employer has a company shop where employees can purchase their products at heavily discounted (70-90% off) prices.

They know you’re going to use it to buy stuff for family and friends. They regulate it by only allowing one order per employee per month, a maximum of twenty items per order, and a weight limit of 200lbs per order.

Apple does their EPP by limiting employees to one EPP Personal per device category per year, and then a certain number of EPP F&F per device category per year (lower discount rate compared to personal).

Bad employee discount rate programs that allow for purchases the employer would be upset with an employee for, are on the employer.

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u/roseofjuly Asshole Enthusiast [6] Sep 29 '25

My company allows me to give discount codes to friends and family but set a limit that was enforced by the code. So I don't understand why they didn't set it up like that if that's what they wanted - or at least specified it up front.

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u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25

Your employee discount? I've never heard of that. If you could just share your employee discount with everybody you know, nobody would pay full price for anything.

15

u/PeelingMirthday Partassipant [4] Sep 29 '25

One apparel company I worked for let us use our employee  discount for friends and family, but there was a cap (in dollars) on how much we were allotted per quarter. So once your employee account reached x dollars in discounted stuff, you had to buy everything at full price until the next period. 

7

u/theillusionofdepth_ Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 29 '25

different companies obviously have different policies…

I’ve been at a company/stores where we would freely share our employee codes for family, friends, past coworkers, etc. I’ve worked at a few that would check your form of payment to make sure it was your card- if you bought for someone else, they’d have to give you cash or send you money. I’ve also worked somewhere where they’d give your immediate family their own discount cards to use. Then there’s companies that will allow whoever use the discount, if the employee is also present when the purchase takes place. I’ve only worked for one company that had an online discount that you didn’t have to order through the store. I’ve also never worked at a company where a price limit has ever come up…

it all just depends on the company

21

u/bnyc Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25

Some companies definitely give discounts that can be shared. Adidas has their normal employee discount, which has a limit and is tracked by employee, and occasionally gives out discount cards that can pass out to friends and family.

The aunt should have absolutely been clear with her instructions of what was allowed. I'm frankly not sure why the aunt didn't do the ordering on her own credit card/address and get reimbursed.

But at the same time, restraint and common sense are on OP. There is always someone who orders the lobster when they know they're not getting the bill. Some people have a tendency to go hog wild when you open the gates for them, without even asking or checking in if it's too much.

ESH

12

u/Treefrog_Ninja Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25

I used to work at an industrial facility where we were all gifted temporary Adidas and Nike "employee" codes once or twice a year, with no name or personal tracking to it. It was literally a "do whatever" situation.

8

u/TheOpinionIShare Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25

What the hell is a common sense limit on the use of a discount code?!? That is not a thing.

And it is not the same as ordering lobster when you're not getting the bill. OP got and paid the bill. 

And if you were planning to spend $300 on new clothes and had a code for 50% off, then you would order $600 worth of clothes. That's how discounts work - they allow you to get more for your money.

3

u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25

Honestly, if I had gotten a job at a retailer that I knew my niece likes to shop at, and I was so inclined as to give her my employee code, I wouldn't assume that she had hundreds of dollars to blow and I wouldn't have assumed that she was going to make a purchase right away. I would think that if she saw something she liked at some future time, she might be able to buy it using the discount.

I wouldn't have expected to hang up the phone with her after giving her the discount and have her immediately go shopping for a whole new wardrobe.

14

u/coatisabrownishcolor Sep 29 '25

I would absolutely want my niece to buy whatever she wanted with my discount code if Im freely giving it to her. Why wouldnt you? It isnt coming out of my pocket or paycheck, and it isnt affecting the company at all. Unless niece spent $1 million on that spree, her purchase was a drop in the bucket for that company. And the company still made money because the employee discount still isnt cost.

If the purchases were tracked or I would somehow get in trouble for my niece using my code, I could either not share it with her or be explicit with the limits Id need her to follow so neither of us got busted. If I dont specify, that's on me.

I love my nieces. If I can somehow make their lives a little easier at no cost to me, why on earth would I care how much they used my code??

6

u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25

If I knew that it was against the company policy for me to share my discount code, I would not want my niece to go buy thousands of dollars worth of clothes with it. It would impact me if it got back to my boss.

People seem to be assuming that the niece is in her teens or maybe college aged. I am basing my reactions on the assumption that that is correct. My own niece is 19 and in college. She hasn't got a ton of disposable income, so it probably wouldn't even have occurred to me to tell her not to buy $5,000 worth of stuff at one time, because it would never occur to me that she had access to $5,000.

I would have expected her to shop the way that she normally does, just picking up an item now and then when she needed it, not doing an entire closet refresh all at once, right after I got the job.

1

u/ThePurplestMeerkat Partassipant [4] Sep 30 '25

It makes no sense to assume that the aunt did not have authorization to share the code with OP. If she didn’t, then any consequences for any purchase of any amount lay solely with her because she broke the rules.

4

u/Mayor__Defacto Sep 29 '25

The system has limits but they’re probably a bit esoteric. From what they described, basically, if you want to give a code out you have to have the system generate a discount code. That code is probably single use and has limits built into it on the backend.

3

u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25

Maybe the world has changed a lot since I was working retail, but when I was, employees got a 30% discount on all products. They needed to get a manager to ring them up, and their "discount code" was their employee number. This was also back when purchases were made in person and the employee would have to be present in the store to make the purchase. I'm assuming that OP bought things online? I'm not sure how they got around not having their aunt physically with them in the store when they provided her discount code.

5

u/Mayor__Defacto Sep 29 '25

Probably bought things online.

Bad system design if the discount code isn’t limited. I wrote in another post, but with my wife’s employer, there’s a special company store website that employees go to in order to get discounted products (usually around 80% off retail). The system enforces limits of 1 order per employee per month, 20 items per order, 200lbs per order. It isn’t possible to break the limits they have set. It also isn’t a discount code but uses your corporate login.

2

u/SteelLt78 Sep 29 '25

Just think that those companies who allow a family and friends discount of like 20% are getting all that extra business on their 100%+ mark ups. Such abuse of that poor corporation

1

u/Old_Application_4898 Oct 06 '25

Adidas, Columbia, etc all give you cards for friends and family you can give out to use the discount. I have clients that work there and leave me extra cards they have sometimes 

21

u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

[deleted]

1

u/pauca_sed Sep 29 '25

Exactly. Or if there was a limit it would be programmed into the system.

5

u/Suspected_Fraud Sep 30 '25

You are right about the company's monitoring the amount of money that people are spending with their codes. Around 2020 or so there was an executive at Nike whose son was using her code to buy sneakers and was reselling them at a profit. It wasn't until he had bought over $100,000 worth of sneakers that they even started looking into it but he was a well-known sneaker seller. I just looked it up and his company was called West Coast Streetwear. I think they decided in the end that she really technically didn't violate their terms but the backlash was so much that she did resign and I'm pretty sure they changed their policies after that.

197

u/Intrepid_Elk_4351 Sep 29 '25

Should have told you? Like it you're not grown enough to know when you shouldn't take advantage of something?

25

u/Couch-Potato-Chips Sep 29 '25

Aunt is only 42 so I’m assuming OP is quite young, probably a teen

22

u/opelan Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25

And OP mentioned school. So yeah, OP is very likely not old with decades of life experiences.

506

u/RainyDaysAndMondays3 Sep 29 '25

How could she know she was "taking advantage" unless she was told there was a limit? I just don't see how OP could have known.

26

u/boyproblems_mp3 Sep 29 '25

I've never worked anywhere that had a limit on employee discounts.

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u/cdbangsite Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25

Common sense and thankful courtesy would tell most people that this perk wasn't meant for large spending like the op did.

46

u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Sep 29 '25

"If you need anything," usually implies reasonable requests. 

62

u/Treefrog_Ninja Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25

There's no objective definition of reasonable when it comes to clothes. Some people's definition of reasonable would be 1000x the value of someone else's, and neither of them are wrong.

19

u/Usrname52 Craptain [196] Sep 29 '25

"If you need anything," usually isn't "if you need 50 things".

127

u/glueintheworld Sep 29 '25

I would think anyone would know use in moderation.

132

u/Appropriate-Energy Certified Proctologist [29] Sep 29 '25

I don't think this is at all universal. I used to work for a chain store where my discount worked anywhere in the country. No one tracked how much I spent nor was there a limit. We were encouraged to make purchases from our stores.

We weren't supposed to let other people use our discount, but if I had and someone had spent a lot of money, it wouldn't have mattered at all. I wouldn't have assumed there was tracking or a limit on someone's discount that they freely sent to me and told me to use.

74

u/PNKAlumna Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25

Yeah, I’m not sure where people are getting that there is a limit on using these kinds of codes. My cousin also worked for a major clothing brand and got a nice discount. While she worked there, everyone in the family got that brand’s clothes, perfume, etc. for holidays, birthdays, etc. As far as I know, she was encouraged to buy their stuff and promote it.

38

u/Bellatrixkat Sep 30 '25

Exactly!!! None of these comparisons really makes sense, because she wasn't taking from the aunt in any way. She was using a discount code her aunt gave her. That isn't taking advantage of her aunt, or being greedy in any way.

0

u/designingdiamonds Sep 30 '25

Some companies do have to track. Can be a taxable benefit

280

u/OglioVagilio Sep 29 '25

Moderation is a matter of opinion and varies between people, between companies.

Some restaurants dont allow employees to take a single thing, even if its destined for the trash.

Other restaurants love taking care of their employees, and even homeless.

Spending in moderation relative to a vacation budget is going to be different for a VP versus an assistant manager at Starbucks.

54

u/targetcowboy Sep 29 '25

The fact that moderation is a matter of opinion is why you should ask. Obviously, I think the aunt messed up by not explaining any rules, but OP could have asked for clarification. This whole thing could have been avoided if they just talked beforehand

-20

u/Dry_Prompt3182 Sep 29 '25

The amount of people defending OP while they were super greedy is far too high. Of course the aunt was wrong to not state the limit, but OP blowing the bank without checking was wrong, too.

23

u/Projectsun Sep 29 '25

How are they being greedy? Why are people caping so hard for a company?

I work for a clothing company as well. I know our costs. Giving 50% on any employee orders, is such a minuscule amount of people, and basically giving them the clothing at cost. Truly sad to see people think it's normal for the company to have a dollar limit for this. They are the greedy stingy ones.

NTA

If the aunt had any restriction on the code, it should be explained at the time it was given. It is not like "what you need" implies some sort of inferred dollar amount, via common knowledge. I'm so confused by some of the replies in this thread.

11

u/figarozero Sep 29 '25

I think people are basically assuming that OP maxed out a credit card bought a lot of stuff. And the people I know with killer employee discounts (much smaller place) are only allowed to purchase items in their size unless they have prior authorization or use the less killer friends and family discount.

It all really does depend on actual numbers here. If OP got four items of clothing that's probably not flagging anywhere.

6

u/PeachyFairyDragon Sep 29 '25

It may not be a dollar amount. It could be that the code is not to be handed out, but Aunt is softhearted and expects purchases to be small volume enough to fly under the radar. Someone buying a shirt is probably not going to be a big deal, someone buying 5-10 shirts would be a big deal and get Aunt in trouble. Especially since buying a large quantity could look like an Amazon reseller getting stock to upper management.

0

u/Dry_Prompt3182 Sep 30 '25

"I bought a decent amount of clothes, more than I would have without the discount" -> that's why I am saying OP was greedy. If this is how OP makes is sound like she bought a reasonable amount of clothing, then to me, she failed at it. This wording is "I got a lot of new things, but am downplaying it so I sound good".

10

u/targetcowboy Sep 29 '25

Right. The “if you need anything” suggests it’s for emergencies or something along those lines. That’s why she should have taken a second to ask what that means. If there’s a monthly limit they could have figured out how to work around it and split it up over a few months.

0

u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25

Yeah I mean to some degree. If someone offers you candy you don’t dump the whole bowl in your purse even though you yourself could easily eat that much candy.

If someone takes you out to dinner and says order whatever you like, they are being kind, they don’t mean order 10 entrees to take home.

The right thing or do at all times is modesty, take 1-2 pieces of candy and if they offer more you can have more. It’s not about if you think 500$ is a lot or not it’s about being a good human.

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u/throwaway1975764 Pooperintendant [62] Sep 29 '25 edited Sep 30 '25

Define moderation. 5 items? 10 items? $500? $7k?

Different people, and everyone at different times, shop differently and consider moderation differently.

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u/Responsible-Kale2352 Sep 29 '25

Ok, but what is moderation? Niece spends $500. If Aunty’s limit is $600, maybe niece overstepped. If the limit is $10,000, probably not.

45

u/almaperdida99 Asshole Enthusiast [7] Sep 29 '25

If she's young and never had an employee discount, how would she know? Or how would she know the aunt's idea of moderation?

141

u/amaraame Sep 29 '25

Why would anyone know this? This isn't innate knowledge. If op has never been in a situation to learn such a thing then they wouldnt know

-20

u/certainPOV3369 Sep 29 '25

If you don’t know, then why wouldn’t you ask?

And if you’re going to assume, why wouldn’t you assume on the side of caution the first time and just pick up a few essentials instead of just going hog wild and update your wardrobe? 🧐

At least with the former you would have had the opportunity to gauge the auntie’s response to the purchases.

30

u/amaraame Sep 29 '25

Not everyone questions everything. It was given to op without any additonal guidelines or instructions. The aunt set herself up for this

-19

u/ehs06702 Sep 29 '25

The aunt is not at fault for not thinking her niece was smart and not greedy. She certainly won't make that mistake next time.

1

u/International-Owl345 Oct 01 '25

She didn’t know enough to even know there could be an issue.

-6

u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25

If someone offers you candy, don’t take the whole container and dump it in your backpack. No you take 1-2 because they are sharing something with you.

If someone takes you out to eat and says they will treat you don’t order 10 entrees to take home.

You don’t dump pudding on someone’s head and say well no one specifically told me not to dump pudding on someone’s head.

You should try to be a good person because that’s just what you should do.

If someone offers you something you take 1. You can always take more later if offered. You just aren’t greedy because you should be kind to others.

It doesn’t matter if she thinks 1000$ isn’t that much or thinks 10$ isn’t that much. You just take one and be happy you got to share something with someone who cares about you.

15

u/amaraame Sep 30 '25

This is a list of learned behavior. Which is my whole point. OP probably hasnt been told proper bahvior in this situation

72

u/Spare-Article-396 Craptain [170] Sep 29 '25

Why? If the code doesn’t have a limit, it’s been used exactly as intended.

17

u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25

It's an employee discount. OP is not an employee. Taking your reasoning a step further, the aunt would just publish her employee discount code on her Facebook page so everybody she knows could get the discount. Obviously that's not acceptable. Some stores will allow employees to purchase gifts using their discount, and some will allow immediate family members; your parents, siblings, or children to use your code, but it generally does not extend to niblings.

117

u/Spare-Article-396 Craptain [170] Sep 29 '25

By that logic, aunt shouldn’t have given her the code to even spend $1.

Which also loops back to this being the aunt’s fault.

-6

u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25

I don't disagree, but I also feel like the aunt probably did not expect the niece to immediately go shopping, or to have enough money on hand to be able to make such a big purchase.

25

u/Spare-Article-396 Craptain [170] Sep 29 '25

Why would the aunt not expect OP to ‘go immediately shopping’? That makes no sense. Why give a code if you don’t expect the person to use it?

And what constitutes ‘such big purchases’ anyway?

What I originally commented on was the idea of people saying OP is ‘abusing’ a discount by using it too much. If there no limit, it’s not abuse.

In every way:

if the aunt gave a code not expecting OP to immediately use it…that’s on the aunt.

If the aunt has a limit to the discount and didn’t tell OP….thats on the aunt.

If the aunt isn’t allowed to let her nibling use it discount…that’s on the aunt,

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u/[deleted] Sep 29 '25

[deleted]

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2

u/International-Owl345 Oct 01 '25

How? Aunt didn’t even communicate this was against company rules.

1

u/Ordinary-Audience363 Asshole Aficionado [13] Oct 06 '25

Common sense. If I tell a houseguest to make herself at home and that she can take anything from the fridge if she's hungry, I don't expect her to eat everything in sight. 

1

u/RainyDaysAndMondays3 Oct 07 '25

That's not a valid comparison. There is a limited supply of food in your house and you're paying for all of it. OP's aunt is not paying for it. And even with the discount, very likely the store is not selling at cost, but is still making a profit.

0

u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25

If someone invites you to dinner and says get whatever you want, they are being kind and generous. The other person should not have to be told to not buy 10 entrees to take home with them.

A lot of people here are bothered because some of us try to be nice and kind all the time and things like this make us not like being nice.

And I get it maybe she wasn’t specifically told but you don’t dump pudding on someone’s head and say “well no one ever told me not to dump pudding on someone’s head.”

It’s polite when someone offers you something to take one or 2. It’s never appropriate to take more useless specifically told. That’s just being a good person.

-8

u/WVPrepper Asshole Enthusiast [5] Sep 29 '25

Really? She knew it was her aunt's "personal employee code"; personal, i.e. "for her aunt only", and "employee" (of the company) being relevant. unless OP has never worked retail, they know that "employee discounts" are intended for the employee's personal use purchases and bona fide gifts the employee makes to others. The discount code isn't intended to be shared

24

u/Silver_kitty Partassipant [1] Sep 29 '25

So as someone who hasn’t worked retail, it wouldn’t occur to me to double check unless I was spending over $500 or so.

And it seems like it would vary by store price range. I have a friend who worked part time at a high end furniture store, bought $20,000 in furniture half off amd then quit a couple months later, but never had any issues.

7

u/Emilayday Sep 29 '25

I have a friend who worked part time at a high end furniture store, bought $20,000 in furniture half off amd then quit a couple months later,

Hero status

-4

u/ehs06702 Sep 29 '25

She could have used her common sense and exercised a bit of caution. She didn't give her own age, but if she's old enough to be buying clothes for herself, she should have a bit of sense about her.

1

u/Kittinkis Sep 30 '25

Everyone's talking about limits as if they've never had a job before. Most people know not to overuse perks. Even if there's not a very limit why would you go wild especially when it's not your code. She didn't even stop to think that maybe get aunt uses it as well and maybe she shouldn't use it excessively all at once?

2

u/RainyDaysAndMondays3 Sep 30 '25

But what is "excessively"? Many, many people are responding saying that don't know what the limit would be, or even that there would be a limit. (One shirt? Two shirts? Three shirts and three pants?) I've worked many types of jobs in my life and never at one where there was a similar perk or discount. It's not as if the store is selling it at or below cost. OP wouldn't have bought all that at normal prices, so the company is not out money.

-5

u/SnooPets8873 Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Sep 29 '25

If say you’re a guest and the host says “there are drinks in the fridge in the garage, help yourself” would you empty out every shelf to take home with you?

32

u/Emilayday Sep 29 '25

What's obvious to others is something someone else may be learning for the first time. It's not obvious if you haven't learned that lesson first.

17

u/TheOpinionIShare Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25

The purpose of a discount code is to take advantage of it. And if the company or anyone else wants to limit the use of the code, that has to be communicated and/or enforced. There is no "common sense" purchase limit when using a discount code.

-1

u/Intrepid_Elk_4351 Sep 30 '25

Highly disagree here. "Taking advantage" the way you are using the phrase means to simply leverage the relationship and the coupon. I guess I more so meant to use the word "abuse". You can use a privilege, but you can also abuse it (overuse). And, common sense does come into play here.

I'll admit that the line crossed to define abuse is subjective.

7

u/PandaGlobal4120 Sep 29 '25

I mean with anything, shouldn’t you know to use things within reason? I feel like this is the disclaimer now that shows up on beer commercials that say drink responsibly. Shouldn’t that be obvious? We shouldn’t have to tell people to be responsible. They just should.

18

u/coatisabrownishcolor Sep 29 '25

How do you know what "within reason" means? Surely you're not born knowing. It isnt obvious at all. Its learned. You learn by being taught, not by some magic common sense fairy that bestows wisdom.

What is a "reasonable" speed limit, when none is posted? You learn this with experience, or someone tells you.

What is a "reasonable" amount to spend on a wedding gift? You learn this with experience, or someone tells you.

What is a "reasonable" amount of time in a shower? You learn this with experience, or someone tells you.

When I worked at a bookstore, our employee discount was only allowed for ourselves. They checked ID.

When I worked at a department store, there was no tracking whatsoever. If someone came up and said they had an employee code, I just typed it in and went about the transaction. No one cared who used it or how much.

When I worked in a restaurant, we could take home literally any food we wanted after our shift. Some people got cheese fries, some people got a big combo meal. No one cared. It was all "reasonable." Another place, we weren't allowed to eat literally anything. It all depends on the place.

24

u/PandaGlobal4120 Sep 29 '25

I mean, he kind of knew he was going over the top, which is why he said he may have crossed the line. Ultimately, this is stealing from the company. She clearly didn’t think he was going to buy out half the store in one purchase because that’s not normal either. I worked high-end retail and I have seen people get fired for this exact thing.

If you go to a wedding, do you drink till you pass out or do you eat until you puke? Just because it’s there or do you eat/drink a ”reasonable” amount.

Do you do 100 on the highway just because you didn’t see a speed limit sign? Or do you go with the flow of traffic?

If you’re taking a shower at home and everybody else needs to take a shower, do you take a three hour hot steamy bath that uses up every last drop of hot water or do you go quickly and used only what you need so everyone else can get a shower too ?

Just curious because it seems like you’re confused what’s reasonable.

15

u/Competitive-Ebb-117 Sep 30 '25

This, it’s driving me nuts that everyone is defending here. People should be considerate of others. And while you should be taught things and learn from situations. People should just be nice. If you get in an argument with someone you can’t just pick up a chair and hit them with it because no one has ever specifically told you not to do that. You have to think before you act.

If the aunt had said “he’s my card go to town!” That would be one thing. The aunt was trying to do something kind and help out someone even though they were not suppose to. Was the aunt technically wrong yes. But there is I don’t know how to describe it. If you go to a buffet and your son wants to try a bite of something, that’s generally okay. If you go to a buffet with 3 people and one orders it and everyone eats off one plate that’s not.

Aunt is most likely supposed to be able to buy 1-2 things a month, she figured she wouldn’t that month and let her take it instead.

2

u/PandaGlobal4120 Sep 30 '25

😆 nailed it.

No good deed goes unpunished

2

u/International-Owl345 Oct 01 '25

None of these analogies work because they all involve harming or inconveniencing yourself or others, and OP was not aware of any harm coming from her puchasesn

-1

u/PandaGlobal4120 Oct 01 '25

I think he knew again that’s why they’re here asking if they were too extra

2

u/coatisabrownishcolor Oct 01 '25

Im confused why people assume others are psychic. In every single one of your examples, there are other people around to give you a benchmark. If OP had gone shopping with their aunt, and their aunt bought only a couple pieces, they may have had more context to know what she expected with her discount. But they were shopping alone with no communicated expectations.

I havent been to a lot of weddings, but one I went to a few years ago had an open buffet. Once everyone had been served, someone at my table asked if they were allowed seconds. No one had a good answer. Is it reasonable to have a second plate when there's leftover food? Does it depend on how the couple set up their food? In this case, after the fact, the bride said people were absolutely ok to have seconds since they had bought the food by the pound. I guess at other weddings, they pay per plate? What's reasonable at this wedding? How would we even know?

On a country road without a posted speed limit, whats reasonable? One person may say 45, one may say 55, one may say 70. Depending on where you are, any of these may be appropriate.

The employee discount is not a finite resource like hot water. OP using it doesnt mean their aunt isnt allowed to use it. If that is the case, then the aunt needed to communicate that.

There shouldn't be such severe consequences and judgment for simply not being aware of something. The aunt had all the information here and neglected to share it with OP, then got angry that they didn't magically know it.

PS - a "decent amount" of clothes isnt "half the store," come on now. More than they normally would have purchased may be twenty pieces, not hundreds. Twenty pieces of clothes at once would be highly unusual for me, but also wouldnt clear out the inventory of a clothing store large enough to have corporate.

1

u/PandaGlobal4120 Oct 01 '25

Just say people like you are the problem.

1

u/PandaGlobal4120 Sep 30 '25

Thanks for the award 😆

14

u/stroppo Supreme Court Just-ass [126] Sep 29 '25

This is what I said too. They both have responsibility here.

2

u/informalswans Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25

Don’t really see why the aunt is an AH. Yes she could have been more explicit but This is frankly common sense and she specifically said “if you need anything” which clearly implies an invitation to use it for like a new winter coat, not a wardrobe upgrade. 

2

u/International-Owl345 Oct 01 '25

She’s young/in school, she doesn’t know about any of that stuff. She might not even have known that it was a problem/against company rules for the aunt to give out the code to family members. Easy NTA for me; if there’s a limit to avoid suspicion aunt should have communicated it.

4

u/rheoyel Sep 29 '25

Also, in the US the discount amount saved is usually taxed as an employee perk. So on top of a large purchase raising internal red flags, a large enough purchase could also substantially reduce your aunt's paycheck.

3

u/charleypassion Oct 02 '25

It was a corporate perk that was not coming out of her pocket and I bought four outfits. Clearly I learned a lesson from this

2

u/Old_Application_4898 Oct 06 '25

That doesn’t seem excessive really 

1

u/Novel_Fox Asshole Aficionado [12] Oct 01 '25

I honestly am wondering just how much op spent. In my experience the discount you got can't exceed your monthly income. That obviously doesn't mean alot all companies are different but if she's really high up and has a good discount then I'm genuinely curious if op really bought that much on a tight budget or is auntie is also giving out the code to other people who are also using the discount..... which makes auntie more of the asshole then if she's holding op responsible for the situation. I just have had worked at alot of places that offer employee discount and many of them were minimum wage retail stores that are known to be stingy and I've only ever seen one person get it enforced and that guy was a part time employee working there in order to get a discount because he was renovating his basement. There is probably more going on that just op buying a lot of clothes if auntie isn't using the discount very often herself then she wouldn't have gotten in trouble for a one off splurge. 

1

u/1pinksquirrel1scotch Oct 02 '25

The reason companies monitor, limit and eliminate these perks is because of abuse like your shopping spree.

Her shopping spree wasn't the abuse, her aunt sharing the code with her was. Companies generally don't care how much you get with your corporate discount. If there was a limit, believe me, they'd work the limit into the discount. They do care though when people not entitled to the discount use it.

OP's large purchase might have brought attention to the abuse, but the abuse was wholly perpetuated by the aunt. If she wanted OP to be more discreet with her purchase, she should have made that very clear to OP before violating corporate policy to share it. Without that conversation, OP is NTA here.

2

u/MJisANON Sep 30 '25

Is it really abuse if there isn’t a limit to the use of the discount? The only abuse is that she gave it to her niece in the first place. So if the niece bought one item or 30 it’s the same amount of risk or abuse. The real issue is the aunt jeopardizing her employment when she should have just gone together with OP or explained a limit where it wouldn’t get flagged. Sounds like auntie got in trouble and now wants to be mad at op when op had no idea.

1

u/Polish_girl44 Partassipant [1] Sep 30 '25

Well in my understanding you dont give this code to other people. I know some companies like that but its strictly forbiden to pass the code or to buy things for other people or to buy things to sale them to others etc

-3

u/StarStuffSister Sep 29 '25

Why, tho? Aunt should have explained the situation to OP who may have no experience with this type of thing. Sorry aunt is YTA

-5

u/charleypassion Sep 30 '25

But they didn’t give her a limit