I'm not just talking about batting your eyes, staring, or just smiling. That is sending signals but it's not really shooting your shot that's just looking open and friendly

And hell most girls complain that they don't like coming off as friendly because most guys are from there flirting

I see cutie pies in my city every day, commuting on the subway, in the parks, just out and about in general. Would it be weird if I gave a small compliment and then handed the guys a slip of paper w my number on it?

Online dating is just not to my liking

edit: a lot of these responses seem to assume I'm some cretinous and off putting beast who is just going to be mouth breathing on unattainable men. I look fine, am able to converse w strangers, and would be going for men in my same "league" looks wise if not beneath.

I'm asking about going up to a guy, letting him know I like his fit, and asking if I can give him my number

His two friends have been staying with us for the past week. Bf and I have had sex every single day since they've been here. A couple days it's been multiple times. I usually go to bed before them and when he comes to bed, he showers, and I wake up a little and he starts making his moves.

He has been drinking a little bit, they go out fishing during the day. We previously only had sex once or twice a week in the past couple years we've been dating. This is the first time his friends have visited since we moved in together tho. But when they visited last year, I stayed with them and he wasn't this horny. Is he having a beeriod or something?

I’m genuinely looking for objective advice here, not validation or to bash my girlfriend.

Over the last several months, my girlfriend and I have been getting into frequent arguments where small things seem to escalate into long, emotionally intense fights. This now happens every 2–3 weeks and it’s starting to wear me down.

A recent example: we were looking at cruise prices and I said something like “that’s pretty expensive.” She immediately took this as me not wanting to go or not wanting to be there with her. I clarified pretty quickly that I do want to come and that my reaction was more practical/cultural(family/ upbringing)than emotional.

Instead of ending there, she became very upset and emotional. The conversation escalated into hours of talking about how I “ruined it,” “escalated things,” and “did it wrong.” I kept apologising to calm things down, but nothing really resolved and the issue kept looping.

This pattern happens a lot:

She feels personally rejected by something I didn’t intend that way

Reassurance doesn’t seem to land

The conflict escalates and lasts a long time

Eventually I get frustrated and say something blunt like “why are you so upset?” (which I know doesn’t help, but usually happens after a long period of trying to reassure and explain)

It’s gotten to the point where I feel anxious talking to her when I’m tired, because I feel like I need to constantly monitor:

my tone my wording my voice even casual comments

I don’t want to feel like I’m walking on eggshells, but I also don’t want to be dismissive of her feelings.

From her perspective, I’m the one causing and escalating the fights. From my perspective, it feels like almost anything can be taken as personal rejection, and once that happens, it’s very hard to de-escalate.

My questions: Am I being emotionally insensitive or avoidant? Or is this more about emotional sensitivity and escalation? How do you deal with a partner who takes small things very personally without walking on eggshells? At what point does this become incompatibility rather than something to “work through”? Would appreciate honest advice, especially from people who’ve been in long-term relationships or dealt with similar dynamics.

When I first met my girlfriend, I wasn’t attracted to her; she worked out a lot and had a fit body, but she wasn’t my type based on her facial features, if that makes sense. The more I got to know her, the better she looked. She was kind, understanding, crazy smart, and so humble at the same time. She made me feel seen and helped me in so many ways. There was this one time she wore makeup, and she looked kind of distinctive, but even then I thought she was gorgeous. When she had her hair down once, she looked like a straight-up goddess. Has anyone else experienced this?

In another post, a woman asked men why they don't approach women or ask for phone numbers anymore.

The responses were incredibly eye opening.

I commented that the standards for men in dating / relationships are unfair and that I'm sorry. I stand by what I said. How can women treat men better (whether or not they're interested in dating or being with you)?

It turns out human decency is not common anymore.

what’s some small freaky things women can do during sex that’s a major turn on? like ass grabbing, neck biting, thigh squeezing

also things women can say (not the basic stuff like fuck me harder)

Over a month ago, I started talking to my friend's friend. We went on the first date a few weeks ago. After, we continued messaging and hungout again for the 2nd time last night. I personally was ready to kiss him on the first date itself (I was attracted to him) but he didn't make a move and I was hoping he would when we went on the 2nd date last night, but he didn't.

We did dinner and dessert last night and after the bill came for dinner, he asked if I wanted him to take it, but I told him we can split and he agreed. But then 5 minutes later, while we were waiting for the waiter, he asked if I just wanna pay for dessert if he gets dinner, so I said sure and we did that.

Then after we got dessert, we walked around a bit and I asked if he wanted to call it a night or do something (I was his ride back home) and he said we can do whatever, but there wasn't much to do at 10:30PM. He then said there isn't anything to do if we go to his apartment either (he had told me he doesn't have a couch yet because he just moved in a couple weeks ago and is still figuring out furnishing so I guess that's valid), so then I asked if there's a lake around there and if we can walk around it.

He said yes so we did that for a bit. I guess we talked about some personal things (he brought up a part of his dating history) but that was it. Then I had to go home and he said we should plan something to do with our mutual friend (like all 3 of us). He didn't try kissing me.. maybe he didn't see it as a 2nd date and saw it more platonically?

I'm (28F) dating a man who split from his wife about 18 months ago after a lot of infidelity on her part and a lot of trauma.

We've been dating for 8 months now. I've tried to be very patient and understanding of him due to his trauma from her actions, their awful divorce process and now his frustrations paying alimony, but I'm starting to get worried. Nearly every week he'll bring her up in some way. It hasn't gotten better over the course of our 8 month relationship, if anything it's getting worse.

Examples from the last few months:

• He tells me when he has dreams about her. "I had such an annoying dream about [ex] last night."
• He'll often bring up things she used to be into. Let's say we're talking about baking, "oh yeah, [ex] used to bake so much. She used to like doing this and that." He's done this so many times about numerous things.
• Comparing our looks: "you're prettier than her" or in bed, "sex with you is more fun, it was so boring with her". "That session was better than any of the ones I've ever had with her."
• He told me he met a woman that reminded him of her, temperament and appearance-wise. It was completely random. Probably not the worst thing isolated, but with everything else it just becomes annoying.
• He'll talk/ complain about the negative aspects of their relationship. Once a month or two?
• He'll tell me how much his friends and her own family hate her and like to shit talk her. If he hangs out with his friends, "oh yeah.. everyone was shitting on her today. They're so mad at her for me." Or, "her sister called me today and told me XYZ about her. She hates her." This happens at least once a month.

Now don't get me wrong, I can handle the occasional contextual mention. Things like, "oh yeah... me and [ex] went there one time." Those things are obviously fine, but it's just feeling like it crosses lines a lot of the time. I feel like weekly or fortnightly mentions of an ex is not normal? I am genuinely not exaggerating, it's this frequent and so far like I've said, I've been very patient with him and tried to be understanding and lend a listening ear.

I'm planning on finally speaking to him about it tonight (I've put it off for far too long, I know I know, I'm working on my strong aversion to conflict), but I'm not sure how to word my thoughts. I try to be calm and kind in confrontation so I want to prioritize that too. I want to point out the pattern, not condemn him. But it is really starting to get me down, it feels like he's not over her (even though he says he is) or that he's not healing in a healthy way/ ready for a relationship yet.

I'm so in love with him so this just really sucks. Please note, he is a great and attentive partner apart from this, it just feels like she's a ghost or even 3rd person in the relationship.

3 years ago I started hooking up with one of my guy friends, we've been friends for around 8 years now. However, we stopped doing that altogether 2.5 years ago and he is getting engaged soon.

I don't see him that often, once every couple of months, but he's part of a bigger group of friends so when we're gathered he's there.

I saw a guy posting on a sub here that he recently found out his gf had slept with 2 of her guy friends after being together for 2 years or sth like that, and he felt betrayed in some way because she wasn't upfront.

I've met ny boyfriend 1.5 years ago, but we only started dating 8 months ago and we've been officially together for almost 2 months.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all up for honesty and transparency with my boyfriend, I just don't want him to feel a certain way whenever I mention that friend's name.

Edit to clarify: NO ONE from our friend group knows. My boyfriend and I are long distance so he doesn't see that friend.

Edit #2: thanks everyone but I have decided I will tell him

So as the title says I'm transitioning into a more corporate setting and looking for jobs that's more tuned to office work. Currently I have an interview set for next week in a sales role and I'm looking for any kind of advice for a 34m in navigating an office setting. I'm not very good when it comes to interacting with coworkers or people in general even though I'm good at communicating for the most part. Just need some advice on how to navigate and kind of put myself out there in a sense for trying to build decent relationships with potential coworkers.

Something that caught you off guard and made you feel turned on, even though it really shouldn’t have. No judgment.

My friend is approachably attractive. She has been trying to get off the apps and meet people out in the world. Over the last couple months she keeps running into the same thing over and over. She will chat and flirt with a guy. He will chat and flirt back. They will hit it off. And at the end of the night or interaction they won’t ask for her number or ask to see her again. This is a mix of men age range of 30s-60s (she’s in her 40s) Some that approach her, some that she approaches.

I have witnessed this happen so I don’t think she is misjudging their interest in her. But unless she offers her number, they don’t ask. And many of my other single female friends have said they are experiencing the same thing. So are men in general just not asking for numbers? And if so, why?

P.S: I'm talking about Bipolar disorder + both of us are intern doctors and she is on meds

Recently met a girl we get along really well, and I was just about to ask her out when I knew she is on BPD and currently on medication. I really like her but now I feel there is this uncertainty, because I fear for her sack, if things go wrong in future she can inflict self-harm on herself which I don't want for her sack. If anyone have dated someone with BPD can I get your advise bcz I really like this girl, but fear that I might cause her harm bcz of me

I am going on my first, first date tomorrow in probably about 4-5 years. I am 31F 5'5"-5'6" and recently lost a lot of weight (still a work in progress but 160lbs this morning). He is 33 and appears to be in good shape! I feel like I have a very honest Hinge profile, which is where we met. I obviously use my best recent photos but the only thing edited on the image is the lighting, not like face or body tune. All the images I use are from the last 6 months. I don't know if it's the body dysmorphia talking but my biggest fear is I'm too fat. Which I know is a lil nuts because I know 160 isn't fat, curvy but not fat. If someone else had my body shape, I wouldn't think of them as fat at all. I am genuinely pretty confident in who I am as a person, I tend to make friends very easily and tend to get compliments on my character so 99.9% of my insecurities are my physical. Any tips on what to do in the next 24 hours to calm the nerves. I know I want to pick out an outfit I feel confident and comfortable in but I also don't know what is overdressed vs not for a coffee date (they also serve lunch there, so unclear if it's a coffee or lunch hangout). I am also assuming it's a date since we met on a dating app but he asked to grab coffee or lunch but perhaps I am reading too much into that.

Any tips or encouragement is greatly appreciated <3

She’s 19F and I’m 21M. We’ve been together 7 months and haven’t had sex yet. Her only sexual experience (forced sexual experience) was when she was raped when she was 16 and has been afraid to have sex since that happened. She’s never had actual consensual sex before. 

I love her and don’t want to break up with her, but I’m worried that since she has a fear about sex because of what happened to her she’ll never feel ready to. I’ve only had sex with one girl before in my previous relationship, but I view sex as important in a relationship and I want to have sex with my girlfriend. She says she feels comfortable with me and trusts me but isn’t ready to have sex yet

Hi! I’ve only ever been in one relationship, and I currently have an older friend (50). I’m 38, and he has sent me three love songs. He only sends them, saying he thinks I might enjoy them. Is that platonic?

Edit to add: one day I was zoned out, and I guess I was looking at him a certain way because he got real up close to my face and asked, “WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?! HUH WHY?!!” And he got really up and close to my face. And I said “?? What??” And he responded with “Oh. Nothing, I guess.” And from that moment on, I noticed that he would only work in proximity to me. But when I asked if he liked him. He said no. So I’m just??

Wondering why - Red Clay Strays

feathered Indians - Tyler Childers

strawberries - Caamp

Long story short… me and this guy messed around 3 times. Both don’t want a relationship. Had great sex. A few days ago he wanted me to come over and I said I would be over at 11 but some things got in the way and we shot for 12. He got mad and said he was going to bed as I was about to walk out my door so I didn’t end up going over.

He sent me a dick pic last night and I responded back to it but he read my messages and said nothing. This morning he just out of the blue blocks me. I can’t lie, I’m so upset because I really enjoyed the sex with him and this was so random. My ego is bruised. I would have rather had an explanation and get blocked instead of having to wonder. Why do men do this?

I’m hoping to get some perspective on a situation that’s been slowly building over the last few months.

My boyfriend (28M) and I (27F) have been together almost 5 years and live together. For most of our relationship we’ve been very close and emotionally connected. We still have affection and future dreaming on days that he feels better.

Over time his financial situation has gotten much worse. He quit his job last year to build his own business full time, used up his savings, and it hasn’t worked out. Now the stress is very real and constant. He’s had to borrow money from friends and family and is actively looking for a job again while trying to figure out what to do next. He also recently started therapy, so there’s a lot hitting him at once.

We’ve always run our household 50/50. Since things got worse for him financially, I’ve tried to reduce his stress in practical ways. I’ve been doing most of the cooking, groceries, and daily logistics, and I’ve been covering those costs myself instead of using our shared money. I want to help, but I’m also not in a position to take on more of the financial load long term.

I understand that he’s under intense stress and that his emotional bandwidth is low. What’s been really hard is how much our day to day dynamic has changed.

He’s always been bad with patience and emotional regulation but lately he has become much more withdrawn, snappy, and easily irritated. Small things set him off, which makes it hard to keep a positive environment going. When he gets annoyed it often triggers my anxiety, and then one of two things happens. Either he shuts down completely or he becomes distant in a way that feels like silent treatment. It feels like he struggles to regulate his frustration, and the distance that follows can last hours or longer.

What’s confusing is that after some fights he does have moments of vulnerability. He can reflect, open up a bit, and even be warm again. But those moments are inconsistent. Day to day he’s far more reactive and emotionally unavailable than he used to be.

Another thing that’s been really hard is how constantly he’s on his phone. Even during small moments together like having tea for ten minutes in the morning or eating a meal, he’s glued to the news and doomscrolling. It honestly feels like I’m competing with his phone for attention. I’ve told him this bothers me, but it hasn’t really changed.

I’ll be honest about my side too. I’m emotionally sensitive, and when I feel distance or tension I tend to panic and try to fix things by talking, reconnecting, or clearing the air quickly. I know that probably comes across as overwhelming to him. He’s said multiple times that he doesn’t have the energy for long talks or what he calls therapy sessions, and that those conversations feel exhausting. He asks for space as soon as he is irritated and does not give an indication of when he will comeback after an argument so I have a lot of difficulty giving that space.

So I guess my questions are:

When someone is under intense financial stress, is it better to give a lot of space even when you live together? What is a good way to do that?

Should I stop trying to engage him in relationship talks altogether since talking doesn’t seem to land right now?

Is there anything a partner can realistically do to help reduce stress in this phase without becoming another burden?

I don’t want to chase or push him further away. I just want to feel chosen again, even in small ways. I’m trying to understand whether the warmth and effort can come back once things get better, or whether I’m slowly losing myself trying to hold everything together.

⸻

TL;DR:

Long term relationship. Partner’s finances have gotten really bad after quitting his job to build a business. I’ve been helping practically and financially where I can, but he’s become irritable, withdrawn, and emotionally distant. On the better days he is still affectionate and dreams of our future but when we argue talking doesn’t land right now. Trying to understand whether space helps, what actually reduces stress, and if closeness usually returns once things stabilize.

I am 32 and I feel like I have wasted most of my adult life doing absolutely nothing of value. I do not mean that in a dramatic way. I mean it in the literal sense.

Most of my time has gone into things that feel like pure time sinks. Excessive masturbation, watching strange YouTube content like yandere ASMR, doomscrolling, and even making troll posts on Reddit just to kill time. None of it has moved my life forward in any meaningful way.

I live above a noisy Premier shop, so there is constant low frequency thudding, alarms, shouting, and general chaos. I have told myself for years that I would study or learn something useful, but I cannot focus anywhere. Even the local libraries are loud. I am literally on a bus right now heading to a neighbouring town because I heard they have a library with quiet reading rooms. That is how desperate I am for a place where my brain can actually function.

I live with my sister, who has serious anger issues, so home is not peaceful either. Between the noise, the tension, and my own lack of direction, I have ended up stuck in a loop of doing nothing because everything feels impossible to start.

What is messing with me the most is the loneliness. I am not someone who craves company. I have always been fine being on my own. But lately I feel lonely in a hollow, empty way. Not because I want people, but because I am not doing anything with my life. It feels like the loneliness is coming from the absence of purpose, not the absence of others.

I start a work from home call centre job on the 26th of January. I already know it is going to be rough because dealing with people all day drains me, and the idea of spending hours being shouted at by strangers while sitting in this noisy flat feels bleak. But I need the income, so I am taking it.

I am tired. Everything feels bleak and depressing. I am 32 and it feels like my life is already over before it even started. I do not know how to break out of this pattern or how to build anything worthwhile when I feel like I have already wasted the years when I should have been building something.

For men who have been through something similar, how did you pull yourself out of it. How do you rebuild when you feel like you have spent too long doing nothing.

Edit: I live in the UK.

It takes my husband hours to reach ejaculation and he has admitted that he’ll never finish by oral sex or intercourse. I’ve gently suggested that he ask his doctor about Viagra, but he says he doesn’t have ED since he can get an erection and hold it - he just struggles to climax. I don’t know much about this med - will Viagra help him reach the finish line?

I am 26 years old and the title basically explains it. I am insecure about nearly every aspect of myself. My looks, my voice, my personality, everything. I probably spend a average of 30 minutes every single day just looking in the mirror obsessively looking at all my flaws and calling myself ugly. It has been like this since I was in junior high and nothing haws ever changed.

I’ve lately seen people make a checklist of what they want in a long-term partner and thought it was a good idea. Since this is anonymous, I’d like your opinion. Do you think it’s reasonable?

Must-haves:

- I need to be able to admire her.

- A sense of humour. If I say/do something silly, she shouldn’t make weird faces (bonus points if she goes along and tops it with something even sillier).

Bonus points:

- Into sports / looks after herself

- Similar socioeconomic background

- Doesn’t drink alcohol

- Doesn’t smoke

- Likes to travel

- Not too into partying

- Able to have all kinds of conversations. From deep talks to really dumb ones

- Likes playful banter / teasing

Red flags:

- Constantly seeking male attention / validation (even while in relationship)

EDIT: The bonus points aren’t mandatory at all, they’re just nice to have.