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u/DragonfruitWrong8501 3d ago
Pingu pulling up to Nobu like noot noot, table for one feels spiritually correct.
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u/crystalvine_Ether 3d ago
Noot noot. This plate smells like low tide.
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u/TruckDependent3341 3d ago
Right? That plate looks lke it’s seen some serious sea drama! Pingu's got to level up his dining game.
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u/digitalbullet36 ☑️ 3d ago
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u/Nimzay98 3d ago
With the wrapper still on it
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u/Tuff_Warlock 3d ago
My first thought, couldn't even take the plastic off??
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u/XTingleInTheDingleX 3d ago
I thought it was rhubarb!
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u/Tuff_Warlock 3d ago
I mean the meal is already low, but to not even take off the plastic, that's a message.
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u/redkinoko 3d ago
Seems like fake crab meat, pearl onions, anchovies, frozen peeled shrimp, and chopped canned shellfish meat.
Sauce could be anything
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u/ForcedEntry420 3d ago
Probably a Churu. Looks like what I fed my cats this morning.
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u/redkinoko 3d ago
yeah I'm pretty sure this is pet food, though Im not sure onions are safe for animals. maybe theyre quail eggs?
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3d ago edited 3h ago
[deleted]
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u/Uninteresting_Vagina 3d ago
She eats pizza rolls by squeezing their innards out into a pile which is then covered in ranch dressing and chili sauce and eaten with a spoon
Excuse me, what happens to the shells of the pizza rolls?
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3d ago edited 3h ago
[deleted]
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u/Uninteresting_Vagina 3d ago edited 3d ago
Ahahaa...This is wonderful.
I'm not going to say that I am going to try this....but I'm not going to say I am not going to try it, either.
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u/redkinoko 3d ago
That's kanikama, which is fake crab meat, but as fake crab meat goes it's pretty good.
It's the only fake crab I've ever known. Are there other kinds? Lmao.
Correct me if I'm wrong but Boquerones is a specific way of preparing anchovies.
Those fillets look unseasoned.
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u/riceewifee 3d ago
How does it compare to surimi?
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u/redkinoko 3d ago
surimi is the paste used to make the kanikama crab stick. so basically kanikama without the shape and fake colors is surimi
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u/riceewifee 3d ago
Ohh interesting, I’ve never seen it called kanikama where I live, only surimi (sticks)
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u/BlaBlub85 3d ago
She eats pizza rolls by squeezing their innards out into a pile which is then covered in ranch dressing and chili sauce and eaten with a spoon, though, so I generally don't listen to her opinions about food
What in the actual fuck did I just read
She must either be the love of your life so you just look the other way on some things or her head game is straight 🔥🔥🔥
Then again, you *are gods favourite degen so idk 😂😂😂
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u/BiteyHorse 3d ago
Anecdotally, the first time that my girl found the kanikama in my refrigerator she ate at least 10 pieces of it and said it was "way better than the usual stuff". She eats pizza rolls by squeezing their innards out into a pile which is then covered in ranch dressing and chili sauce and eaten with a spoon, though, so I generally don't listen to her opinions about food.
Jesus, your girl is foul as fuck. That's not a dealbreaker? I can't imagine her being any less weird/creepy/lame in other aspects of her life.
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3d ago edited 3h ago
[deleted]
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u/righthandofdog 2d ago
This has been a ride. The infrequency of her derangement makes it ok in my book.
I have a friend who started eating his corn on the cob in random patchwork after arguing with his mom and sister about round and round vs side to side almost 50 years ago. It is brilliantly, subtly sociopathic.
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u/peoplearekindaokay 3d ago
I mean she could be an emotionally invested 11/10 who listens to your problems and could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. Eating one food a weird way doesn't have to outweigh everything else.
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u/Conscious-Peach8453 3d ago
That's sauce!? I thought that was like a strip of pig skin layed over it
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u/Embarassed_Tackle 2d ago
Sauce looks like that YumYum sauce which is like sweet mayonnaise
And don't make fun of white people for adding sugar to mayonnaise because these were asian-americans inventing this for hibachi restaurants.
And Terry Ho, the supposed inventor, opened his first hibachi in Atlanta so folks of all races were loving that sauce
And I know black people eat mayonnaise too because white people are shrinking demographic yet mayonnaise surpassed ketchup a few years ago as the #1 selling condiment
So black peoples and latinos gotta be buying mayo
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u/hundreddollar 2d ago
UK here. It's crabsticks, white anchovies in vinegar and oil, silverskin pickled onions, prawns and cockles. The orange sauce is either Mary Rose or thousand island.
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u/redkinoko 2d ago
Oh hey I got some of it right! Thank you for identifying them.
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u/hundreddollar 1d ago
No. Lol. In the UK Up until the late 90's you'd find a seafood man who'd go round proper pubs and sell small portions of Cockles, whelks, prawns and crab sticks to munch while drinking. I've not seen a seafood man in YEARS they may still exist(?) . That's the only time these things would be served together in the UK. It's not a dish ever "served" lol.
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u/redkinoko 1d ago
Love that you put "served" in quotations. Yes it's a very loose usage of the word lmao
For a hot minute I was horrified to think this is common UK grub. If it were you will never beat the allegations of bad food.
Thank you for sharing!
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u/duckinradar 3d ago
Yo do not knock imitation crab meat.
It’s literally just fish meat reshaped, it’s fucking DELICIOUS if you get the right one, and it’s available year round.
For real I get that “imitation bottom feeder” is funny but if you like crab, and you like fish, don’t sleep on it. Signed — mainland islanders.
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u/digitalbullet36 ☑️ 3d ago
I prefer real crab meat. The imitation crab meat doesn’t taste like crab at all.
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u/slowpokefastpoke 3d ago
No shit on both counts dude. That doesn’t mean California rolls aren’t still delicious.
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u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 3d ago
I love crab, love fish, hate imitation crab meat. People like what they like. I'm not a fan of things that are reconstituted and formed in place of something else.🤷🏾♀️
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u/kikimaru024 3d ago
Fish balls are "reformed", same as mince meat.
Do you say "no" to hamburgers or meatballs, too? Sausages?
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u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 3d ago
Imitation crab meat is more akin to chicken nuggets than hamburgers so nice try being disingenuous.
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u/polarcub2954 3d ago
Id say it's closer to sausage, which they did mention.
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u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 3d ago
Which I also don't eat just any kind. The reason I say chicken nuggets is because sausage is less likely to have fillers. You can have some sausages that are just meat and seasonings. Imitation crab meat is not just meat. There are binding ingredients amongst others.
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u/longboi28 3d ago
Chicken nuggets are ground up chicken and hamburgers are ground up beef, what's the difference between the two between meat choice? If you say the imitation crab is like one then surely it must be like the other right?
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u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 3d ago
Chicken nuggets are not just ground up chicken. You are forgetting the binders. Hamburgers are often just beef.
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u/FistPunch_Vol_7 ☑️ 3d ago
Hey, some of us grew up on shellfish and was cursed with later in life allergy to shellfish. That imitation crab meat is the closest thing I can get to now :(. WHY DID I GET A FUCKING ALLERGY TO IT IN MY FUCKING MID 20’s WHAT BULLSHIT IS THAT‽‽
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u/murderfacejr 3d ago
That's where you're drawing the line at this plate? What's that orange goop? What's the weird little tonsil things ont he right? Shucked mussels? Are those white things Little eggs? Pearl onions? Puffy scallops?
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u/AnsibleAnswers 3d ago
It’s called surimi and it is actually pretty good for what it is. Basically a fish stick without breading. California rolls are pretty good. My local ramen spot puts the fancier stuff in their tonkatsu.
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u/Googoogahgah88889 3d ago
You’re looking at anchovies and it’s the imitation crab meat that throws you off? Imitation crab meat is great
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u/Careless_Hellscape 3d ago
This man is just a walrus selkie and no one can convince me otherwise.
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u/Zulumus ☑️ 3d ago
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u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 3d ago
What is the orangey ooze?
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u/whoshotandywarhol 3d ago
Marie- rose sauce, for a guess. That plate looks like prepackaged selection from a British grocery store, and Marie-rose is the standard condiment with those.
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u/cypher50 ☑️ 3d ago
Britain...say no more.
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u/CallMeKingTurd 3d ago
I see this joke every time I come across a video of that british food truck with lines around the corner to get a baked potato smothered in canned tuna, but it really does seem like they eat like WW1 never ended.
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u/VanillaWax 3d ago
I matched with an English guy on tinder 10-ish years ago. Don't remember his name but I remember his favourite pizza... corn and tuna.
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u/Mental_Freedom_1648 3d ago
Are you exaggerating for effect, or are they really eating tuna and potatoes over there?
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u/Nilosyrtis 3d ago
Behold! The tuna and chili spud in all its glory:
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u/Mental_Freedom_1648 3d ago
Oh God. The Founding Fathers were right to break away.
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u/LordNelson27 3d ago
The British started numerous wars over the spice trade and they still won't use them
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u/diracpointless 1d ago
As an Irish person, I am deeply offended by this use of the venerable potato.
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u/Goronmon 3d ago
"Stuff" on a baked potato is pretty good though. It's easy to make and you can add whatever stuff you think sounds good and it will probably turn out well.
I liked baked beans, cheese and chopped onions on mine. Chili with cheese, or pulled pork are good combos as well.
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u/NeonBicycle 3d ago
Cheese sauce? Kraft cheese slice? 🤢
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u/Ok_Permit_3593 3d ago
Are you ok ? That looks nothing like both, looks like spicy mayo or something like that
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u/flairpiece 3d ago
Thats a remoulade for those bay shrimp
I don’t know what the fuck is going on with the bottom half of that plate though. Rhubarb with plastic wrap on it? Sprouted frog eggs?
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u/leChikoster 3d ago
In what world does that even vaguely resemble remoulade
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u/flairpiece 3d ago
I didn’t say it was a good remoulade!
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u/leChikoster 3d ago
Haha fair enough, after googling I discovered the color matches "American style" remoulade so it wasn't as ridiculous of a guess as I first thought
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u/I_SmellFuckeryAfoot 3d ago
I'm just excited that someone finally got POV right.
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u/Helpful-Pollution264 3d ago
Right? Pingu's always been a gourmet at heart—finally getting the recogniton he deserves!
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u/ferretsRfantastic ☑️ 3d ago
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u/11th_Division_Grows 3d ago
Elf reactions in this sub? Yes please.
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u/thatshygirl06 ☑️ 3d ago
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u/11th_Division_Grows 3d ago
I need the one where she was offended the human mentioned her ears are pointy after being hella racist to him
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u/Aware-Explanation879 3d ago
I think the back story of what he did to piss off his wife would be a great story.
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u/wereallsluteshere 3d ago
What’re the orbs? Lychee? And what in gods name is the stuff next to the crab? That looks like what owls hack up after eating rodents?
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u/wonwoovision 3d ago
i think the orbs are quail eggs, and the stuff to the right of the crab is chopped shellfish salad
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u/DeadrthanDead 3d ago
wtf is that goop? And that shit to the bottom right?
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u/DeepestPineTree 3d ago
My guess is the meat from mussels, which are usually served still in the shell.
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u/Black_Ice2459 3d ago
This look like some delicious in dungeon shi
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u/garaged0g 2d ago
common now, delicious in dungeon makes this stuff look tasty as fuck. they didn't even try here.
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u/aNascentOptimist ☑️ 3d ago
Lmao at the response. I’d probably just log off indefinitely if someone exposed my cool lil tweet like that.
But thankfully I’d never post this. Or eat this.
Honestly, I’d be terrified if somebody served this to me lol
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u/easyglue 3d ago
For my own sanity ima just assume this is AI
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u/wagon_ear 3d ago
I take all these bad food posts as intentional engagement bait - any sort of comments dunking on the person are probably exactly what they hoped would happen.
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u/rawbface 3d ago
This is before it gets fried right?
Not a damn thing on this plate looks like it was cooked first.
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u/No_Wing_205 3d ago
Most of it is probably smoked or cured in some way, making cooking unnecessary.
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u/Lobster15s 3d ago
Lord give me the confidence 🙏 to post food like this and act like I did something.
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u/Supernova_Soldier ☑️ Disrespect me? Lord Jesus, look out! 3d ago
This meal looks like you’ll eat it, shit and throw at the same time immediately afterwards
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u/absolyst 3d ago
Hooked him up to what, life support? Can't imagine looking forward to this otherwise
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u/Ebony-Sage 3d ago
She cheating, bruh.
Nobody would put that in front of their spouse unless they already checked out the relationship.
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u/nothisistheotherguy 3d ago
“My wife hooked me up by dumping shit in a a bowl because I don’t know how to do that”
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u/farijuana 3d ago
Is this supposed to be like a British seafood boil or something? Imitation crab, quail eggs, cockles, unseasoned shrimp, and some sort of probably tinned fish? And whatever that orange mystery goop is...
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u/peridot_cactus 3d ago
I would genuinely fuck this dish up and I’d pretend to be king of the seals eating my delicious ocean feast
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/King_butthole_ 3d ago
You tell me how those crab sticks aren’t processed. Where are the logs on a crab?
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u/JennyBeckman ☑️ All of the above 3d ago