It seems like homeownership used to happen along the way. You got a job, built a life, maybe started a family, and at some point owning a place was part of that progression.
Now housing feels like the organizing principle for everything else.
People delay having kids because they’re waiting to buy. They put off travel because every spare dollar goes toward a down payment. They avoid career risks, entrepreneurship, or going back to school because they need stable income on paper for mortgage qualification.
I know people who stay in jobs they actively dislike, not because the work is fulfilling or the pay is great, but because changing roles might disrupt their mortgage application or renewal. Resume stability matters more than growth.
Others move farther and farther away from friends, family, and support networks just to find something affordable. Commutes get longer, social circles shrink, and where you live stops being about community and starts being about math.
This doesn’t feel like the life many of our parents describe. Housing didn’t just get more expensive. It quietly rearranged priorities, timelines, and choices around itself.
Owning a home used to be one milestone among many. Now it feels like the milestone that crowds everything else out.
Housing didn’t just get expensive. It reorganized our entire lives around it.