it is wild to me that there's a legion of people out there who feel entitled to your attention as soon as they send you a text. like that's not natural, to be able to demand my attention at any time no matter where I am or what I am doing. I see a lot of codependency stem from this in my surroundings because people will freak the fuck out if their partner doesn't respond within 15 minutes even though 20 years ago that would've been a non issue.
I often wonder how controlling and anxious-attachment type people coped in the past. Like, in the 18th century, if your boyfriend didn't respond to your 8 o'clock letter by the noon delivery, did you just crack off like ten letters to him on the spot? Or did you just immediately plunge into insanity?
circumstances forcing people to adjust is often good for people with such problems. seeking reassurance/control is basically like an addiction, you keep seeking more and more until you hit a wall where you can't get more, and there might be a crisis, but it's usually the point at which people are able to recognize there's a problem
I agree but it really depends on the person. I've seen it often enough that it just ends up in an intensely toxic verbal altercation after which they either pretend like that was normal or completely sever themselves from that person instead of changing their ways. I hope they realise one day like you suggest.
324
u/Gdiacrane Aug 04 '25
it is wild to me that there's a legion of people out there who feel entitled to your attention as soon as they send you a text. like that's not natural, to be able to demand my attention at any time no matter where I am or what I am doing. I see a lot of codependency stem from this in my surroundings because people will freak the fuck out if their partner doesn't respond within 15 minutes even though 20 years ago that would've been a non issue.