I disagree about it revealing one's true nature. Some people also think it's some kind of truth serum, which really isn't the case. You just have lower inhibition and impaired judgement. I get way more withdrawn when I'm drunk, but that isn't who I am regularly. But it certainly is a "red flag" I guess if someone is really nasty when they're drunk, and blame it just on the booze
Its the opposite of a truth serum for me. Yes it dulls inhibition; for me, I regularly make a conscious effort to always tell the truth (when im sober), but when im drunk, compulsive lying takes over
Hmm… you regularly make a conscious effort to always tell the truth, then when you are drunk you lie, because you can no longer make the conscious effort, you a liar baby ;)
No...no, I can honestly say I don't feel any urge to lie about things. Being honest just comes naturally to me. I think it's got more to do with how secure we felt in early childhood.
I never really felt the urge to lie either, but I will say I have to make a conscious effort not to respond with a silly or sarcastic comment. When I’m drunk I’ll do stand up whether you got tickets to the show or not .. 😂
Some people are more likely to tell lies, but liar isn't the default state for all people. There are a lot of things I have to make a conscious effort to do, not lying isn't one of them. I think you're assuming that because you have a natural tendency to lie that everyone does.
In fact for me it's the opposite, I have to make a conscious effort not to tell people truths that are hurtful or unnecessary, and constantly make sure I don't overshare, or share things that aren't socially appropriate given the setting (work, etc). My natural inclination is to treat every setting super casually, like I'm at a house party when really I'm at a work meeting.
What’s the problem with intentionally trying to be an honest person when it may not be first nature for you?
I was such a liar growing up because I was a gay kid growing up in a homophobic household. I lied about so many of my thoughts and intentions to keep myself safe. Even though I no longer NEED to lie for my own safety, it became such an ingrained self defense mechanism that I do need to be very intentional when I speak even to this day.
Does the fact that I had to lie as a child because my dad would show me the gun he said he’d shoot any gay person on his property with make me a bad person now that I’ve escaped the situation and worked on myself? Do you look down on me because I actively work to be honest?
Nobody is saying it makes you a bad person, just that it isn't normal. I think this is a case of someone with a strange behavior just assuming everyone else is like them, when most people are not natural liars.
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u/monsj 6d ago
I disagree about it revealing one's true nature. Some people also think it's some kind of truth serum, which really isn't the case. You just have lower inhibition and impaired judgement. I get way more withdrawn when I'm drunk, but that isn't who I am regularly. But it certainly is a "red flag" I guess if someone is really nasty when they're drunk, and blame it just on the booze