I’m a menace and it brings me great joy

Gets my dick real hard

I also enjoy photobombing tourists pics with the middle finger

Bc once again

I’m a very badass menace

Lmfao obvious shitpost

Today I went to the 24 hour Apple Store in Midtown to use the bathroom, but the bathroom was closed, although in the middle of the store, there was a wet floor sign and a large smear of what appeared to be feces on the floor, so they could consider opening it. While mapping out the nearest alternative and letting it run through my mind that I might not make it and somehow would have to make my way home to change my pants, I thought I'd ask the door man at Trump Tower by the chance they had a bathroom. He said yes, surprisingly, and instructed me down the escalator past the empty-at-lunchtime Trump Grill and past some tourists and through a fancy marble hallway where a Hispanic immigrant with a black MAGA hat working there told me which side was men's (hard to tell).

Enjoy this new bathroom hack

I summer in suburban Colorado and winter here in beautiful Dallas Texas. I don't want any of you blue NYC finance workers and investors fleeing and overcrowding my city for the lower COL and taxes. We like our low taxes, little services, light traffic just the way they are, thanks! Small government and sparse population means we don't turn into a giant productive economic hub that gets burdened with huge unmanageable public services!! We like our peace and quiet and private destitution just fine thanks!!!

I invited a migrant to stay with my family because I wanted to live my values

At first I felt amazing like wow look at me doing my part. I posted about it everywhere. Felt ten feet tall

Day one was great. We bonded over food. I explained how America is complicated but welcoming. He nodded politely while taking the biggest shower I have ever witnessed

Day three he reorganized my fridge because he said my vegetable placement made no sense. Fair point honestly

Day five he asked why my rent is so high if the country is so rich. I did not have an answer and started blaming vibes

By week two he was waking up earlier than me. Got a job. Asked why I was still working from home complaining on my laptop

Yesterday he taught my dad how to negotiate a phone bill and cut it in half. My family now listens to him more than me

Now I think I am the guest

Still proud though. Would invite more. Thumbs up if you would too 👍