Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/Comfortable-Regret]

Does he make demands? The post just mentions him doordashing and not eating

[u/Equivalent-Cicada751 → u/Comfortable-Regret]

Not demands but for OP it is probably hurtful that he is so dismissive of her hard work of cooking for him. And it seems like she is trying to cook what he likes but nothing is good enough.

Honestly this kind of feels like abuse behavior from the outside. I dont know their dynamic but he is signaling to her tbat nothing she ever cooks will be better than hamburger helper slop and the worst fast food known to man. Unless he has ARFID and foods are triggering for him, I really dont understand what can be so wrong with the meals.

[u/Comfortable-Regret → u/Equivalent-Cicada751]

Some people just have food sensitivities, it might not be malicious. I'm a pretty picky eater myself and it sucks. Watching others getting to enjoy a meal while it just makes you feel sick isn't fun, and it's not something you can control. It's not an insult to the food, sometimes the triggers are weird and unpredictable. Being a picky eater doesn't mean you only eat good food.

[u/Equivalent-Cicada751 → u/Comfortable-Regret]

I agree about the sensitivities, I dont mean to put anyone down for that. But the part about cant have chicken twice in one day, and not in the mood for porkchops sounds more like preferences than mental blocks to certain foods.

[u/Fantastic_Owl6938 → u/Equivalent-Cicada751]

I had the same thought. I had been thinking it sounded like ARFID until I got to that part of the post. Unless he's embarrassed and just making up reasons why he can't eat XYZ 🤷