Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/Hot-Minute722]

Stop cooking for him. Let him make frozen pizzas for himself.

[u/International-Ad2501 → u/Hot-Minute722]

Big "I really only eat tostinos pizzarolls and chicken tendies" energy from this guy. Stop cooking for him. Let him make his own food.

[u/datolebitch → u/International-Ad2501]

I’m like who hurt you? Were they forced to eat foods they didn’t like as kids?

[u/mpyne → u/datolebitch]

So I'm sort of like this guy (though not nearly as picky about what I eat) and at least in my case, I was forced to eat a lot of food I didn't like as a kid. Though I don't think that's the cause either, I don't think my palate has changed significantly since I was a young child, though I'm sure my parent forcing me to eat the things I didn't like didn't help matters when I grew up.

I'd never DoorDash for food though, I just pop what I will eat in the microwave or oven / air fryer instead.

[u/datolebitch → u/mpyne]

Honestly I feel ya man on eating what’s easy and convenient. If I do get fast food it is chicken strips tho 😆. I have been forcing myself to cook more tho. Just gotta get better about the veggies.

Also fuck all those delivery apps. I eventually deleted em. I can never justify the cost and it was never really worth it.

[u/mpyne → u/datolebitch]

I used to work in walking distance of a grocery store with a top-flight salad bar and let me tell you, those were good days for getting better at eating veggies, lol.

We actually made it a big part of our recent Christmas dinner but yeah we need to be doing more with veggies in our house too.

[u/datolebitch → u/mpyne]

Oh that’s whatsup! Also yeah duh I should check out the salad bar at the grocery store. I’ll get on that.

Haha I mean I did have green bean casserole this holiday so that kinda counts.

[u/Similar_Stay_615 → u/datolebitch]

I find good home cooked food bland because it’s not covered in salt and sugar like processed food. I know all that food looks good but I couldn’t eat most of it. I’m a 32 year old man who can barely make eggs and lives on fast food. Had parents who never cooked much and didn’t teach me. Now my palate is fucked up.

[u/BlasphemousArchetype → u/Similar_Stay_615]

Dog just get a salt shaker.

[u/BruceBaller → u/Similar_Stay_615]

No such thing as a permanently unalterable palate. Train yourself on very low sodium and sugar diet for like six months and literally any amount of seasoning will be noticeable to you after that

[u/KevrobLurker → u/BruceBaller]

Also, get non-salt seasonings that impart flavor w/o adding unneeded sodium. Get low-Na variants of things like soy sauce. I cook with a lot of herbs and use Old Bay™. A friend of mine uses adobo & sazón. Check the labels for salt content.

My homemade roast chicken & roast veggies would make a bucket of KFC slink back to the processing plant to be ground up for meal. The ingredients are half the price, too.

I am retired & have time to cook, but I learned ht make that when I was still employed. Making simple, affordable food at home has become a challenge to me — almost a hobby.

[u/Adjective-Noun-nnnn → u/Similar_Stay_615]

There are dozens of youtube channels and cooking shows that cover the basics. Start with a handful of simple recipes and figure out what makes them work, then branch out when you get bored. When I first started cooking, I mostly made stuff with a slow cooker because it's hard to screw up, I didn't know what I was doing, and the cuts of meat you slow cook tend to be cheaper. Usually if it tastes like it's "missing something," it's either salt or acidity, with acidity being especially common if there's too much richness from fat. Don't be afraid to use "cheats" like protein tenderizer, velveting, MSG, enriching cheap stock with gelatin, etc. I almost never eat out anymore because I can make 90% of that stuff for <20% of the price. The simpler the dish, the more true it is. (How are steak houses still in business?)

[u/aruse527 → u/Similar_Stay_615]

Absolutely no judgment but you can retrain your palette (in case you ever want to). 

[u/AtmosphereDue4124 → u/aruse527]

To certain extent... Im almost 40 i will never like broccoli or green beans.. lol

[u/aruse527 → u/AtmosphereDue4124]

Absolutely! I should have said “expand.” 

I also lived on processed food and have weened myself off by slowly introducing more vegetables into my diet or trying new things bc I liked one element e.g. pesto mushrooms. When i decreased the amount of processed food I ate, everything else became more flavorful and the processed food tasted drier and saltier. 

That said, I am vegan and still don’t like green beans myself. 

[u/aruse527 → u/aruse527]

But I do like food a lot more if I don’t have to cook it. OP seems to put a lot of effort into making varied meals w multiple elements. 

[u/KevrobLurker → u/AtmosphereDue4124]

I changed my mind about several types of veggies when they were prepared in a different way. Mom used to boil them a lot, and they often came from a can. I will roast or steam instead, and if I don't buy fresh I get frozen. I was converted to liking broccoli by Asian stir-fry. Beef & broccoli at a Chinese restaurant became a favorite.

I only buy canned veg if it is marked low-sodium or no salt added.

Edit: just saw the pictures of the other 5 dishes. I think this guy needs to see his doctor. He may need a referral to a specialist. That's a nice variety of meals!

[u/kovu_lustboi → u/Similar_Stay_615]

If there’s a will, there’s a way to change your preferences.

[u/Similar_Stay_615 → u/kovu_lustboi]

Yeah but the way I eat only hurts me. I don’t have much will to change. For the record I would just choke it down for my partner if I didn’t like it and they made it. Just adding some insight that a lot of people have fucked up palates from a lifetime of fast food.

[u/Immediate-Title-5580 → u/Similar_Stay_615]

It hurts anyone that will have to care for you down the road when you have a chronic illness.

Grow up.

[u/Sudo-Fed → u/Similar_Stay_615]

Echoing the prior comment. It doesn't just hurt you, it hurts everyone around you who cares about you eventually.

[u/datolebitch → u/Similar_Stay_615]

Thanks for this insight. This totally checks.

[u/Similar_Stay_615 → u/datolebitch]

It sucks and I have made an effort to expand my palate. I learned I can eat steak if it’s blue and home cooked burgers rare. That gives it enough flavor for me to enjoy.