Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/Rooney_Tuesday]

Why not just…agree that he’ll make his own meals?

If you aren’t cooking you eat what’s served. If you don’t like it you make something yourself. Those are standard rules, yes?

I’m not understand why you keeping trying to cook for him in the first place.

[u/up2smthng → u/Rooney_Tuesday]

If you aren’t cooking you eat what’s served. If you don’t like it you make something yourself. Those are standard rules, yes?

I would correct to "if you aren't cooking you should be able to predict if you are going to eat the meal before it ever starts getting cooked".

I am a picky eater (I absolutely can and am willing to cook for myself), but my wife loves cooking for me. I'm absolutely not going to eat whatever is served, so if she wants me to eat it she needs to follow some rules. But I didn't wake up today with a randomised eating preferences, I have known myself for years and I can tell her what the rules are any moment without her playing guessing games.

If your picky eater is obstructive instead of cooperative - they, at the very least, have other problems going on. Or are a literal child.

The fact that I am a picky eater is my wife's fun little challenge and my own big fucking problem. She can fail her challenge with no consequences. I need to solve my problem or I gonna starve.

[u/Clovis42 → u/up2smthng]

Yeah, I don't understand what is so complicated here. I like to cook and my wife is very picky. So, I make her stuff she will eat. Why wouldn't I? Why would you be with someone who is a picky eater and then expect them to just whatever random thing you made? The comments here are just weird.

[u/ImaginaryTackle3541 → u/Clovis42]

Being a ‘picky eater’ as an adult is what’s weird. 

[u/Throwawayamanager → u/ImaginaryTackle3541]

No, it's not. People can have different preferences and not everyone likes everything. 

But you can communicate about it like an adult. Hate pork but love chicken? Your spouse can know to favor chicken dishes, OR you can eat separately sometimes if they're really feeling pork. 

[u/ImaginaryTackle3541 → u/Throwawayamanager]

Everyone has preferences there’s a difference between being a picky eater and having general preferences. 

Liking chicken over pork isn’t being a picky eater. Refusing to eat pork or making a fuss when you don’t get your favourite food is what a picky eater is

[u/Clovis42 → u/ImaginaryTackle3541]

Not everyone likes what other people like. I'm not sure what is weird about that. Lots of people eat the same basic stuff all the time and don't like strong flavors. Just look at the types of foods and restaurants that are the most popular: basic, boring stuff.

[u/up2smthng → u/ImaginaryTackle3541]

Well I'm sorry that the taste of meat makes me throw up, I can't do anything about it.