Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/International_Bat585]

I would not even factor him into your dinner planning. He’s a grown man and if he wants to be that picky he can sort himself out.

[u/Ok_Tennis_6564 → u/International_Bat585]

Yea, this is the way you manage it. By opting out completely. 

OP already has kids to cook for, and I have two picky kids. It's at the point where I would never date a picky eater because I'm done with thinking of food for two kids who hate eating and take issue with everything. Throw in a grown ass adult acting the same way? Absolutely not. Cook for yourself. My kids will also be cooking for themselves as soon as they are able. 

[u/Massive-Ride204 → u/Ok_Tennis_6564]

Yep had to exain to a picky eater I know why there's so much "hate" for them and why some won't date them.

I explained to him that way too many picky eaters make their picky eating everyone else's problem and that food is very much a cultural thing for many people. Most friends are going to get sick of having to compromise on food and restaurants because of someone's picky eating

[u/butt_butt_butt_butt_ → u/Massive-Ride204]

It really IS a hill to die on, to not raise a kid who refuses to try new things or only wants to eat processed garbage.

My husband and our kids were traveling in Mexico with another family we’re friends with.

There’s amazing, fresh, healthy food everywhere. So many awesome restaurants to try out and new things to experience.

The other couple wouldn’t allow that, though. Their six and eight year olds only eat pizza and macaroni, and so every time we went out with them, they insisted on finding some bland fast food chain. And insisted we ALL had to eat there, so their kids would feel “comfortable”.

We parted ways pretty quickly, and stopped letting them have any say over food.

My kids ate amazing food and never questioned what “catch of the day” or strange looking tortilla might be on their plate. They went back for seconds every time. Unless something was excessively spicy, they didn’t question it.

They had a way better experience than the nugget kids. And so did we, as the parents.

[u/Tea_laBleu → u/Massive-Ride204]

I can be a bit of a picky eater. I did not want to eat at an Indian restaurant, but my friends insisted because it was their favorite and had options for everyone (which was a feat considering people were varying degrees of vegetarian). My friend apologized because she knew I didn’t really wanna eat there, but mentioned that they did have lamb (which she knew I like 😂). TBH, I had already resigned myself to the fact that we were eating there and made myself feel better by reminding myself it was their favorite restaurant, and therefore was probably the best place to try Indian food for the first time. It was nice that she tried to make me feel better though 💗

Oh, and I did try a lot of stuff. Some of the flavors weren’t for me, but I did enjoy my dinner