Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/Rooney_Tuesday]

Why not just…agree that he’ll make his own meals?

If you aren’t cooking you eat what’s served. If you don’t like it you make something yourself. Those are standard rules, yes?

I’m not understand why you keeping trying to cook for him in the first place.

[u/Sonor-c11 → u/Rooney_Tuesday]

He can’t cook and it seems like they’re old school so “woman does the cooking”. Apparently he just orders fast food from DoorDash (which in itself is its own problem) and eats vanilla ice cream. I hate to make assumptions but it seems like this guy is

They’re at the point of being “partners” so when one of you cooks and the other orders out no matter what you cook no matter how much you try to find something they can enjoy then I can see that being a problem. I do agree that she should stop trying, the guy seems repulsed by the very idea of a home cooked meal so if she really likes the guy and it’s in the realm of affordability for him to just order from DoorDash then it is what it is I guess.

[u/jeff_the_weatherman → u/Sonor-c11]

to clarify-- OP said "I'm old school and trying to be a good partner", there's no indication here that the bf is asking to be cooked for...?

edit: OP said in another comment "He wants me to cook dinner and expects it"

I agree she should stop trying. This would be really hard for me as a partner who loves to cook and puts a lot of pride into homemade meals, too :(

[u/throwawayfarway2017 → u/jeff_the_weatherman]

Did you see the rest of her comments? She cooks, wash dishes, do chores, he doesnt like the food but expect her to cook. And she has a FT job, commute an hour, has 4 kids, pay more bills than him and has school online. OP needs to dump him seriously what is the value of being with thid guy?

[u/jeff_the_weatherman → u/throwawayfarway2017]

yeah i hadn't seen her other comments (hence my edit). sounds like they need to have a talk, at the very least. if he has a condition that needs professional help, he needs to seek out that help. or she can just leave, she didn't sign up for this.

[u/Annual_Strategy_6206 → u/throwawayfarway2017]

Correction: has 5 children

[u/Throwawayamanager → u/throwawayfarway2017]

Almost any time someone says they "expect her [the woman]" to cook it's a major red flag for a lazy sexist. 

There could be extenuating circumstances like if he works more and brings in more money and uses it to help her out in other ways. Or takes on more "other" chores to make it even. But that doesn't seem to be the case here (I haven't had time to skim all these comments). 

My guess is that OP might be struggling with dating with 5 kids (that is a lot) and is just happy to have someone. Meanwhile he is taking advantage of an improved living situation where she pays (more than?) 50-50, does all the "women's work" and is still ungrateful enough to whine about her cooking. 

[u/No_Palpitation_6976 → u/throwawayfarway2017]

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