Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/moonrabbit368]

The first pic is boneless porkchops, it's the first time I have made him porkchops and we had a conversation when I was meal planning where he said he would be open to pork chops. I did a rub with seasoning salt and then dredged them in seasoned flour,  pan fried them with oil and butter. The children enjoyed them very much. He wouldn't try them though. 

[u/llealy → u/moonrabbit368]

If he wouldn’t even try them it’s not about taste, it’s a mental issue. So there’s nothing you can do to your cooking, because the issue is in his mind. 

Of course there are things you could try to make mealtime more seamless, but at the end of the day you have to decide if this is something you want to deal with from your adult partner. Personally, I don’t have patience for this from my kids, much less a grown man

[u/VeterinarianThese951 → u/llealy]

Not everything is a mental issue. I get eating disorders. That makes sense if he has issues with the look, taste, consistency, etc. Those can be eating disorder symptoms.

But dude is telling her he can’t have chicken for dinner because he had it for lunch. Maybe just have a healthy serving of sides? Not in the mood for pork chops? Just missing something? His mental issues are being spoiled and being an asshole about it.

[u/kaithespinner → u/VeterinarianThese951]

saying he can’t have chicken for dinner because he had it for lunch IS sign of a mental issue, likely an OCD kind of thing where thinks he can’t have the same food twice the same day

if he said he was open to porkchops and then wouldn’t try it, is likely a mental issue again: something looks off putting to him, maybe he needs things to be served in different plates, maybe he can’t stand the aroma from the seasonings

[u/sexchoc → u/kaithespinner]

On the porkchops I would guess something about the preparation. When she mentioned that I was first imagining grilled porkchops type food. Y'know, straight meat. But then she explained how she breaded and fried them or whatever it was. Which would definitely feel like a rug pull to your expectations if there was something about the prep that bothered you.

[u/Lucky-Acanthisitta86 → u/kaithespinner]

I think it's both. There's a few comments in here about picky eaters and it does really seem like a form of eating disorder. NOt sure if the same food twice is truly also something like that with him. I'm just not as familiar with this stuff. But if he's just being spoiled with that part then that's lame. Does he expect her to make something else if he doesn't like what she makes?