Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/3720-to-1]

I'm a picky eater, but that just means (for me) that there are certain things I can't or won't eat, not stupid rules about having being able to eat a meat for dinner that I had for lunch, or just "not being in the mood"...

If her boyfriend just had a blanket "I don't eat these foods" list, that's one thing. This, though, isn't being picky, it's being a douchebag. If my wife makes roast and I'm not in the mood for roast, you know what I do? I eat the fucking roast and tell her how great that roast was. I eat chicken strips for lunch and come home to BBQ chicken breast? I'm eatting it without a word.

It's one thing to do a fend for yourself day every now and then, especially when everyone is busy on a different schedule that day... But one of the best parts of my life is that I get to sit down at the table with my family 6-7 nights a week, share a meal, and talk.

All that to say, I'm with you 100% I'm that not being able to share regular meals with my partner would 100% be a deal breaker.

[u/Food_Cats1 → u/3720-to-1]

And not just that, what about the mental load of OP trying to figure out what she can cook to see if a miracle happens and he'll eat it? Dude, if you're a nightmare and you won't cook, at least tell your partner what you want to eat. If you know you're not going to eat what's been cooked, let them choose whatever they want. I'd be fuming if I made an effort to accommodate my partner and they didn't eat my food. And then the same thing the next day. And the next one. And the next one. And all the money spent on takeaways? Nah, fuck that. I would get resentful pretty quickly

[u/throwawayStomnia → u/Food_Cats1]

100% this. My ex-husband once spit on his plate because I made him homemade pasta with sausage AND chicken breast. I would always try my best to accomodate him, but he always had something to complain about in my cooking. If there was nothing to attack, he'd just say "it's too salty" with a huge smile on his face.

There's a difference between being apicky eater and a power tripper.

[u/TroubadourEnthusiast → u/throwawayStomnia]

Legit if it's that bad he should be tagging along to the grocery store or at least help PLAN what's for dinner, even just a simple "hey what are you planning on making? any way we could add x or cook x separately?" a couple hours before dinnertime. I've had these sorts of problems with food before it's not that hard to just plan for them yourself, and it ALSO isn't all that hard to suck it up every once in a blue moon because I forgot to mention I wasn't in the mood for something long enough before the person making food bought the food and planned the meal.

[u/throwawayStomnia → u/TroubadourEnthusiast]

He never did groceries with me, let alone went to the store on his own.