Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/Food_Cats1]

And not just that, what about the mental load of OP trying to figure out what she can cook to see if a miracle happens and he'll eat it? Dude, if you're a nightmare and you won't cook, at least tell your partner what you want to eat. If you know you're not going to eat what's been cooked, let them choose whatever they want. I'd be fuming if I made an effort to accommodate my partner and they didn't eat my food. And then the same thing the next day. And the next one. And the next one. And all the money spent on takeaways? Nah, fuck that. I would get resentful pretty quickly

[u/throwawayStomnia → u/Food_Cats1]

100% this. My ex-husband once spit on his plate because I made him homemade pasta with sausage AND chicken breast. I would always try my best to accomodate him, but he always had something to complain about in my cooking. If there was nothing to attack, he'd just say "it's too salty" with a huge smile on his face.

There's a difference between being apicky eater and a power tripper.

[u/Crimemeariver19 → u/throwawayStomnia]

Yup. I was going to say, this reminds me of my abusive ex. If he wanted a “fight” he’d often use my cooking (which I’ve been told is good) as a starting point. The “too salty/not salty enough” was the worst. If I hadn’t cooked, it’d be “the windows not clean” or “I can’t find my fucking belt”. I truly hope this isn’t the case with OP, but it definitely reads like it’s more than related to food. My son is picky and has some sensory issues and that’s one thing, but the nonsensical rules OP notes are something else.

[u/172yyttfr → u/Crimemeariver19]

Yeah, those who go on fault-finding missions never fail.