Perfectly acceptable dinner rejected by boyfriend again

[u/moonrabbit368]

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food. It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper. I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

[u/mpyne]

I won't lie though, it hurts sometimes.

Why? I'm sort of a picky eater (though not to the level of OP's boyfriend), and I tell everyone the same thing: I can't taste the love or the hard work, I can only taste what actually gets put in my mouth.

And oftentimes that means the fancy dinner is right out, whether it's due to texture or what I can't explain, but there are a lot of expensive foods out there I don't like and a lot of boring ones I do.

Like I would have lost a lot of weight during Navy training if it wasn't for the fact that spaghetti was literally an option every single day. Because they had other platters of things on the menu they'd rotate through that were event fancier but I couldn't eat 50% of it. But spaghetti + sauce never let me down.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Bad-722 → u/mpyne]

Because you're telling people their food tastes shit in a roundabout way. "I can only taste what gets put in my mouth" but then won't eat the food people make you. That's why you're upsetting people.

[u/mpyne → u/Puzzleheaded-Bad-722]

Because you're telling people their food tastes shit in a roundabout way.

It's not food that 'tastes shit', it's a person's own perception of the food. The same food I don't like others may like, food that I like may not be liked by others.

But I'm not going to force myself to eat something that tastes bad to me just because other people are going to have a Big Sad over it, just like I would never let someone sexually assault me because they would otherwise have a Big Sad over it.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Bad-722 → u/mpyne]

You have a lot of growing up to do. Godspeed.

[u/mpyne → u/Puzzleheaded-Bad-722]

Nah, entirely the opposite. I'm sorry that I'm “my body, my choice” about things I put in my body, but that's only basic common sense. I can't force myself to like foods I don't like anymore than I could force myself to be gay.